By Du'Doll
Date: 24 January 2001
Smile at Me...Please!
What is wrong with me
Am I a mistake in your life
Do you regret me and what you have done for me
What did I so that was so wrong
I never thought you would disaprove of me so much
I tried to live my whole life how I thought you would want me to
All I have ever done I did to make you proud
But still somehow you think of me as a failure
You asked me graduate, I did
I even had good grades
You asked me smile and be happy, I did
I even smiled and hid the tears
You told me that everything I did reflected you
So I tried to honor you with my actions
When someone needed me I was there to listen
When you need me I try to help, but I am never enough
If something goes wrong in your life
Somehow taking it out on me is your answer
I can't be strong enough for your struggles and my own
I can try, but I will only fail again
Comparing me to the "perfect child" won't make me any less or any more
I will never be a quiet, humble girl
You have taught me to question everything, and stand up for myself
But now you seem to regret the independance that you have given me
Because now you tell me to shut my mouth
You tell me that I should go upstairs and shut my door
If you want me to disapear, just say it
Stop giving me excuses
Don't say things you don't mean
If you want me gone then let me go don't chase me with the same old arguement
What you say does hurt, even though I won't admit it
I do listen when you whisper in the night
I hear what you can't say to my face
What do you want from me
How can I make you proud
I feel like I have tried everything, and still nothing I do works out
What I want most from you is something simple
I want you to smile at me
I don't want a cheap, surface deep smile
But a smile that says "I love you and I am proud of the person you have become"
I am trying to stop the fighting, but I can't do it all alone
Will you help me, will you try to accept me for who I am
Can you give me a smile a genuine smile
Smile at me ...please...I am begging you
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