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So about 5 1/2 years ago, we started a regular Loveblender feature, the Blender Survey...
the grey box that usually appeared at the top of the main page and on the Blender Board.
The first questions were simple enough... What are your favorite five romantic movies? (followed later by favorite romantic scenes from movies, which probably made for more interesting read) and favorite five love songs For most of the years Kevin Urenda (a.k.a. kluless) came up with the new questions, but as the years went on it became harder and harder to come up with new questions, and then his life got a bit busy, and so we've been stuck on the final question, Who's treated you the best in love, and what did they do? for a while now. (The funny thing is, I never could think of the right answer for that question, because I wasn't sure if that could be undone by later treatment.) So, here for easy browsing are all the questions and the answers people gave on one big page. I had many favorites, from ones that asked people to dig into their personal stories (What is the worst thing you ever did to a lover/spouse/s.o. ... so... how's YOUR love life these days? ... Have you ever been desperate enough to do anything for love?) to the potentially inspiring (Describe what would be a decadent day for you... what and with whom, and where and why... ... What is a pick up line used on you that you most remember?) to the existential (Most poets here would probably say that it's easier to write from heartache than from the joy of love. Do you agree? ... Is love supposed to be easy or difficult? ... What is the most valuable thing you can give your lover?) Anyway, it was a fun run, and the Blender regulars got to sound off, and learn a bit more about each other in the process. Thanks Kevin for all your work on it! So without further ado... |
| Kirk | Henry & June Backbeat Better Than Chocolate Chasing Amy The Unbearable Lightness of Being |
| scqueen | 1)Somewhere in Time 2)Princess Bride 3)Urban Cowboy (don't you dare laugh, I luved Sissy and Bud :-) 4)Big Man On Campus 5)One On One (remember with Robby Benson?) |
| flash | Life is Beautiful (La Vita e Bella) Snow Falling on Cedars What Dreams May Come For Love of the Game Ghost |
| Galadrial | 1. The Big Easy 2. Dirty Dancing/Ghost 3. Romancing The Stone 4. EVER AFTER---how could I forget! 5. The Princess Bride |
| deevaa | Quills Shrek Bridget Jones' Diary The Wedding Singer Boys on the Side |
| Violet | My Fair Lady The Little Mermaid Casablanca Moulin Rouge The Sound of Music |
| Misti | 1. "Prelude to a Kiss" 2. "An Affair to Remember" 3. "The Fisher King" 4. "An Officer and a Gentleman" 5. "Reality Bites" |
| TJ Holland | "Run Lola, Run"....not your typical romance, but I'm not very typical I guess. "Forces of Nature"...yah yah yah. That's all I can think of for now. Fun!! |
| Remington | 1. Gone With the Wind (Clark Gable - Scarlett O'Hara) 2. Love Story (Ryan O'Neil - Allie McGraw) 3. Bringing Up Baby (Carey Grant-Kathryn Hepburn) 4. Runaway Bride 5. Hope Floats |
| jackryhme | an afair to remember : Cary grant Debra kerr sleepless in seatle ladyhawk My Fair Lady : Kathren Hepburn Tameing of the Shrew : Richard Burton and Elizibeth Talor |
| Rhetoric | The Princess Bride The English Patient The End of the Affair Indochine The Red Violin - Ok, it is an affair with an instrument, but I love it. |
| Me aka Niki | 1)Meet joe black 2)Horse wisperer 3)For love of the game Those are all i Can think of right now!! |
| B.K. | 1. The English Patient 2. From Here To Eternity 3. Cassablanca 4. Now Voyager 5. Sabrina (Audrey Hepburn) |
| chris | 1. Natural Born Killers 2. Leaving Las Vegas 3. Annie Hall 4. Black Day Blue Night 5. Love and a .45 |
| MichaelT() | 1. Grosse Point Blank 2. The Princess Bride 3. When Harry Met Sally 4. Forrest Gump 5. High Fidelity |
| Jon | 1) When Harry Met Sally 2) What Dreams May Come 3) First Sight, I think thats what its called, well that movie with Val Kilmer. 4) Gone With The Wind 5) The Lady and the Tramp |
| Tangerine | 1. A walk in the Clouds 2. Where the Heart is 3. Gone With the Wind (more later) |
| lunaa | Why do fools fall in love? She's the one Leaving Las Vegas Moonlight & Valentino Swept from the sea Waiting to Exhale |
| Echolocation | 1. Room With A View 2. Pride and Prejudice 3. French Kiss 4. What Dreams May Come 5. Four Weddings and a Funeral |
| Sati | 1. Braveheart 2. The Crow 3. True Romance 4. What Dreams may come 5. Still Breathing |
| Just Some Girl | 1.) Heavenly Creatures 2.) Far Away, So Close 3.) Bonnie and Clyde 4.) Henry and June 5.) Delicatessen |
| Jenna Holland | Bed of Roses Music from Another Room Where the Heart is Reality Bites Cruel Intensions |
| gardenguru | 1. The Princess Bride 2. It Happened One Night 3. Annie Hall 4. The African Queen 5. The Thin Man (series) |
| Randy1 | Some where in time Always Ghost Well three out of five ain't bad for a guy you know!!!! Randy1 |
| tanqueray cowboy | Always When Harry met Sally City of Angels Casablanca Ghost |
| Ali | The Princess Bride (Anybody want a peanut? Hehe...) Playing By Heart Casablanca Ever After Practical Magic |
| twiddlebug80 | One Fine Day Runaway Bride Hope Floats The Wedding Singer 10 Things I Hate About You |
| Pepper | 1. French Kiss 1. First Knight 1. Ghost 1. City of Angels 1. Sweet November Runner up: High Fidelity |
| h. | 1. Singles 2. Notting Hill 3. Henry and June 4. True Romance 5. When Harry Met Sally |
| Tangerine | 1. A walk in the Clouds 2. Where the Heart is 3. Gone With the Wind 4. Captain Correlli's Mandolin 5. A Knight's Tale |
| hollymccormick | City of Angels Bridges Over Madison County Sleepless in Seattle Titanic Pretty Woman |
| Violet | 1)foolish games -jewel 2)power of two-indigo girls 3)on my own- from les miserables 4)i don't know why (something like that)- shawn colvin 5)Near you Always-jewel |
| Misti | 1. "The World We Knew (Over and Over)" Frank Sinatra 2. "My Man (Mon Homme)" Billie Holiday 3. "I've Been Loving You Too Long (To Stop Now)" Otis Redding 4. "The Crystal Ship" the Doors 5. "(Night Time is)The Right Time" Ray Charles |
| hollymccormick | 1. Angel - Sarah McLachlan 2. Truly, Madly, Deeply - Savage Garden 3. Butterfly - Mariah Carey 4. Your Love Amazes Me - John Berry 5. Tears In Heaven - Eric Clapton & Will Jennings |
| Madison | 1. When We Dance - Sting (Fields of Gold) 2. Creep - Radiohead 3. A Natural Woman - Aretha Franklin (Goffin, Gerry/King) 4. Nocturne Op.9, No.1 in b flat - Frédéric Chopin 5. When I Come To You - Johnny Lang |
| MichaelT() | 1. Pearl Jam ~ Oceans 2. Led Zepplin ~ Over the Hills and Far away 3. Tesla ~ What you give 4. Barenaked Ladies ~ If I had a million dollars 5. Jewel and Edwin McCain ~ What matters |
| scqueen | 1.The River(Bruce Springsteen) 2.In The Dark (Nina Simone) 3.Songbird(Kenny G.) 4.Walking By My Side (Pete Droge) 5.The Lines Around Your Eyes (Lucinda Williams) |
| B.K. | 1. True Love Ways by Buddy Holly 2. Sueno (the whole cd) Andrea Bocelli 3. When You Say Nothing At All written by Keith Whitley, Sung by Alison Krause 4. Little Wing (sung by Sting or Jimi Hendrix) 5. Can't Help Falling In Love (Elvis Presley) |
| deevaa | 1. Angel Eyes, Jeff Healey 2. Beautiful in my Eyes, Joshua Kadison 3. (Could you be) the most Beautiful girl in the world, Prince 4. anything Sade. 5. Cruise by Huey Lewis and Gwyneth ('cause it is 'our' song) |
| chris | 1. My Funny Valentine - Chet Baker 2. Sistinas - Danzig 3. The Shadow of Your Smile - Tony Bennett 4. You Got Me - The Roots 5. Lay All Your Love On Me - Abba |
| gardenguru | 1. Smoke Gets In Your Eyes (Ink Spots, The Platters) 2. Can’t Help Falling in Love (Elvis) 3. You Are The Sunshine of My Life (Stevie Wonder) 4. Don’t Know Much About History (Sam Cooke) 5. When a Man Loves A Woman (Percy Sledge) 5A. (I’ve Had) The Time of My Life (great swing dance number) |
| Galadrial | The Way It Is...Celine Dion Mirabeau Bridge...James Keelaghan Each Other's Blessing...Chris Williams Can't Help Falling In Love...Elvis Breath/ Faith Hillor There You'll Be, from Pearl Harbor |
| Rhetoric | Pictures of You – The Cure Into the Mystic – Van Morrison Say Goodbye – Dave Matthews Band - almost anything by DMB Nightswimming - REM Black/Release – Pearl Jam No way that this could be my only top five - but I gave it the ole college try. |
| Arwen | Ed McCain- I'll Be (acoustic version) James Taylor- Somethng in the way she moves Lyle Lovett- Just the morning (Alb.-I love everybody) Bonnie Raitt- You or Dimming of the day(Alb.-onging in thier hearts) Annie Lennox- Primitive (Alb.-Diva) Only 5??? Arrrgghh |
| Tangerine | ~ 1. Hold Onto the Nights (Richard Marx) 2. If You Don't Know Me By Now 3. Everytime You Go Away (you take a piece of me with you) 4. I Will Always Love You 5. The Wind Beneath My Wings ~ |
| h. | 1. Somebody (Depeche Mode) 2. Black (Pearl Jam) 3. A Place Called Home (P.J.Harvey) 4. Love Letter (Nick Cave) 5. The Power of Love (Frankie Goes to Hollywood) (there are many many more!!) |
| Me aka Niki | Anytime-Brian mcknight Foolish Games- Jewel Angel/Do what you have to do-Sarah mclachlan Emotion-Destiny's child Married man- Kelly price When you say nothing at all-Allison Kraus Sorry that they are more then 5:) |
| ~*Truelies*~ | 1. Always - Bon Jovi 2. Creep - Radiohead 3. When You Really Love a Woman - Bryan Adams 4. Secret Smile - Semisonic 5. I've Got Something To Say - Reef |
| Kirk | I've Just Seen A Face - Holly Cole cover (*not* Beatles) Something To Talk About - Bonnie Raitt Son Of A Preacher Man - Dusty Springfield (since I am one...) Fever - Peggy Lee 'Round Midnight - Sarah Vaughn (includes lyrics) |
| Ali | Strangers in the Night~ Frank Sinatra Leather and Lace~ Stevie Nicks Ice Cream~ Sarah McLachlan Valentine~ Martina McBride I Love You~ Sarah McLachlan |
| jackryhme | green sleeves (very old about mid 1500's i think) memories - barbra striesand (lol never could spell) stairway to heaven beth - by kiss 50 ways to leave your lover |
| Just Some Girl | 1.) Brand New Key- Melanie 2.) You'll Never Find...- Lou Rawls 3.) I am You- Sally Potter/Yo Yo Ma 4.) Your Eyes- Peter Gabriel 5.) Emily- Los Lobos |
| taintedone | "I Could Not Ask For More" - Edwin McCain "Kissing You" - Des'Ree "Miss You Love" - Silverchair "The Boy" - Smashing Pumpkins "Say Goodbye" - Dave Matthews Band (Hey, I didn't say they were HAPPY love songs!) |
| Jenna Holland | Wonderful Tonight - Eric Clapton Color Blind - Counting Crows Patience - Guns N' Roses Crush - Dave Matthews Band Please Me Like You Want To - Ben Harper |
| Laurel Ahlfeld | "Angel Standing By" by Jewel "A Little Fall of Rain" from Les Miserables "More Than Words" by Extreme "Without You" from Rent "The Rest of My Life" by Blessed Union of Souls |
| Tanqueray Cowboy | This was quite a challenge! Narrowed it down to sexy/romatic/turn-the-lights-down-low love songs but it was still tough. Here goes: 1 - "Set the Prairie on Fire" - Shawn Colvin 2 - "Possession" - Sarah McLachlan 3 - "Europa" - Santana 4 - "Unchained Melody" - any version 5 - "Crash Into Me" - Dave Matthews Band HM- "Avalon" - Roxy Music, and about a dozen more. How 'bout "break-up" songs sometime? |
| kevin urenda | Now That I've Found You - Allison Krauss and Union Station In Your Eyes - Peter Gabriel I've Got You Under My Skin - Frank Sinatra Stardust - Nat "King" Cole Tupelo Honey - Van Morrison |
| jackryhme | crispy duck cucumber soup tilapia (chinese deep fried whole fish) octopus salid (cold) shrimp fried rice green tea |
| Jubal29717 | A wonderful, hot southern country breakfast with steaming grits, fluffy eggs, spicy sausage, home made hot biscuits and jam, real butter and ice cold milk. Then leisurely freshly ground coffee on the deck while listening to the birds and looking over the garden...what a way to start the day! |
| Jubal29717 | OOOPPPS!!! I forgot that we southerners MUST have juicy, ripe home grown tomatoes with our breakfast! |
| Violet | I like to have a nice big NY Steak served with a three cheese baked potato and a big huge pina coldada, while sitting accross from my sexy man. ;-) |
| Pepper | Hmmm... start with a couple of tropical drinks, maybe a bottle of vintage pinot noir (or the cheap by-the-glass kind) to share. I would order up some intriguing conversation with a side of smiles... okay, seriously.. I love to share baked brie with garlic cloves, red peppers and apple wedges... don't forget the candles! For the main course, NY strip steaks, medium rare, but hot... plain for her, peppercorn sauce-smothered for me. A huge three-cheese double-baked potato and some interesting vegies to add color For desert, the most rich and delicate chocolate fudge cake... .. .. and more wine! |
| Tangerine | ~ ~ ~ A glass of wine cream of broccoli or baked potatoe soup tossed salad with ranch or blue cheese dressing A ribeye/delmonico steak (medium rare) Covered with sauted onions and mushrooms Cheese baked Cauliflour and for dessert / chocolate chip mint ice cream yum.... and... oh yes, don't forget the ice water ! ~ ~ ~ |
| hollymccormick | A simple picnic of wine and cheese, maybe a small variety of fruits. On a red and white checkerboard blanket. Laid out on the beach. In a secluded spot. With seagulls above and the sound of gentle waves lapping a few feet away. |
| Kirk | Mo and I don't cook a lot, but when she's on the grill, watch out... she makes a mean "Madras Chicken Kabob" with this yogurt sauce on the side, and if I'm lucky grilled corn on the cob and/or asparagus. So eating that on the back porch (where the grill is) on a summer's evening, either just the two of us or hanging out with a friend or two... |
| Arwen | Easy-Breakfast :) |
| Misti | Pasta. Any kind...bow tie, seashell, whatever. Just as long as the sauce is red and my husband is the cook. |
| ~*Truelies*~ | It might sound really unromantic but I love eating take out food with my man. Pizza, ice cream... anything that neither has put effort into as it usually leads to a cosy night in! :-) |
| Me aka Niki | Garlic shrimps or Lobster Or Ceaser salad Then Steak with baked patotoas and brocoli in a creamy sauce As a dessert ice cream in hot fudge |
| Galadrial | Hmmmmmm...lobster...shrimp...crab---in chucks with lemon and butter...crusty french bread, slices of chilled mango, (perfectly ripe) and cannolis for dessert.... |
| Angelbethany | Vegetable Alfredo Linguine, Garlic Bread, Caesar Salad, and Red wine |
| Sophia | If I had a honey right now, I would love to share some spagetti. It's my favorite meal, and you can learn a lot (and laugh a lot)from watching someone try to eat it! lol But right now I'm sticking to my ice cream and a good book!! |
| kevin urenda | Pasta that I cook... A nice wine, italian bread, and cannolis for dessert. |
| scqueen | His brain. |
| Rhetoric | I am not sure that there is a part of his physical or mental being that I don't find sexy - but I love his hair. If you could imagine curls so coiffed and golden (flecked with grey) that all you want to do is touch, smell, and finger them all day. |
| kevin urenda | the eyes have it. |
| B.K. | Knobby elbows are about as non-sexual as it gets. They always get in the way..ha ha |
| Inversion | If I had a loved one, I'm thinking ears. But,I'm reserving the right to change my vote should I love someone who's ears happen to look at home next to a bowl of salsa. |
| flash | Do hands count? I have a hard time thinking of any body part that is completely non-sexual... and as far as the brain goes... that's the sexiest part of all!!! |
| Violet | The delightful place on his shoulder that hollows out and makes room for my head to rest. It makes me feel happy and secure. :-) |
| Pepper | I would have to say her eyes... I love the way she looks at me with loving/adoring eyes... it melts me into a little puddle on the ground. It makes me feel like the only person in the world, her prince. *sigh* |
| Jubal29717 | His eyes...deep, soft, velvety, chocolate brown. They can still make my soul do a tap dance on my heart after fifteen plus years! |
| Ali | Eyes...Definatly eyes... |
| Misti | His nose. Our noses fit perfectly, side to side. You'd have to see it. And of course I love his soulful Italian eyes...and his lips...and his beard and mustache. |
| deevaa | well, lips - but I'm not 100% sure they are nonsexual... and in case they are classed as sexual, his beautiful green eyes... or his perfectly straight teeth, or his big hands.... and his goatee is pretty sexy... |
| Kirk | Hmm, maybe the question should be "what's your favorite part of your loved one that you like in a NONSEXUAL way..." Anyway, for me it's a little brown smudge in the corner of one of Mo's blue irises. That, and her hair, I almost always dig short hair on chicks. |
| Charade | ~ ~ ~ My favorite part of a man, depends entirely upon the man... No two men are alike, and each has different outstanding features that would draw my attention and preference. One may have beautiful eyes, while another might have impressively handsome biceps, another a cute tight ass, and still another large shapely hands, while yet another has lusciously provocative lips..... One just never knows..... Unfortunately, if I like it, or it is my favorite part, it automatically becomes a sexual trigger....... When you are in love - it's all sexy.... even the toes.... *wink ~ ~ ~ |
| MichaelT() | Nose. I love the way her nose wiggles. |
| Preciousprncss | I absolutely love to look into my baby's eyes.... they are a crystal clear blue. I feel as if I will loose myself if I look too long.... |
| TJ Holland | A man's bare feet in Birks. |
| chris | Her smooth--impossibly, impeccably, smooth--arms. |
| ~*Truelies*~ | It'd have to be his nose. He thinks it's too large but it's sharp, angular plains just make his whole beauty a mystery. |
| jackryhme | her nose, she has a tiny perfect nose |
| h. | Her hair, her nose, her neck, her fingers and her dimples and her eyes and, and, and god i miss them so much... |
| wistful | Bed head. Very cute. |
| Devin | |
| Devin | Simply the way she looks at me. |
| hollymccormick | the little sapce behind his ear lobe. Very soft and very tender. |
| Jasmine_77 | He has these huge ears, and he is a little self concious about them, but I think they're sweet. The skin there is really soft and i like to touch and kiss them. |
| Derelict Daisy | 1) Queer by William S. Burroughs 2) 10 Things Women Do To Mess Up Their Lives by Laura Schlessinger 3) The Bible by Various Artists (as sung by The Gideons) 4) Painful Rectal Itch by Osama bin Laden 5) Mad Love by Andre Breton |
| Misti | Well, that's a tough list to follow (!!!) but I'll try. 1) *Slaughterhouse Five* by Kurt Vonnegut, Jr. 2) *Nine Stories* by J.D. Salinger 3) *The Color Purple* by Alice Walker 4) *For Colored Girls Who Have Considered Suicide When the Rainbow Was Enuf* by Ntozake Shange 5) *Love Signs* by Linda Goodman |
| Rhetoric | 1. Naked Lunch by William S. Burroughs 2. Cry, the Beloved Country by Alan Paton 3. Leaves of Grass by Walt Whitman 4. Man's Search for Meaning by Viktor Frankl 5. A Natural History of Rape (Biological Bases of Sexual Coercion) by Thornhill and Palmer |
| ~*Truelies*~ | 1) Girl, Interrupted - Susanna Kaysen 2) The Color Purple - Alice Walker 3) The Bell Jar - Sylvia Plath 4) A Child Called 'It' - Dave Pelzer 5) The First Lady Chatterley - D.H. Lawrence |
| jackryhme | the Hobbit anything by David Eddings Zelazny Dr sues Hinelien |
| Kirk | * Daniel Dennett (especially Consciousness Explained and Darwin's Dangerous Idea) * Milan Kundera (The Unbearable Lightness of Being) * Terry Pratchett (Discworld Series) * Douglas Adams (So Long And Thanks For All The Fish, and the rest) * Garrison Keillor (especially Book of Guys, but everything else as well) Runners Up: Jason Lutes--Jar of Fools (see October 1998 review), Jack Gilbert--The Great Fires (September 1997 review), Douglas Hofstadter--Godel, Escher, Bach |
| deevaa | Fried Green Tomatoes at the Whistle Stop Cafe by Fanny Flag The ecstatic moment - a collection or erotic adventures (I collect erotica) Red Leaves by Paulina Simmons. anything by Patricia Cornwell (the earlier the better), Mary Higgins Clark or Joanna Harris ... oh and Judith Krantz for some girlie drama! (all woman authors?!) |
| Jubal29717 | Pat Conroy: I love his portrayal of family relationships and how they impact us as adults as well as his beautiful and powerful descriptions of the REAL South Carolina beaches and life on the coast vs. the tourist junk Jenkins/LeHaye (the "Left Behind" series-a little hokey in places but rather thought provoking) Jan Karon:(the "Mitford" series)...for my Anglican fix) John Grisham:because I once aspired to be an attorney Susan Howitch: more Anglican fix Poetry: Sylvia Plath (I am glad someone else likes her...high octane stuff for sure)! Keats, Elizabeth Barret Browning |
| Echolocation | Next to impossible to limit it to 5 if you're a bibliophile (some might say "bibliomaniac") like myself, but here's my best effort: Ayn Rand - Atlas Shrugged. I like all her writings but this one is a consummation of everything she has to say. Three cheers for Rational Selfishness!! Guy Gavriel Kay - the Fionavar trilogy (starts w/The Summer Tree). Takes all the myths you thought you knew, ties them up in a big bundle with amazing characters and writing of such vivid power it should be registered with the FCC. JRR Tolkien - Lord of the Rings trilogy. A classic that demands rereading about once every three years. Anita Brookner - any of her books (Hotel du Lac is a good start). British writer who excels at painting precise pictures of solitary people; like medieval miniatures they're glowing and perfect in every tiny detail. Start with Hotel du Lac and go on from there. Anything by Starhawk, but particularly Dreaming the Dark: Magic, Sex, and Politics; and Truth or Dare: Encounters with Power, Authority and Mystery. Her writings are about (among other things) linking an earth-based spirituality to real actions to change the world. |
| TJ Holland | Timothy Miller ~ How to Want What You Have Ann Rule ~ all of her true crime files cases Kahil Gibran ~ The Prophet Sylvia Plath ~ most of her work, mostly "Daddy" TONS of other writers...as long as I FEEL something I don't care WHO they are! |
| h. | 1. J.R.R. Tolkien "Lord of the Rings" trilogy 2. Arthur C Clarke "Rama" the whole series 3. Milan Kundera "the unberable lightness of being" 4. Irvin D. Yalom "When Nietsche Wept" 5. Douglas Adams "The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy" and and and....(I still miss her...) |
| chris | Desert Solitaire (Edward Abbey) On the Road (Jack Kerouac) Turtle Island (Gary Snyder) A Sand County Almanac (Aldo Leopold) King James Bible (God) |
| Preciousprncss | 1. Flowers in the Attic, by VC Andrews 2. Gone With the Wind, by Margaret Mitchell 3. Delores Claiborne, by Stephen King 4. Rose Madder, by Stephen King 5. The Canturbury Tales, by Geofrey Chaucer |
| Violet | 1) The Pilot's Wife - Anita Shreve 2) The weight of water - Anita Shreve 3) The Shipping News- E.Annie Proulx 4) The Complete Works of Shakespeare 5) A night without armor- Jewel Kilcher |
| scqueen | 'The Sound of Waves' Yukio Mishima 'The Red Tent' Anita Diamant, Sandra Gulland's trilogy on the life of Josephine Bonaparte, 'Memoirs of a Geisha' Arthur Golden The Harry Potter series, J.K. Rowling all by Wally Lamb, Rebecca Wells, Brett Lott, Billie Letts, Pat Conroy... AND...I just finished 'The Power of One' by Bryce Courtenay. All is can say is WOW!! |
| kevin urenda | Joan Didion (I even like her novels) Marge Piercy (I have only read one of HER novels, but her poetry is unbelievable) William Bronk (a poet) Robert Heinlein (I grok that!) Stephen Ambrose (recorder for a special generation of American heroes) |
| sweetness | 1. A Prayer For Owen Meany by John Irving 2. The Cathcher in the Rye by Salinger 3. Wuthering Heights by Emily Bronte 4. November of the Heart by Lavyrle Spencer 5. Any collection of quotes Various |
| Galadrial | Heinlein---special reads...Stranger in a Strange Land, Friday, Number of the Beast, and Lazarus Long...oh...and Glory Road. Marion Zimmer Bradley---Anything Darkover, Lynthande, Avalon, Cassandra, (I would read her LAUNDRY LIST!) (we lost her this year. RITA MAE BROWN! She started with a book called Rubyfruit Jungle---but the lady is brilliant, and diverse. Six of One and Bingo are must reads if you have a sister...Southern Discomfort, High Hearts, and anything she wrote with her cat, Sneaky Pie. Anne Mc Caffrey...Harper Hall Series, and the original six Dragon/Pern books...don't forget Nerilka's Tale! And Thomas Perry wrote an amazing book called Vanishing Act. I love Jeffrey Deaver as well...I NEVER can guess his endings...so I cheated...Sue me! |
| Just Some Girl | 1.) The Grass Harp- Truman Capote 2.) This Side of Paradise- F. Scott Fitzgerald 3.) Alice in Wonderland and Through the Looking Glass-Lewis Carroll 4.) Requiem for a Dream- Selby Hubert, Jr. 5.) The Collected Shorter Poems- Kenneth Rexroth |
| flash | Authors: Shakespeare Gabriel Garcia Marquez Julio Cortazar Robert A. Heinlein Edgar Allen Poe |
| slug | The Ordinary Princess - M.M. Kaye the Harry Potter series anything by Ayn Rand and I've just read the original Winnie-The-Pooh, so that's fresh on my mind - and REALLY good. definitely a favorite tie:Anita Blake, Vampire Hunter series (Laurell K. Hamilton) and Stephanie Plum, Bounty Hunter series by Janet Evanovich (sp?) |
| hollymccormick | 1. lovingyou.com 2. www.poetry.com 3. www.egreetings.com 4. www.regards.com 5. www.loveblender.com (of course) |
| Derelict Daisy | http://www.nisbett.com/comparative/wwcog/wwcog-statement_of_beliefs.htm http://brainwashed.com/nww/ http://www.industrialhaiku.com/Lord_Buckley_Online.html http://www.russmccubbin.com/ http://www.negativland.com/ |
| BlondeVampireVictim | 1. www.residents.com 2. www.newfieldaus.com.au 3. www.landmark-education.com 4. www.rhine.org 5. www.fredfrith.com |
| Misti | 1.The Blender! 2. xanga! 3. http://www.projectgreenlight.com 4. http://www.allposters.com 5. http://www.google.com (they have the best image search engine) |
| deevaa | www.xanga.com (I've many favourite subsets of this group) www.deevaa.com (shameless plug) www.wetcanvas.com www.loveblender.com www.kisreal.com (shameless a@@ kissing... actually no, I check it every day.) |
| Kirk | kisrael.com (glad you like the site deevaa, but it's kisrAEl.com, not rEAl...) slashdot.org memepool.com salon.com theonion.com |
| One Nut Jim | www.timecube.com www.hell.com (must register) www.themothmanlives.com www.aintitcoolnews.com www.hypnotic.com (register and watch "Tokyo Breakfast") |
| sweetness | 1. The Blender 2. davidletterman.com 3. northernexposure.com 4. headtraumatreatment.com check this out! 5. oprah.com |
| kevin urenda | loveblender.com www.xanga.com espn.go.com www.salon.com www.imdb.com |
| Echolocation | www.loveblender.com (duh) www.siubhan.com/sithacademy (very humorous star wars stuff) www.flingthecow.com/flash (so OK, so it's REALLY silly...) www.newsoftheweird.com www.prominence.com/java/poetry (magnetic poetry Java thingy) www.plumbdesign.com/thesaurus (3D thesaurus, fun toy for you writers out there) Oops, that's six. I never could follow directions... |
| Galadrial | [http://www.geocities.com/galadrialsgarden/] my personal site... The Blender, of course. [http://pub26.ezboard.com/bdacaptnsdockonpoetsbay] The Dock at Poet's Bay Xanga The Arcanum Cafe--[http://www.arcanumcafe.com/cgi-bin/ubb/ultimatebb.cgi] I also like the Malestrom, and while I have been there in a while, really like Lady Snow's Ice Castle...the improv thing-y there is great.... |
| Randy1 | This site, anything to do with cars and music lyric sites as well. |
| Echolocation | Didn't specify whether alone or with others, so (once again) I'm forced to add extra info :) Alone: Snowing outside, big fire inside, leather wing chair (big enough to curl up in) pulled up in front of it; bottomless mug of hot chocolate (with possible the occasional snifter of Remy Martin); and a REALLY engrossing book to lose myself in for the entire afternoon. With old friends: Spend a couple of hours at enormous, luxurious Sunday brunch (with champagne); then go home, mix a pitcher of mimosas, and watch old B/sci-fi movies to which we all know the lines, so that we can do the MST3K thing and make up our own dialog. Note: Second best would be a Star Trek (original) marathon (whoops, my geekness is showing!) |
| hollymccormick | I'm sorry but my day would be all about sex. I'm not going to lie, Beau's body turns me on so much that it dives me crazy. We would simply make love all day long and curl up (exhausted) at the edge of night in each others arms and drift off to sleep, together. |
| sweetness | A decadent day for me would be a day all alone (I'm a single mom of three), on the rocky coast of Maine, no rain, hours and hours to walk the shore, or sit and stare out at the sea and think. The ocean is the only place I can hera myself.....then I would go out to dinner, again alone, and eat my fill of seafood and dessert, and curl up in a warm bed in a cabin and sleep to the sound of the waves....... |
| Violet | Hmm... a decadent day for me... well, I'd start out on a shopping spree with the money I won in the lottery... I'd buy beautiful clothes... and SHOES! Then my fiancee and I would have wine, cheese and crackers in the park, after that we'd get all prettied up (I'd wear a dress like the one Grace Kelly wore in Rear Window... girls, you know the one!) and we'd go swing dancing and after that we'd dine at a posh restaurant and drink cocktails until the wee hours of the morning... we'd ride home in a fancy car and the rest... i'll leave up to imagination. :-P |
| Jubal29717 | A decadent day for me would be a day where my husband and I could wake up naturally without an alarm clock, snuggle together for awhile, have a leisurely breakfast, drink lots of hot coffee and have "married time" (that is talking about things without interruptions). Then we would go and "play", which could involve any number of favorite activites (usually outdoor ones like long walks or picnics in the nearby mountains) OR scrounging (that is going to thrift stores and yard sales and finding KILLER stuff for next to nothing...I call it legalized shop-lifting). We would then come home, shower (maybe not seperately!) and dress for a wonderful dinner at an elegant place. Then we would come home and have...dessert! |
| Misti | Me and my husband in San Francisco, browsing City Lights, eating Chinese food, staying in a really expensive hotel suite with room service. We'd get drunk on champagne, feed each other Godiva chocolates, make love sweet love, and go clubbing! I would have to sing in a karaoke bar decked out in a dress and heels and my feather boa and maybe my turquoise wig. And we would dance and buy lots of silly souvenirs and takes tons of pictures and hang out with John. |
| B.K. | Hawaii with him of course and all the beautiful scenery and fresh fish to eat somewhere in the country side of Maui or on Kauai, ocean to play in, trails to hike, and I have to stop now this is turning me on. |
| Kirk | Video games all day with 3 friends, then a video and nookie with Mo. At home. 'Cause I like videogames and friends and Mo and nookie. |
| Derelict Daisy | get up early like 4 oclock and smoke me a whole big bowl of reefers and drive to a favorite diner and eat me a big plate of eggs and bacon and toast with a coffee and a coke read the early paper and then go back home and get in bed with my cats and go back to sleep wake up about ten and watch regis and kelly while i take a dump then smoke up a bunch more reefers and watch a movie or go back to sleep then about midafternoon i wake up and move some dirty dishes around in the kitchen smoke another bowl and take my afternoon nap wake up in time to watch oprah while i eat some chocolate ice cream and get stoned take a 45 minute shower dress up and go have a steak dinner and then come home and watch the o'reilly factor while i catch a buzz wrestle with my cats and then hit the sack or sometimes i just sit and laugh and laugh and laugh |
| deevaa | all four days at the caravan with Ross, rolled into one supreme decadent day... Waking early, making intense, soultouching love then snoozing until noon, after which I'd be woken up to him leaning over me, and nibbling on my finger-tips, that was a wonderful moment!) Showering, then going into town for brunch and coffee, then a wander around an art gallery, holding hands, stealing kisses and smiling, we'd drive to the waterfall that is his favourite place on earth, and make love on the viewing platform, (only this time we wouldn't be interrupted like we did the first time around.) Then we'ddrive back to town and look around, laughing and talking, and pointing out treasures, we'd buy fresh steak from the butcher, and seafood from the fish store up the road, then go back to the caravan where he'd pour bourbon and cokes while I cook the steak, king prawns, scallops, and prawn fillets. I'd serve them with baby potatoes with garlic butter, bok choy, fresh steamed asparagus and carrots. THEN, we'd eat while watching a video (it was Quills last time) then feed each other the chocolates I brought in duty free (Godiva - Misti, I got 3 boxes!!) and share stories which became playful love giggling, joyous love and whispering across the pillows as we fall asleep.... *sigh* |
| chris | With my wife of course... It'd be with her even if she wasn't my wife. First we'd call in sick to work the night before. Then we'd get up early on a Friday morning, hike someplace tantilizing and secluded on the high desert--at a safe distance, of course, from the yuppie trust-funders and granola-eating, North Face-wearing mountain bikers, naturally--and then come back to our apartment and sleep into the afternoon. Upon getting up I'd go out and get us sandwiches at Subway. Misti would get her favorite (the only one she ever gets, actually)--6" roast beef on white with bacon, lettuce, jalapenos, onions, and no condiments, only salt and pepper. Oh...and one white chocolate macadamia nut cookie. Then, after lunch--or whatever you'd call that meal--we'd make love...and sleep some more. Finally, as the sun is setting and the lights of Albuquerque are coming on one by one, my wife would put on her makeup, fix her hair, put on her black leather pants and red velvet top (my favorite thing she owns) and we'd get in the car (full tanks of gas) and drive toward the setting sun. Destination: LA or exhaustion, whichever comes first. |
| ~*Truelies*~ | It'd have to be with my fella. I'd love to get up early after a cosy night sleeping in his arms, pack a picnic and go mountain biking. It'd have to be an autumn morning with a strong chill in the air. Trying to keep up with him would be fun and it'd be something new. Then we'd stop for lunch and maybe make love in a field before riding back and collapsing back into bed with eachother. It'd be perfect because it would be escaping our every day lives and that'd be good for us at the moment. |
| Galadrial | wow...... decadent alone would be going into Phillie to visit the Rodin Museum...I have never seen it, but always wanted to...coffee in a cool coffee joint, just me and a book...brain candy---nothing taxing...then dinner alone at le bec fin---putting myself in the chef's hands...yum.... decadent with a lover...a trip to a place with a decent jacuzzi, on staff masseurs...having a massage together...then chasing them out to make love...playing in tub until we get all wrinkly...getting my hair brushed...long and slow....for an HOUR...feeding each other ummy tidbits from a picni hamper...and not having to leave until we can barely move......... |
| Just Some Girl | Because I so rarely get to see him, my decadent day would be spent with my brother, who lives in another state, without the company of his wife, or our other family members. We would spend the day at the museum where he works, with him showing me lots of interesting relics, eating extravagantly and just plain sight-seeing in his city. We'd cap the day off at an art opening with lots of wine and cheese. |
| Rhetoric | I love to cook. A most extravengant day would be a cooking class at a wonderful restaurant (preferably in Italy or France). I would love to walk around and absorb the local culture (take in an opera, go to see some amazing art I have only seen in books, and listen to the local language) while having my most favorite people waiting on pins and needles to see what I have in store for dinner. I enjoy the art of serving my guests and assuring that they are enjoying themselves. To have all that set in a Mediterranean locale - perfect! |
| scqueen | Umm, Rhetoric, Should he read your post, I think you just stole my husband from me :-) |
| h. | In a cottage somewhere by the sea where there are huge waves and a wild wind. There must be some cottages near the sea. Snogging under warm blankets, making love, cooking together, making love, eating, drinking red wine, making love, watching movies, making love, sleeping under warm blankets, waking up, having breakfast in bed, making love and so on....sounds monotonous, doesnt it? |
| R. Stonecloud | "Me time": Sleep in late, then curl up with a Dean Koontz mystery and a cup of coffee (cinnamon/hazelnut/praline!). Throw on a thick, fuzzy sweater and crunch through the leaves with the dog. Soak in a bubble bath with a glass of merlot, dozing to Miles Davis, til I shrivel like a prune. Time with him: as long as he is loving me with the passion of a country song, anything could be decadent--crunch through the leaves with the dog, nap on the couch, do some greenhouse-hopping, get lost on a long ride to nowhere in particular,eat ice cream down by the lake.....I'd like to laugh with my best friend again. I need him to suddenly grab me and tell me that he wants me right then and there! And when I wake up with him "spooning" me the next day, I won't have to guess if we're in love. |
| kevin urenda | decadence alone - going to watch a football game (or two, if possible) in person, in London (England), because that is my dream (to one day see my favourite football team in person and sing with the crowd). decadence with my love - to spend all day in a luxury suite (preferably in some exotic continental locale) with nice natural light (hopefully a view of the sunset), room service, and plenty of comfortable furniture... |
| TJ Holland | Angelina Jolie!!!!!! Bruce Willis!!!!!!!! (Ya, either one!) |
| h. | Errr...I want two scenes: One would be with Sharleen from Texas and the other one would be with Tori Amos. With Sharleen it would be the looong romantic kiss with my hands in her hair and with Tori Amos, the wild kiss that later ends kissing on the floor!! |
| Violet | George Clooney. mmmmmmm... *sheepish grin* |
| One Nut Jim | Seka |
| Derelict Daisy | Don Knotts |
| BlondeVampireVictim | an elderly Katherine Hepburn (all giggling and movin' around) |
| Misti | Brad Pitt, of course |
| Rhetoric | There are too many people in my real life I would love to kiss...I don't have time for the movie star the fantasy. I will hunt down the home town hotties! |
| sweetness | Kevin Spacey......the kisses in "American Beauty" look HOT! |
| Kirk | Madonna |
| B.K. | ANDREA BOCELLI (SIGH) |
| chris | Jeannine Garafalo, Alyson Hannigan, Amy Zmindak, or Susan Ross (in order of celebrity)... |
| Ali | Alright...I so cannot pick just one... George Clooney, Brad Pitt, David Boreanaz(From Angel), and Michael Vartan (Who played the teacher in the movie "Never Been Kissed"...I can think of a few more, but I think that's enough...*smile* |
| Crystal | My boyfriend! :) He is the sweetest guy, he touches me places his tongue can't!! And he is sooooooooooo the best kisser in the world. He got the part in my little fairy tale! |
| dev0n | definetly james van der beek. you know, dawson. but not dawson. more like the character he plays in varisty blues. yeah. varsity blues james van der beek. :) |
| R. Stonecloud | Adam Sandler, without a doubt!! |
| deevaa | I've never really desired to kiss ANYONE famous... but if I am forced to pick... Drew Barrymore or Shaggy (the singer, not the guy from Scooby doo) ... |
| flash | Sarah McLachlan |
| distant moon | that girl from Dark Angel, she has amazing lips. |
| scqueen | Johnny Depp |
| deevaa | *evil grin* oh the kiss-ee doesn't have to be famous? Argyle, without a doubt. A fantasy movie huh? Kinky. |
| Just Some Girl | Billy Zane |
| distant moon | wait wait wait....I wanna change my answer to someone not famous....I was thinking famous....I choose Ali :-) |
| bp | angela landsbury of "murder she wrote," she's hot!!!!!! |
| Me aka Niki | My ex..we broke up yesterday and today All I'm doing is missing him... |
| ~*Truelies*~ | I always thought it wasn't the place but who you were with, and what you were doing that mattered. In my case it'd be the top of my back garden (B'ham, England), late at night, lying on a blanket looking at the stars with the man I love(d). It took my breath away and is still the most romantic memory I have. |
| Ali | Alright...I'm going to have to say Jamacia...I absolutely love that place...It's so amazing...The weather is great...And as for the atmosphere...Just perfect...*smile* |
| Kirk | Empty train station at night in Portugal, talking about Veronika (who decided I shouldn't come visit her as well that trip) with Baptista, who was tragically in love with his french teacher. I spoke no portugese and he spoke very rough english but with the booze and the moonlight it was terrific. |
| Jubal29717 | I have a farm in a very rural area. It is far from any large city, and so is VERY dark at night. It is a wonderful place to go, spread a blanket and lie down, and watch the stars. It is amazing what one can see. We did not get to go watch the Leonid shower, but that would have been an awesome place to do it. |
| Violet | This question was so hard for me! I couldn't answer with just one... so I picked two. When I was 17, I sat on a bench at the top of a hill over looking the pristine Skanderborg Lake in Denmark. The ground was covered with smooth, white snow, the sky was filled with stars, and the soft light reflected in the lake's glassy surface. My breath made white clouds in the air with every rough danish sentence I spoke. We talked for hours in the cold, holding hands, until we fell silent and watched the little red buses zip in and out of the country side on the other side of the water. And the other... (Not in order of preference!) I was sitting at a table in the cascade dining room of Timberline Lodge. The lighting was soft and romantic. The food was good and the wine was sweet. I was looking into the eyes of a man who truly loves me as I am. He took my hand, and told me how he felt for me (mirroring my own thoughts.) He got down on bended knee and asked me to marry him. My heart stopped. My hands shook. My eyes filled with tears. It was the most beautiful moment of my life. Now, when I think of romantic places, I think of Timberline Lodge and smile. :-) Sorry to write a novel!! |
| Misti | Cold Spring, New York. That is where Chris officially proposed to me, overlooking the Hudson and West Point. |
| B.K. | Anywhere on the beaches of Maui at sunrise or sunset, darn, probably anytime..ha One more place thats been blown to smithereens by it's own volcano. It's a small island off the coast of Antiga called Montserrat and there was a recording studio there, that sst on top of the mountain and overlooked the black silky sand beaches, called Air Studios (It was built for the Beatles) Incredible place away from it all. |
| Galadrial | Cinnamon Bay in St. John...close second on same island was at the end of the last paved road---this amazing valley that was alive with hibiscus and white star jasmine... MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM. |
| Just Some Girl | Inside my own skin when I'm in love. |
| Rhetoric | I would have to say the crest of a certain mountain on the border of West Virginia and Virginia. You can sit in the tall grass and look for miles at what I am sure is 4 states away, but actually only one. Pipestem Resort is nearby and it also has amazing views. I just love to look out over the mountains. Gooy, but quite calming and romantic. |
| deevaa | in the deep dark depths of the Marlborough Sounds, we'd had dinner in a resturant accessible only by boat, and the in the dark took a walk up to a glow warm cave... it was amazing on a warm summers evening, until I slipped and fell down a bank making so much noise the glow worms all put their butts out. |
| TJ Holland | Got up very early and drove an Austen Healy (I think??) through a mountain pass to hike out near Mt.St Helen. Brought wine and bread and cheese. We ate in a glen and...NO LIE!...four little birds spent an hour taking turns swooping down and perching on our hands to eat the bread! I put crumbs on my belly and two birds sat on me and ate. Then we hiked for an hour, eating huckleberries as we went, found a good high spot, cracked open the second bottle of wine and watched the sun set behind the pinnacle of St. Helen. It was September 11th of this year. A wonderful memory to counter the disaster that day. |
| Hedvig | .... HorseShoe Bay in Bermuda...... soft pink talcum sand clear aqua water, with gentle rolling waves small pastel colored fish quaint alcove dotted with swaying palms paradise warm summer nights balmy breezes whispering love .... |
| devin | It was a beach in Oregon. It was a cold august day, tide was out, sitting on a old piece of driftwood with my girlfriend and I distinctly remember taking "flash pictures" in my mind as the sun began to set because I wanted the images permanently engrained in my mind. I've been all over the world, Paris, Venice, Hawaii, Seoul, Iceland, but those images will always be my most romantic vision of nature. |
| h. | It was on a ferry on the Bosphorus at night. We were sitting on the benches on the side of the ferry. It was cold and we were cuddling, looking at the black sky and the city lights that were shining into our smiles. You could smell the fresh scent of the sea which was literally touching our faces with its drops. |
| sweetness | A bench looking over the highest point on the Marginal Way in Ogunquit, Maine.....at sunset, the water reflecting pink sky and the sound of the sea crashing against rocks...my head on his warm chest, listening to his heart beat..... |
| Beyond_Different | |
| Beyond_Different | I'd have to say a friend of mine's cabin in the woods. Its literally in the woods, there are no roads only trails, and the only way to get there is by horseback or snowmobile/4wheeler. It is located in a very rural area and has a very beautiful view of this expanse of valley which plays host to several gorgeous sunrises and sunsets each year. |
| Crystal | In My Lover's Arms! YAY! |
| chris | The desert just outside of Moab, Utah at 3:15 on a Thursday afternoon right before the daily monsoon (all that electrically-charged air & red dust a-blowin' thru the canyons, etc....). This is romance. |
| erin | my backyard in the summer |
| TJ Holland | In the wilds of Japan (what's left of them)...FAR from the city...in a bamboo forest, in candlelight, flowing Tai Chi moves, falling water, and HIM. |
| Violet | I think the poconos look cool... I mean, wow.... a seven foot champagne glass bath tub! How fun! It'd be a little tacky, I guess... but romantic and fun!! |
| sweetness | Anywhere on the rocky coast of Maine, with a few candles and fading daylight.... |
| B.K. | A house on stilts on a Bora Bora beach (winter) Hawaii, (2002, YES) Anywhere with HIM, absolutely anywhere! |
| Misti | San Francisco anytime. I'd like to live there someday. I like their newspaper. |
| Kirk | Eiffel Tower, just for the cliche of it. |
| Just Some Girl | Montmartre during a full moon in the spring. |
| chris | Texas. San Angelo city limits. May. Gory sunset bleeding through the stubby mesquite and ocotillo. Thunderheads building to the east. Cooler of good beer in the pickup bed & a single white rose for my wife........ |
| Rhetoric | I have two ideas of romantic spots. One spot would be for me to savour and be caught up in its beauty (just about any ocean that can catch the golden rays of a sunrise/set) and sit perfectly quiet and still. Another is to share with loved one (the amazing lush green foliage and mountains in Bali) while sitting under a handmade umbrella during a rain. |
| Derelict Daisy | I sorta think I might like to visit my reflection in TJ Holland's eyes...the sooner the better. Maybe. Actually, pretty certain. Over a long lush dinner in the Governor's Suite at The Driskill, during the Austin Heart of Film Festival, ending with a slow boatride down the Brazos. I think. |
| Beyond_Different | Hmm. I couldn't pick just one... 1. Any beach with black sand during a gentle rain shower. 2. There's a ranch in NC that is home to a certain blond haired blue eyed guy, for christmas. 3. In the drivers seat of a '65 Corvette convertible, candy apple red, top down, cruising a seldom used stretch of road in rural NY state, just as the leaves begin to turn, with that blond haired blue eyed guy riding shotgun. |
| Ali | See...I have two...'The Lady of Shallot' by John William Waterhouse. And 'The Accolade' by Edmund Blair Leighton... *smile* |
| B.K. | There is a picture of "Joan of Arc" done by Jules Bastien-Lepage in the Metropolitan Museum of Art that I swear her eyes almost burned holes in me. It was like she came alive and her eyes were luminous energy. I have to go and look at her every time I am in NYC. |
| Misti | Ali, I agree with you on The Lady of Shallot. For a long time (from fifth grade up until a few years ago) my favorite was View of Toledo by El Greco. There's also a Dali that I absolutely love but I don't know the name of it. A naked woman is leaning on a post with her head thrown back. Her roses are bleeding. |
| BlueDenim | The Metamorphosis of Narcissus by Dali. Mind-bending. |
| Just Some Girl | Self-portrait(Tamara in the Green Bugatti) by Tamara de Lempicka |
| Rhetoric | I am very partial to photography (black and white, of course) as my favorite artistic medium. Some of my faves artisits are: Jock Sturges, Richard Avedon, Herb Ritts, Imogene Cunningham, Mark Watson, and too many more to list here. However, one of my favorite photos is a black and white horizontal torso, taken by a local West Virginia artist of his wife. It hangs on my wall at this very moment. |
| Kirk | The Cleveland Free Stamp, a giant giant public sculpture of a rubber stamp that would stamp the word "FREE", by Claes Oldenburg. http://www.roadsideamerica.com/attract/OHCLEstamp.html |
| chris | "Christina's World" by Andrew Wyeth. A painting of a girl set against the vastness of Great Plains. Some farmhouses in the distance, some dry earth, lots of sky. The piece raises far more questions than it answers: Is she content in that world? Why does she seem to be grasping, yearning, longing, for something just out of reach? And what is she reaching for? (Etc.) But to me it symbolizes most of all the pain and promise that was and still is the American West. She may be in a Nebraska wheatfield, but one gets the unmistakable impression that she's looking West. A quintessentially American work. |
| Laurel Ahlfeld | Gotta love Van Gogh's Starry Night |
| deevaa | at the moment mine is a painting I'm working on to hang in the house Argyle and I are going to buy mid-2002. It has been on my easel for about 3mths now and it feels like it'll never be done, yet I still love it. Runners up are Forget me Not, Dive, the Dancer and tumble by me, anything by waterhouse, klimt and Chagall... I like semi-erotic work. |
| ~*Truelies*~ | Edvard Munch's 'The Scream' is quite a favourite of mine. And almost anything by Dali. |
| scqueen | 'And The Moon Listens...' my one and only Deeva piece. I get lost in it. |
| TJ Holland | Crystal Przybille. She's INCREDIBLE! Just come home to North America from a stint abroad (having painted the sails...ACTUALLY painted artwork ONTO the SAILS!...of a working flour windmill in Rotterdam, and had the local Dutch flocking to the countryside to see it and all her other works). She uses a vast array of mediums and every piece has a profound impact on the veiwer. DAMN, but she's good! |
| Mark McNabb | "Persistence of Memory" by Salvador Dali |
| kevin urenda | My favorite paintings are "Whites" by Davena Abioye, which I only wish I owned, and "Plughole," which I do. I also wish I had a scanner so I could share... |
| Kirk | A clay rose. Not clay, Femo, or some such stuff. |
| Misti | The first piece of jewelry Chris ever sent me...a silver chain with a heart-shaped pendant. The first piece of jewelry a man ever gave me that wasn't stolen. |
| Just Some Girl | The most delightful morning lovemaking of my life! |
| Rhetoric | Oh, I know you are going to read this and want to barf, but I think the most romantic gift ever given to me IS love. Can there be anything more amazing and tender than 2 people shattering thier walls and admitting that they are totally and completely devoted to one another? |
| TJ Holland | Knowing I invariably gather stones when I'm about, ones that just seem to 'feel' right to me with nothing really remarkable about them save that rightness, he slipped a tiny little stone in to the palm of my hand the first time we went walking together. We were by the river and the stone was smooth and cool in my hand. |
| Laurel Ahlfeld | On my birthday, someone flew from Arizona to Indiana to spend the day with me. He took me out for dinner at Denny's, and then we drove around for hours just talking. *sigh*...how I miss those days. |
| Sage | ` YELLOW ROSES. When I woke up, I found yellow lying across my bed. When I went outside, there was a yellow rose bush planted in my front yard. It had two yellow buds, that had not yet opened. When I went to my car, there were yellow roses on my seat. At work, in the early afternoon, the florist delivered a dozen long stemmed yellow roses in a big white box. The card read : "These roses may wilt and die, but my love for you will last forever." ` |
| Angel | A box of my favorite candy with the first piece being delivered warm to my mouth from his in the most passionate kiss...mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm |
| beyond_different | Hmm..Christmas gift or otherwise... Christmas I'd have to say a month's worth of homemade breakfasts at my friend's cabin in the woods...gee I miss those. Otherwise: it would be a tie between my poochy named Trixie, who I adopted and was told later that had I not come along, she would have been euthanized not five minutes later. and since I collect frogs...my MistleTOAD (which is a frog holding a bouquet of mistletoe) that my mother gave me last christmas...It has hung over the doorway into my apartment ever since and has brought many wonderful kisses and some very unique questions from neighbors. |
| sweetness | Well, I had a lot to do with this one, but a baby. There is nothing in the world like seeing your love brought to life. Even though the feelings I had for his father are long gone, my son is the best just-before Christmas present I ever got. |
| angieubaldo | a tickle me ernie... |
| B.K. | It was Valentines Day and we were at the mall at the pet store. There was a beautiful Husky puppy that had out grown her cage and you could tell she was just frantic. My heart went out to her and I had to leave as I was about to cry. He stayed to say something to the manager and when he came back had his hands behind him. He handed her to me with a red harness and leash and said Happy Valentines Day. She was beautiful, black and white with blue eyes, I named her Sasha. |
| kevin urenda | The gift of myself... through and in her. |
| scqueen | When we were first married, my husband went away on business right before Christmas. He'd once told me that when he was a child, his mother used to decorate their Christmas tree with blue lights and silver garland, and and it seemed to be a very fond memory for him. I went and bought a small live tree and put it in our bedroom. (It was a struggle for me to get it in the stand as I am usually helpless when it comes to these things). I decorated it with blue lights and sliver garland and wrote a romantic poem and stuck in the tree. When he came home from his trip,I was asleep and those were the only lights on in the house. He says he'll never forget it. |
| Just Some Girl | This question is difficult, because often, one is unable to really glean from another what is truly special. Having said that, I feel it was laughter. |
| Kirk | A valentine to an unrequited love, with this one quote of Dulcinea in Don Quixote saying how she's not under an obligation to love just because she is loved. |
| sweetness | It had to be given in secret, and he could have no evidence of anything personal, so I gave him an impersonal box of his favorite chocolate in a very romantic, and naughty way. |
| Angel | I think that would have to be a gift of MYSELF...not meaning to boost my self worth...just that truly giving the gift of your deepest inner most personal self has got to be the most romantic gift there is:) |
| Misti | I sent Chris my Love is Now book before we met. That book was my Bible. I would light candles and drink and read that book and just cry my eyes out, thinking,"Love will always be then for me." |
| TJ Holland | You would have to ask all those to whom I've given gifts to. It is not for me to say what was romantic to them. |
| Mark McNabb | Commitment and Focus |
| B.K. | We always made home-made cards for each other from all the old magazines laying around the house. I have never kept any store bought cards but the hand made ones I still have and they are true treasures. |
| kevin urenda | Me |
| kevin urenda | "lovers"[[http://www.angelfire.com/ky/petposey/rbpilld/lovers.html]] by Richard Brautigan |
| Angel | <html> <body> <center>HOW DO I LOVE THEE</center><br><p> Sonnets from the Portuguese XLIII How do I love thee ? Let me count the ways.<br> I love thee to the depth and breadth and height<br> My soul can reach, when feeling out of sight<br> For the ends of Being and ideal Grace.<br> I love thee to the level of everyday's<br> Most quiet need, by sun and candle-light.<br> I love thee freely, as men strive for Right;<br> I love thee purely, as they turn from Praise.<br> I love thee with the passion put to use<br> In my old griefs, and with my childhood's faith.<br> I love thee with a love I seemed to lose<br> With my lost saints,--I love thee with the breath,<br> Smiles, tears, of all my life !--and, if God choose,<br> I shall but love thee better after death.<br> <p> Elizabeth Barrett Browning </body> </html> |
| Misti | Annabel Lee by Edgar Allen Poe |
| sweetness | Misti beat me to it, my favorite is Annabel Lee by Edgar Allen Poe, a close second is Spanish Steps by Rod McKuen. A lot of people say he writes schmaltz, but it is damned romantic schmaltz! |
| Tanqueray Cowboy | Off the top of my head... "O, were I Loved As I Desire To Be" - Tennyson |
| B.K. | Pablo Neruda of course but I can't remember the title. I like the love poems of Rumi too. |
| Mark McNabb | i carry your heart (by e. e. cummings) |
| Rhetoric | This was a hard question. My mood leans me towards different verse, depending on the intensity of the day. I would have to say that on any given day: “Thy Fingers make early flowers” by ee cummings or “Witch-Wife” by Edna Millay would top my list. Witch-Wife isn't a traditional romantic, but the illusiveness of woman is romantic to me. |
| Kirk | Jack Gilbert, "The Forgotten Dialect of the Heart" http://www.loveblender.com/1997september/review.html |
| Max-Rom | The most romantic poem I have read is Sonnet XVII, by the enigmatic Pablo Neruda. It really touches the heartstrings. |
| Misti | my mom, husband, brother, sister, father-in-law, Kurt Vonnegut, Patti Smith, Michael Stipe, Erica Jong and Angelina Jolie!!! And I'd pick Fisherman's Wharf to cater it. Oh, and two white chocolate raspberry cheesecakes from the Olive Garden. That would be fun. |
| Mark McNabb | Muhammad Ali Bruce Lee Harry Houdini Jesus H. Christ William S. Burroughs Harpo Marx Greta Garbo Catherine Deneuve Lucinda Williams Jackie Kennedy Onassis |
| Just Some Girl | Lewis Carroll Queen Elizabeth I Man Ray Sarah Bernhardt Zelda Fitzgerald Vita Sackville-West My paternal grandmother Anais Nin Peter Krause Peter the Great |
| Violet | My fiance, my mother, my maternal great grandmother,my best friend (who feels almost like family) Jewel, Audrey Hepburn, Ella Fitzgerald, George Clooney, Billie Holiday, and Louis Armstrong. We would gather round a table of desserts and tropical drinks, listen to jazz music, talk about love and life... and laugh a lot. :-) |
| B.K. | 1. Carl Sagan 2. Joseph Campbell 3. John Lennon 4. Henry Miller 5. Deepak Chopra 1. Mother Teresa 2. Princess Di 3. Elizabeth 1st 4. Jane Austin 5. Cleopatra |
| dev0n | tough one! 1. my wonderful man 2. my mother 3. my grandmother 4. misti 5. james van der beek (of Dawson's Creek fame) 6. leonard cohen 7. markus naslund (captain of my favorite hockey team) 8. eric s raymond (open source software spokesman) 9. yo yo ma 10. prince charles |
| Ali | 1)Mae West 2)Audrey Hepburn 3)George Clooney 4)My best friend 5)Eric Stoltz 6)My maternal grandmother 7)Matthew Perry 8)Carl Jung 9)My Mom 10)Ella Fitzgerald |
| Kirk | Mo, Dylan, Sarah, Kim, Daniel Dennet, Richard Dawkins, Marvin Minsky, Salmon Rushdie, Alan Greenspan, Bill Clinton |
| Rhetoric | Today, I would choose: 3 pals from home, Drew Barrymore, Jennifer Lopez (strictly eye candy), Edna Millay, Ronald Reagan, Dr. David Satcher, Phil Hartman, and Mark Mothersbaugh. Tomorrow, who knows the type of people I will want in my house? |
| scqueen | After crashing Kirk's dinner party...I'd invite Josephine Bonaparte, and Napoleon,(if he can behave) Madonna, Kiss (that's 4), Prince, Emily Dickinson and Courtney Love. |
| scqueen | Oh, and if Napoleon can't make it, Nina Simone would be nice. |
| Mark McNabb | too long |
| Misti | Seven hours. Stars to sunrise. |
| Sati | Four hours and twenty three mins, what a night |
| MichaelT() | five hours or three years depending on what you think the definition of beginning and ending is...I used to talk to her in my sleep |
| kevin urenda | so far... two and a half delicious hours |
| TJ Holland | Just over 8 hours. I was in British Columbia, he in Seattle. We talked for 5 1/2 hours, listened to each other breathe for about 30 minutes and fell asleep for 2 hours! Laughed our butts off about that, till he got the bill! |
| Me aka Niki | I think it was just about 6 hours.. |
| Kirk | Oh, who knows, probably some of the endless blathering on and on in high school. Most romantic was probably telling my cross-town girlfriend to go look up at the moon at the same time, it was really big and pretty that night. |
| Savannah Haze | The night that I told a lover that it was over. He called me around 5:30 PM to tell me that he (once again) couldn't come and see me because he had to "work late" (read: he got too drunk after work to drive down to my apartment). He said I love you... I couldn't say it back. I have rules about doing that stuff over the phone but it just happened that way. We hung up on each other several times but would call back in moments. I think the "conversation" finally ended around 1:30. And... to top it off... I was on my CELL PHONE. |
| TJ Holland | Last night....7 HOURS! I cannot believe how incredible this guy is! What does it mean when you're usually a very pragmatic person but all of a sudden you can't get a guy out of your head??! SCARY! |
| sweetness | 7 hours...from 7 p.m. to 2 a.m., then he decided he had to see me, and drove 45 minutes to my house....that was an amazing night. The romance was short-lived, but it was intense. |
| scqueen | Kisses on my ear and neck - and yes, I get extra points :-) |
| Misti | when he tickles my butt (he knows this) |
| Kirk | More sexual than romantic (maybe melts is the wrong word)-- women in tanktops. And yeah I think Mo's figured it out. |
| TJ Holland | When his lips are lightly touching my neck while his nose is just behind my ear and he breathes deeply and whispers to me. But we're WAAAY too new for him to get THAT close! :-) |
| Violet | When he's driving, and drumming on the steering wheel, chewin' a piece of gum... *sigh* It gets me every time. (it's even better when he's wearing his leather jacket!) |
| kevin urenda | If I were answering the way KIRK did... um, no, I won't... :-D Melts me on the spot? Hmmm. I would have to say... when that soft, easy smile dissolves into a loving, then lustful stare... mmm yeah. Right on the spot. |
| sweetness | Hard, hard kisses on my neck....almost like a Hoover....and it never takes my men long to figure that out! |
| Jon | When she sucks on her index finger when she is thinking about something that either confuses her or excites her. God it gets me every time, it's sooooo cute and sexual at the same time, and, no, she doesn't know. |
| B.K. | When I can tell just by the sound of his voice that he wants me, misses me , loves me. It makes me crazy with desire. Yes, he knows, I think he feels it too. |
| pepper | hmm... when she arches her back... then relaxes, stretches and makes the cutest squeel... man-o-man it kills me! :-D She definately has that one figured out ;-) |
| Angel | When he slowly backs me to a wall while kissing me...hand roaming freely across my back and backside...and I can sense his arousal by his heated breathe on my neck and lips...and then it takes hold of me as he gently sucks on my tongue and lower quivering lip...'til I am MELTED! ~WOW~ And , yes, he does know this;) |
| Mark McNabb | INTEGRITY and HONOR (however expressed) No extra points...she never figured it out. |
| Kendra143 | Wow, reading all these responses has given my a couple new 'secret things' I think! I'm all puddles when he applies a little pressure, whether it be holding me tightly or kissing me like he just can't help himself... |
| Laurel Ahlfeld | mmm, a guy that can get past all my quirks is a good start but that takes a while. As for melting instantly, it'd have to be someone that can sing to me(not just at me) while looking me in the eyes so I know he means it. |
| varda | A surprise |
| Lemac | WIT and HONESTY (no points, he lacked both) |
| SlickDick | There's this thing that she does. Flutters her eyelashes against my frank while stroking my beans with her acrylic nails. Gets me everytime. She really is quite a woman. |
| ~*Truelies*~ | The smell of cigarete smoke on his denim jacket. |
| Ali | Hell yes! And I'll even give you his name...It's Craig. And I wince(on the inside) even when people say "Greg" because it sounds similiar. I get so annoyed with myself when I do that... |
| Just Some Girl | No. But each time I see someone with a similar appearance, I get what feels like an electric current through the heart. |
| Kendra143 | Awh, Ali! That's so sad, and just a little funny, which makes it worse. I know how you feel! The guy for me, he hurt me so many times...and I kept getting drawn in. He has one of the most popular guy names around, and whenever I hear it I imagine him...and I've strained my neck and followed people around more than once, thinking/hoping it was him. Worst of all, we still share aquaintances, and I hear about his comings and goings and it rips me apart. And my new guy knows. |
| sweetness | Rob. It's the name of both my ex-husband, and the married man I recently broke up with. It's gotten so if I meet a man and he says his name is Rob, I say, forget it right then and there! I will not be "Robbed" of my heart again! |
| Echolocation | No. However, a friend of mine has developed a theory, based on her own past experience, that one should never date a man whose name is a verb (e.g., Pat, Rob, Bill). I believe "Greg" was recently made an "honorary verb." |
| Ophelia | A German man I used to work with at a restaurant, I married him to get him his green card. I didn't really know about his past, and what he was really capable of until it was too late. Fortunately I don't hear the name Marek too often, but even as I type this I feel the most awful sadness and disappointment and for how much of myself I have given away to evil men and women and can never recover. |
| B.K. | Nope, just forgive and go on, don't look back and take everyone as individuals that they are. It's too much baggage to remember pain and suffering of any kind. ha Besides I'm saving it all for the book where they will be roasted with glee and new names.ha |
| CAgirl | Nope - well, there is the first guy who broke my heart, but his name is the same as my dad's, so there's no charge there. But once (several years later) I thought I saw him at a store and my heart started beating so fast I thought it was going to explode! |
| Misti | The name Jay sucks for me. I knew a kid named Jay when I was four. He lived next door. He was weird. He was always bullying me. Then there was Chef Jay. I've written many bitter poems about Chef Jay. Then there was Co-Worker Jay. Star photographer. What a jerk. Extremely anal retentive and rude. So if I meet someone named Jay I have to wonder about the guy. Nothing good can come from a name like that. Oh! But my cousin Karen's high school boyfriend was named Jay and he was cool. He cracked me up. He had a twin named Dee. They were hilarious. So I've known one cool guy named Jay. |
| galadrial | OH YEAH...creepy, psycho little shit...and i will take his name to my grave...he doesn't deserve to be named... |
| Me aka Niki | There's this one name that broke my heart over and over I used to hate that name and then new year I kissed a guy withthe same name!! ironic but it lasted for a month..pretty long for my standards..and it was good...He ended it yesterday (he just can't commit) with both of us crying..But I have a new special friend... |
| BlueDenim | Yep, he was a charmer, and a crazy man now I hate the name Jim/James... I had a conversation with a friend one night about baby names, and she said she liked the name James, but quickly added she could see why I'd never name my child that. |
| TJ Holland | YES! YES! YES! Oh, the PAIN! His name is Sean and I've NEVER been devastated by anyone the way I've been devastated by him! To the point of wondering if I'll EVER trust again! And I DID meet another Sean. He saw me wince when he told me his name and figured out why real fast. I laughed about it, but still haven't been able to get over the name thang. |
| Kirk | Rebekah I suppose. One of the scars is that, since she tended to become very unresponsive to emails and the like when our relationship was on the low part of its cycle, I get kind of jumpy to this day if someone doesn't respond to e-mail. |
| Hopeful | Argh!!! Right now...I definitely know that feeling!!! And I never even knew how many David's were out there. This is a first for me... |
| kevin urenda | since Kendra mentioned it... the name is Deborah and all its variants (cringe). |
| Chantal | Yes, the name Jeff actually scares me so much that I can never be friends with a guy that has the same name. It sends shivers up my spine and makes my tummy feel sick!!! |
| jackryhme | hmm... lee... who was korean, stole my life for a time as well as my mind, my heart was incidental to this mina... from Mexico... took from me my innocence at a ripe old age of twelve ... she was seventeen dallas ... blackfoot indian... still my first truest love, sank six inches of blade into her lovers back.. tammy... played me against my brother, whilst still in love with me i think... diane.. of the Philippians... had something to show me ... after more than a year of being away.. i ran as fast as i could the other way.. the first moment i got the chance beth.. at a time when i was new to love... her family came in the way not so much caring for my trailer trash ways... to name a few ... so very few of all of them and of each a wince and remembrance jackryhme, it dosent matter, another, lost4me, greysky,beforedawn, nothing, bacardi, blue song and probably a few i have forgotten, sorry but i seem to be a fractured mess... lol ... anyways, cheers to life, it can be for more than it seems... |
| sweetness | Oddly enough my answer is the same as to the last question...Rob. My heart does this leap into my throat when I hear his name, but then suddenly plummets..... |
| Ali | I'm going to have to say yes...And I've always thought it strange that it always seems to be the ones who break our heart, have our heart... Sweetness, you described the feeling well...the heart leaping and then plummeting... |
| Kendra143 | Yeah, same guy that was my answer to the last survey question...silly jerk! Despite all of his issues, and the awful way in which he dumped all of his issues on me...I feel like I'd take him in a second if he ever came back. Maybe I'm the silly jerk... |
| Violet | Funny, that's exactly how I feel about my fiance... even his NAME lights up a room for me. :-) |
| akane23 | Michael and I had the kind of love one only experiences once in a lifetim... a complete intertwining of souls.. which was interrupted by day to day reality. It's been several years since we were together, and we're still friends who e-mail one another. I so carry a torch for him that merely seeing his screen name on my monitor causes my breath to catch in my throat and my heart to pound so loudly it can nearly be heard by the naked ear. |
| Galadrial | Steves can still bring me to my knees... |
| wordley | Dear B.K.And Just A girl, Thank you for your comments, I have 34 poems altogether, some sad (divorce does that you know,)but mostly happy. You can have the happy ones!!! My love to you both |
| wordley | My dearest Lesley, A friend who can be no more than the lover in my soul, as I am in hers,love's sweetest angel and in my heart forever |
| kevin urenda | yes... and I'll NEVER tire of hearing her name... |
| Violet | My fiance and I make a lot of random special days through out the year... but I am sucker for romance, and I strongly feel that Valentine's Day should be celebrated with effort, creativity and a lot of love. :-) What can I say... I love to be pampered! :-P |
| Kirk | Mo and I aren't big "days" people, though we make some effort for the big holidays. |
| TJ Holland | I can't say that St.Valentine's Day is very important to me at all. It bugs me that people expect their lover to go all out on that day, and if they don't then that person feels unloved or even spiteful. I think those people ought to pay more attention to the things that reflect REAL love. Those things are there to be seen every day, and if they're not...well then, one day a year ain't gonna make up for it, Pookie. |
| scqueen | I second that exactly, TJ! |
| B.K. | I don't think it takes presents but a gourmet meal, a bottle of wine, some music and a little rug cutting across the living room floor, a little romance is always nice no matter what day it is. (Valentines Day, Ground Hog Day, You woke up breathing day, any excuse day. Seize the moment and make it yours. Keep Love Alive! |
| kevin urenda | Never really celebrated V-day... Have *tried* to make other days special... |
| scqueen | Hmmm...Kev? Maybe we sould change "V-day" to Virgo day. Now wouldn't that be romantic.... |
| deevaa | since Valentines day is also the day we made a committment to each other, we HAVE to celebrate it! |
| Hopeful | Amen to BK. I can't understand why people ever let the "in love" feeling go...and I guess I can't wholly support a day like V-day when couples slack off on the other 364...Stay in bed and make love on the early a.m of June 5th...make dinner together on January 20th...slow dance in the living room on October the 17th...you get the picture. Of course, that's just my opinion. |
| Misti | We give in to the hype. Chris gave me a devil Snoopy holding a heartshaped box of chocolates and I was thriLLed to my toenails. Of course other days are special! We're always givin' each other little surprises. I guess some people only express their love on Valentine's Day. But they're probably the same people who read all the books that Oprah recommends. |
| GOOD idea, scqueen! deevaa - GOOD for YOU guys! |
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| kevin urenda | (whoops - that was me) GOOD idea, scqueen! deevaa - GOOD for YOU guys! |
| wistful | I never have cared much for Hallmark holidays, but I have never been in love like this before! We do special things for each other all the time, but it was a wonderful "excuse" to have a dozen chocolate-covered strawberries delivered to his work. Now his office-mates thinks he's a stud, which I, of course, knew all along! |
| TJ Holland | I don't like speaking or hearing babytalk between lovers. It has never turned me on. |
| Ali | To be honest, I think that baby is best left to babies... But that's just me... You know this question reminded me of a TV comercial, and of course I can't remember what it was for. There was a mom who just couldn't stop talking baby talk...Drat it, now this is gonna bug me! |
| deevaa | I don't talk baby talk to my child, why would I talk to my sweetheart like that? I'd rather see a little PDA (not gross OTT PDA) than baby talk, but then... if it works for you... |
| Randy1 | I, myself think that itis sweet. But when it stops I think it is sad. It usually indicates a change in attitude between people in love. |
| Kirk | Mo and I don't have much truck with it |
| Hopeful | Oooohh Ali- its the one where the woman's husband comes home and she is talking baby talk to him and he takes her to the opera/symphony whatever. I don't know what it is for either but I know EXACTLY what you mean. Darn it. |
| scqueen | No baby talk, but we do have our own 'language' - most are made up words or phrases from inside jokes. We don't do it in public. We do call each other 'Marty' a lot - from the old joke ... 'What do you want to do?" "I don't know, Marty, what do you want to do?" People look at us strange sometimes when that slips out :-) |
| B.K. | If it's something impromptu, and it happens in public so be it, but all the time, no thanks. In private well of course if that's what you like. Baby talk is not quite my style except as a joke perhaps or playing |
| B.K. | I just realized, my poems are my Baby talk to him. SIGH! |
| wistful | Hearing other people baby talk activates my gag reflex, but somehow, the baby talk slips out to my sweetie in private. Oh, and sometimes to my best friend, because it activates *his* gag reflex, and I like to push his buttons . . . ;-p |
| Violet | baby talk kind of pisses me off. it's an unexplained phenomenon. |
| Misti | We're guilty of it. Chris told me last night that he likes me better as a five year old. Dangerous territory, I realize. Electra complex and alla that. (sigh) |
| kylie | A sweater, just so I could wrap around someone and keep them warm... :) |
| Feena Mint | A Fresh Pair of White Cotton Panties |
| Max-Rom | I would be a nice down comforter lined with velvet. |
| Violet | I (Violet aka: Kiwi) would be the indespensible little black dress. Can't go wrong with a classic. ;-) |
| sweetness | a snug pair of Calvin Klein boxer briefs cause then I could hold ALL the good stuff tight! |
| Jon | Any of Jennifer Lopez's clothes...hey...she's hot. :-) |
| deevaa | something splattered with paint - probably a big white shirt covered in paint. Quirky. |
| Ali | A little red dress with spaghetti straps, and a criss-cross back... |
| Misti | I would be my husband's red Dollar General t-shirt. He'd wear me all the time, even to bed, and I'd be close to his heart. And I would smell really good. |
| Hopeful | I would have to be worn in, stonewashed, very low rise jeans. Sexy and comfortable ;) |
| Rhetoric | Since Feena Mint already got white cotton panties and Misti, too, has her husbands fave t-shirt (I would have found either of those perfect as well), I must now take my third choice - my over-sized red and orange flannel shirt that I sleep, clean, and do just about everything else in. It is the warmest, softest article of clothing I own. That is how I like to think of myself - soft, warm, comforting, and a bit worn around the edges! |
| TJ Holland | Boots. A pair of black leather Doc Martin boots. |
| Kirk | Woman's Tank Top. Maybe one of those white ribbed ones... |
| scqueen | ...that belonged to Madonna, Kirk? :-) |
| scqueen | I'd be a pair of tennis shoes. Not keen on stinky feet, but would love to be a fast runner. |
| B.K. | Frence Black lace thigh high silk stockings that you wear with garters. |
| B.K. | 1AM and typing is tricky "French" is the word |
| Vishal | Anything worn by Angelina Jolie in Tomb Raider, groan. |
| Just Some Girl | A silk Hermes scarf stretched jauntily across the throat of a virgin. |
| purpleblots | a really worn out jeans |
| shushlove | an olive-green floppy beret left behind in a love hotel |
| ~*Truelies*~ | I'd be my bf's soft, sage green jumper, with high neck and sleeves too long. It's so comfortable and it suits him so well. I'd love ppl to look at me and say 'suits you'. |
| hollymccormick | A really cute, stylish hat. |
| beyond_different | hmm..good question..a kevlar vest...i know too many police officers who are good friends...i would want to be there to protect them... |
| Misti | Yep. Happened for me. |
| sweetness | No...it's possible to plant the seed but you can't really know til your face to face whether there is any physical chemistry, and to me that is an inportant facet of love. |
| B.K. | The eyes are easily blinded but the heart knows! |
| TJ Holland | I have been so fascinated by a person by their thoughts alone (written into words to me or spoken over the wires), that I felt a STRONG draw to them. I have thought of them upon rising, day dreamed of them through out the day, and had my last thought before sleep be of them. I have craved them, called them, and created an image of who I think they are. I have had thoughts of sharing my life with them, based solely on the words and writing we've shared. But I say this...TRULY loving someone encompasses ALL facets of KNOWING who they are. That cannot be achieved by words alone. Touch, energy, and deeds make up a large part of loving someone. Without those things (and others not mentioned here) there is simply the fascination, the intrigue. And that MAY grow into true love when the other facets are experienced. A tree is not it's leaves. It is also the trunk, the branches and it's very deep roots. |
| ~*Truelies*~ | I think you can fall for someone before you meet, but I think love requires true knowledge of a person. You can only get that face to face - like all their manerisms and stuff. |
| Kirk | Few things are impossible, but I think few people are truly able to brush aside the brute nature of physical attraction. I suspect the first face to face meeting is a real trial by fire for most relationships that have their roots in some long distance format. |
| Ophelia | You are all idiots. |
| Sushi | OFFELLIACK: Who Died AND MADE YOU GOD??? |
| jackryhme | yes i think it could happen but a leval of honesty must be kept for it to be true love.... Ophelia... i think this responce of yours needs no clarification of your emotional state... some that hurt try to hurt others ... but trust me in the fact i dont realy care for you |
| Galadrial | Worked for Susan Barrett Browning, works for me..... |
| Violet | Anything is possible... but I really think that a person's true spirit is reflected face to face. It's easier to pretend on paper. I'm no expert though... my one and only "real love" happened face to face. |
| hollymccormick | No, I don't think so, true love requires more than just words. There has to be an attraction of some kind for it to be real. |
| redsrus2 | Yes, I think one can fall "in love" before one meets someone face to face. The true question should be whether one can truly love another before meeting face to face. |
| Ophelia | You all are still a bunch of e-diots. |
| B.K. | I think that you can truly love and be loved by someone that you may or may not ever see in your life. Love has many levels and many facets and there is no armor for the heart as far as love is concerned. Anyone saying we are idiots has to be a cold, hard boiled, bucket of lard. |
| kevin urenda | My perspective is different, for I know of 'relationship' through the written word far before the advent of the personal computer... I do think it is entirely possible. Although I do also think (much like Kirk) that there is no denying the force of chemistry in the physical realm. There is no way to duplicate the senses in real time. Real love must exist in body as well as mind, heart and spirit. I do think, though, for most people, the first F2F meeting merely cements what is already there... |
| TheOtherGirl | i once had a relationship that started with icq, but it didnt last because there were *lies*, more of them communicated over the internet. love seems more sincere if u get to meet the person first before any declaration of love. that way, u wont punish ur self *committing* to a *love* u said thru internet, and then feel a little differently if you met in person. happend to me before. i dont want to appear bad, retracting my words, but then the truth comes out later on. there is nothing more reliable than meeting the person, be it relationships or business. |
| Ophelia | Idiots one and all. I rest my case. |
| TJ Holland | Please do. |
| Ophelia | TJ Holland (ha ha) - u act like you spent the night in a cell in the arms of a big smelly bulldyke named "Ruby June" and you just can't get over it! Get over it! Is u is o is u ain't MY baby, baby? |
| Ophelia | Here is my final answer to the Survey Question - http://www.young-nudist.01-hardcore-sex.com/ |
| jackryhme | people fall in love so many differnt ways ... why should the internet be thought of as differnt? |
| RedFoxPuppy | YES :)))) I was in love!! before i ever met her face to face. When i did met her face to face *WOW*..thats all i will say:))))) Going on 3 years now |
| angel | Ohhhhh yes! And not only can they fall in love ,but to a depth unbekownst to those relationships HINDERED by the presense of the physical. I did a psycology thesis on this very topic...Absence of one sense tends to heighten others...Blind have keener hearing...deaf have keener sight...etc. So the absense of the physical in a relationship sharpens the other senses and allows for a much deeper mental relationship. And we know that love and sex are about 98% mental. The physical lags far behind but it feeds off the mental. That is why sex between true lovers is soooo much better than a one night stand. I believe I speak from wisdom of research as well as experience on this one;) |
| Alabama Beggs | No. Physical attraction (especially scent) is so important that love is not possible without it. |
| HoosierDaddy | When I first seen my girl Opheilia I knew right off she was it for me. Not only did she give me a boner she made my heart beat faster and my forehead sweat. She will deny it but roses dont lie niether do cell phones. |
| TJ Holland | I don't have a spouse/lover/SO per se. I write for various people, some of them I have a romantic interest in, others are friends, and I have been known to write one or two for people I have yet to meet. I have found that people are exceptionally touched when they have something written for them. |
| hollymccormick | I find that I usually write more when I am in love than at any toher times in my life. So yes, almost everything I write is for Beau. (Not all, but most). And yes he enjoys it b/c he has no writing ability at all. |
| kylie | Yes, I do write for him, but he's only seen a few of the pieces I've done. I am working on a larger scale project, and he does see that. Like Holly's SO, he likes it because he doesn't have that talent. |
| Violet | Yes, I write for him often (though not always... sometimes I write about the past, or fictional things) He is my biggest inspiration. ;-) He seems to like my poetry, or else he's a really good liar. :-P |
| B.K. | I only write for me..ha He loves my writing, encourages it and he's the reason I started writing. (He writes ten times better than I do!) |
| Misti | I write for myself, but my husband's feedback means a lot. When we first met online we had fun writing poems for each other. I wish Chris would write more. He's the most talented writer I've ever known. |
| Ophelia | Yes; Sometimes |
| HoosierDaddy | Well you wrote something for ME once, do you remember that? Its okay I'm not hurt or anything, I just don't "understand". Theres a lot I do'nt understand but your at the top of the list. |
| Just Some Girl | I used to but I'm not the same girl anymore...Now I write for myself. |
| jackryhme | hmm well... wife is chinese, and we have spent the last 8 years learning her english, but she still cannot understand it well enough to understand what i write so... lol as if many can... ah well... |
| kevin urenda | I used to... with decidedly mixed results. It usually did not elicit the anticipated response, which means, I think, that it was not always enjoyed... |
| eat u sleep u dream u | I prefer to live out loud (Emile Zola). I do not know (or care) if anyone enjoys my writing, I am not in need of another person's praise or critiques. That is not what writing is about. |
| Anita Gangbang | What a boring question... |
| Jon | I don't really know. I think I write just to write...not sure. |
| TJ Holland | I Need A Gang Bang ~ don't you mean, "What an Idiot question."? |
| HoosierDaddy | I think she meant what a boring question. Come to think of it, what boring answers. Including my own. |
| Duke | Absolutely, There are truly few moments in a romantic relationship, whether newly established or perhaps more important, in one of maturity, which are as meaningful or cherished as when a little note left on a nightstand or dining room table, express love/desire/clever hints of anticipation to your Other. Flowers may be purchased, as items of jewelry and other expected markers of one's love, but well-chosen words addressed to your lover and her alone are significantly more rewarding. |
| wistful | I express my love for him, TO him in every way I can: writing poems for him, singing to him, cooking, laughter and silence, et al. And he appreciates each expression, treating each one with wonder, as if we were discovering each other for the first time. |
| Briana Kassia | I do, sort of. V doesn't really get most of the stuff I do, (sometimes working as a filidhe in the old Irish tradition can be hard... obscurity dogs your every step) and then V takes some of the stuff I throw together for fun all the wrong way : thought Fire and Ice was *directed* at her... sigh... But she is my muse, and similar to Eochaidh o hEusaidh's situation with his patron the macGuire, five centuries ago, my meagre craft is not yet up to the task of praising her. But I'm working on it. :) Briana Kassia |
| Savannah Haze | Of course I write for him. Does he know? Nope, but I write for him. Sadly, the lovers in my life don't generally see what I write until AFTER we are no longer. |
| kirk | Not much. Why write when you can talk? Or something like that; I've written more while pining away than I have when in a happy relationship |
| Misti | Internet relationships are so odd. I had just "met" Chris online and we had been talking on the phone and sending letters and cards back and forth. It was pretty much established that we would be together eventually. I flirted with another guy online and went so far as to give the other guy my phone number. I told Chris about it after we met in person and it hurt him deeply. I still feel that it was a sleazy thing to do, even though nothing ever came of it. |
| Briana Kassia | I've lied. Thing is, I've been called on iot, and given the most gentle opportunities to admit my sin, but... I don't. I cling to those dark secret untruths, as if they mattered more than the one I love. And I am ashamed, because as a poet, I think part of my calling is to be honest, to speak the truth as I see it and show others the clear purity of it. Uh-oh, feeling a poewm coming on... :) |
| Kirk | I was going out with J for way too long. This was in high school. I had just gone on a week long trip to Boston with the jazz band and was completely falling in love with the german Veronika. I brought J back a plastic lobster and gave it to her and broke up with her later that day, I think in a note. I regret the way I handled it, but given what I was feeling for Veronika, don't regret the thing as a whole. More recently, I regret panicking Mo, staying out playing the videogame "Worms Armegeddon" at a friend's birthday party til 5 or 6 in the morning. I wasn't planning to be out so long, wouldn't bother calling at 1 or 2am, and by 3am I figured it would be too late and she'd already be asleep. She was in a bit of a crying panic when I got back...I have a cellphone now. |
| Jon | The worst thing I did to a lover and something I regret..hmm.. I never told her that I loved her. "Looking back, I have this to regret, that too often when I loved, I did not say so."-David Grayson |
| sweetness | I routinely lie about how many partners I have had. No man wants to hear that I used to have an appreciation for one-night stands in the days when I hated myself. I recount anything they want to know about significant relationships, but the one night boys stay hidden. |
| jackryhme | i think this still fits... i sat her down and told her she had cancer think about it... |
| Ali | I never told him exactly how I felt...I danced around it, but never came out and said it...I guess that I was afraid... |
| Just Some Girl | The worst thing possible...leaving to be with another person. |
| Ophelia | Poor old Todd...er, umm - poor old Jim... |
| Ophelia | ...er, is it John, or Mark, or Julie Steaks or another lesbo in Austin?, jimminy crickets, I cain't a 'keep up wif em all...Peter Krow-suh, perhaps? You man eater you! But girls taste better, no? Oh to fall in love without ever meeting! Forever entangling poor self-image and low-to-no self-esteem, online and in the real world, in a multitude of identities neatly compartmentalized - with an airbrushed NOTHING IS SPECIAL painted just under your heart... "Avoid Fuck Ups...FUs, I call 'em." - Uncle Bill |
| wordley | After HOURS of trying to get in her pants at our first meeting, gave her my friend's cell-phone no. BASTARD!!!.... they had the most AMAZING sex ever ( I saw the photos !!!) Must have been my deodorent!! |
| kylie | I dumped him on Valentine's day. He was standing there with flowers and chocolate and I was standing opposite him saying it was over. And that I had to meet his best friend later that night... Like it couldn't have waited until February 15th |
| Rhetoric | I think the worst thing I have ever done to a partner (happened on more than one occasion) is to bail when I feel scared that I am falling in love. I have missed out on many a wonderful future because I didn't want to loose control over my emotions. |
| R. Stonecloud | Too many times I've believed the grass was greener, and walked away without regard for his feelings. And each time I discovered I was wrong, he was there to take me back. I almost made the biggest mistake of my life by marrying someone else....fortunately I realized that I would forever regret walking away from the person that I truely want to spend the rest of my days with. I only wish I had grown up sooner. |
| Gorgon | A tall, strong man with facial hair...cupping his face in my hands, lightly grazing his eye brows, nose, cheeks, chin with my finger tips... our eyes constantly locked, even as we moved together to touch lips. The I would lick his eye lashes. |
| Kirk | "Just put your lips together... ...and blow." No wait that's how I'd whistle... nevermind. |
| Misti | Elvis Presley in the Jungle Room at Graceland, circa 1962. It would just be me and Elvis and the Memphis Mafia. Elvis would be so impressed by my kissing skills that he'd fly me to Vegas for a weekend of gaudy glamor. |
| Jon | Ashley Judd. Any time. Any place. |
| Galadrial | Oh Boy...make sure my hair is pinned up...then look him in the eyes as i let it down---the minute the last bit hits my shoulders, look down...and wait to see if he makes me look him in the eye again...the man knows who. Anytime...and the where isn't near as important as the who... |
| Rhetoric | I am not feeling too original today, so I will place a trailer on Gorgon's answer (I hope he/she doesn't mind). I guess I would have to agree with everything that was said...tall man with facial hair, cupping my face, and licking the eyelashes. However, I would demand that the kiss took place after that very man had lapped up all my love juices for approximately 20 minutes! I know, dirty, twisted not a very G-rated answer - but true. |
| Violet | The best way to kiss... in the corner of a dark, crowded room. I'd pull him close, and lean in to feel his breath. We'd stay in this electric pause for what seems like hours... and then I'd bite into his lower lip, and proceed from there... Yum. |
| wordley | Geena Davis, post-molecular conversion, the set of the movie 'The Fly', just about to put her in the teleportation pod: Oh shit, i'd melt her face, wouldn't I??? |
| Lydia | I love tender, soft kisses that progress to urgent, unashamed declarations of desire. I want the connection between us still very electric and tense; like the days after meeting and spending large amounts of time with another, yet unable to express your feelings. Then, all at once you can release your desires. The place and the person are subject to change. |
| sweetness | My favorite kisses are the ones that take you by surprise....first kisses usually..when he walked in the door, put his hands on his hips and stood there just looking at me for what seemed like forever...and he ground out "God, I missed you" and swept me off my feet, into his arms and into the most urgent, salacious kiss of my life.... |
| wordley | Actually, and to be serious for a moment; who EVER it is i'm kissing, it starts slow; lips together, then slowly part as our tongues come together in a sweet osmosis of our two desires, a melting of borders until we become one and then we...Oh shit, it's so easy to get carried away!! |
| B.K. | The First Kiss The intense chemistry Would shoot sparks Making me blush crimson Then slowly Lifting my face to his touch Softly and tenderly (Have Mercy!) In a slow crescendo Of long awaited desire All the doors and windows In the room would burst From all the ecstatic kinetic energy created Actually it’s Andrea Bocelli and I on top Of the Leaning Tower of Pisa lip locked Till the tower falls. bk |
| Oft felt | hmmm first kiss... draw together of two bodies that need while the world screams this cannot be desire held in check till one quakes like dying of a thirst one must slake as forbidden lips first feel the heat from partnered lips slow draw to meet dry...soft... a tremble first the contact so very gentle.... till bodies mold hard together passion'd hands ..... well i think we get the point.... |
| eat u sleep u dream u | don't write about it, JUST DO IT |
| Jon | Believe me, if I could I most certainly would. :-) |
| Misti | Scratch my original answer. I would kiss my husband with PaSSion upon waking up each morning and upon going to sleep each night. I "just do it" just about daily. |
| Vishal | Claire Forlani, don't care where, as for how; you'll find out when the book comes out! |
| jimmyallgrownup | Well, this is kind of embarassing to admit, but I'd like to steal a kiss from mr. eat u sleep u dream u. :) He sounds like a real hunk. And YES I am a guy. I'm out and I'm proud (say it loud). But where? Hmm. The details will be between he and I. But on the lips, naturally. I am SO there. ggl. |
| Misti | This is my third and final answer, Regis. I would kiss Bruce Patman and say to hell with the paper cut. |
| Misti | 1. The scene in "Reality Bites" when Ethan Hawke apologizes to Winona Ryder and tells her he loves her. "All I Want is You" by U2 is playing. Powerful stuff. 2. The last scene in "An Officer and a Gentleman" when Richard Gere walks into the factory in his Navy class A's and puts his arms around Debra Winger then carries her away. 3. The scene in "She's So Lovely" when Sean Penn and Robin Wright Penn are dancing in the club in New York. |
| Cyan | The Movie: "Where the Heart Is" The scene: Novalee tells Forney she lied when she told him she didn't love him. |
| wordley | The film 'Ghost'... potter's wheel...Demi Moore & Patrick Swayze..."unchained melody" playing in the background |
| TJ Holland | Natural Born Killers: Mickey and Mallory are standing on the bridge. They marry each other right there. Just the two of them. Mallory's scarf is wrapping around her neck, blowing in the wind, in a pseudo-murderous way. Mickey is so turned on. Mallory says, "I love you Mickey." Mickey says, "I love you Mallory." |
| TJ Holland | Did you think I was serious?? Okay, here it is.... BraveHeart: William Wallace witnesses his love slain by the gutless Royal Guards. He rides into the village with his hands behind his head, in a display of surrender and supplication. In his mind he sees his love. Then he guts, slays and chops apart each and every slimy murderer he sees. Actually, the whole movie is romantic. |
| TJ Holland | Okay okay okay....enough blood and guts. Truly, the most romantic heartwrenching scene I think I've seen to date is in Gladiator as he lies dying. All the images that float through his mind. His wife, his children. Now and only now is he free of the lonliness and pain he has lived with for so long. Only now that he is joining them in death can he be with the woman and children that he loved so tenderly. Only now is their unjust death truly avenged. Ummmm....(just a *little* blood and guts) And THAT whole movie is romantic too. |
| sweetness | My all-time favorite is from a tv mini-series, but it's "The Thorn Birds" when Ralph chases Meggie down a beach and they fall onto the sand in a passionate embrace...and you know what happens next..... |
| wordley | Actually TEEJ you have jogged my memory with your "Gladiator' scene, I suddenly remembered that 'City of Angels', where Meg Ryan's character lay dying after being hit by a truck, and Nicholas Cage's character, the ex-angel, who had given up eternity to be with her, and now he was about to lose her,.... I'm big enough to say "I cried"!!...true, unconditional, if you love something, let it go love!!(sniff) Oh, talking of love, has anyone on the blender read the story of Elouise and Abelard...no?....you really should! |
| Caravan of Dreams | 1) anything between donna reed and jimmy stewart in its a wonderful life, 2) anything between the angel damiel and the trapeze artist marion in wings of desire - the movie they remade as city of angels, 3) the young lovers in a little romance - with a young diane lane and an old sir lawrence olivier |
| angieubaldo | my favorite romantic sceen is at the end of "theres something about mary," when Ted is leaving and all bawling, then Mary comes out calling his name, and then she says, "You forgot your keys...",then she says, "did you really mean what you said back there?" then Ted says, " I just want you to be happy Mary," then Mary says, "but i'd be happiest with you," then he says, "what about Bret Favrrrrea?" LOL. Then she says, "what did I tell you when we first met? i'm a niners fan!" And then they kiss and then that old guy tired to shoot Ted, and Magda says, "What are you doing?" and the old man says, "thats my girl hes kissing!" then magda says, "but you just slept with me?!?" and he says, "I was just boning you to get to mary!" LOL =) |
| Vishal | Man I've been waitin to answer this even before it was asked, okay 1) City Of Angels, the whole movie but if I had to choose, when he asks her to describe what a pear tastes like, and then later when he's buying pears after she dies. That expression on his face. An Angel In Agony, classic! Gonna think about the other 2 |
| wordley | The whole of 'What Dreams May Come' with Robin Williams...another one where I got 'something in my eye!'...sniff |
| Kendra143 | Ooooh, Vishal you definately stole one of my three...but here's one that comes recently to mind: "Life as a House", where Kevin Kline talks about how his ex-wife hated living in their old house, and she explains why she only hated the first and last year...and earlier, when they're driving and she is so completely annoyed at him, and he turns to her and tells her she's...what was it, "incredibly beautiful" (?). It's the frank honesty behind his words, long after their relationship is over that just kills me. |
| Jon | Naked Gun: When Lesie Nielsons character Frank breaks up with his g/f and right before he leaves he turns around and says; "Oh and just to let you know...I faked every orgasm." Classic. The Lady and the Tramp: that scene in the back alley where they chef gives them both a plate of spagetti and they both start to suck on the same noodle unaware of each other and then *SMACK* their lips meet. Sigh...I think I was a hopeless romantic from age five. This last one may seem silly (as if the others werent') but I love the movie Bubble Boy. I love the scene when Chole (Bubble Boy's love interest) is telling him that she is getting married and then she gives him a present and inside the present is a gift that says "I love you." and poor old Bubble Boy can't leave his bubble because he'll die and Chole is already on her way out to get married. Ahh...that still gets me. |
| Chrissy | I'm sure I'll remember another ...AHH...I just did! See what happens when you start to babble? 1) Singin' in the Rain -- When it was just revealed that Kathy was doing all the singing instead of What's Her Name(help me out) and she's running down the aisle and he yells "Stop that girl" and then sings to her. 2) The Princess Bride -- Any scene! Err...no. Specifically after Buttercup throws herself down the hill when she realizes it's Westley. He asks her if she can move and she says "You're alive. If you want I can fly." Sigh...what happened to chivalry? :o) |
| TJ Holland | I know I already had three, but there's TWO MORE that I forgot about that are incredible! 4. "Run Lola, Run" any interlude where Lola and Manni are lying in bed talking. Or when she is lying on the road (de ja vu in Princess & Warrior) and Manni is there. Or the scene with the song (composed by Tykwer and sung by Potente) where she sings "I wish I were a beating heart that never comes to rest." 5. "Princess and The Warrior" (same actress, Franka Potente, and writer/director, Tom Tykwer, as "Run Lola, Run") when Bodo saves Sissi's life under the semi-truck with tears rolling down his face even though he's not really crying and all Sissi's thoughts about this stranger are simultaneously spoken in her letter to Meinke. Then later when Bodo meets himself at the gas station and his 'self' gets in the drivers seat as he gets in the backseat. Bodo's un-cried tears again. The realization. The hands over the eyes. And Bodo finally lets himself out of the back seat of the car, gets in the front and drives away with Sissi, free to love her. Excellent! (sorry about the pre-info if you haven't seen the movie!) |
| Vishal | 2) Okay not a typical romantic movie, but, Goodwill Hunting. When Minnie Driver says to Matt Damon "It's not fair, I've been here 4 years, and I've only just found you" And he says, "But you found me" Hmmm, really gotta think about the last one. Only three? |
| Just Some Girl | 1.) Crispin Glover tells Lea Thompson she is his "density" in "Back to the Future." 2.) Pre-vampiric Gary Oldman lugs Winona Ryder's lifeless body to the alter to rebuke God for her death in "Bram Stoker's Dracula." 3.) John Cusack holds his boom-box to Ionie Sky's window playing "In Your Eyes" by Peter Gabriel in "Say Anything." |
| sweetness | Russell Crowe slaps Kim Basinger after he finds out she slept with his rival in "L.A. Confidential"...it's the vulnerability and the tears in this violent thugs eyes that get me.....what woman wouldn't want the awful power to hurt a man as tough as Officer Bud White? |
| Misti | Hey...what about the last scene in "Urban Cowboy" when Bud and Sissy are leavin' Gilley's? Bud's friend Marshall goes,"Hey, are you sure I can't buy you a beer?" Bud says,"No way. We're goin' home." Marshall: "Hell, I'll buy you two beers!" Bud just waves his hand and gets in the truck with Sissy. ((((sigh)))) And I still love the scene in "Grease" when John Travolta sees Olivia Newton John and does a double take and she says,"Tell me about it...stud." And that scene in "Singles" when the guy (I forget his name) goes,"What took you so long?" and Kyra Sedgwick goes,"I was stuck in traffic." Okay, I need to go to bed now. |
| Violet | 1) The last scene in My Fair Lady when Eliza comes back and says "I washed me face 'n 'ands before I come, I did." *big sigh* There is so much unspoken love in that scene. 2) In The Sound of Music (I know, I am musical crazy) where Maria and the Captain are in the gazeebo, admitting how much they love one another... "here you are, standing there, loving me..." *another big sigh* 3) The end of 'That Thing you do' when he asks Faye about the last time she was really truly kissed. Then he plants one on her to beat the band.... god i love that movie. 4) Yes, I'm naming four. If everyone else can cheat, so can I. George Clooney (mmmm) and Michelle Pfiefer in "One Fine Day" When he says "What would you do if I kissed you right now?" It makes me shiver to hear him speak those words. (Yeah, I'm a real big Clooney fan.) There are so many more... but those are the ones from the top of my head. Now you are all certain that I am the sap you expected me to be... *hangin' my head in shame* :-P |
| J-Dub | That's easy.......3)The diner scene from "When Harry met Sally" you know when Meg Ryan faked the orgasm to prove her point...that was classic. 2)Anytime that Jenna Jameson makes love on camara. People that know what I'm talking about...Know what I'm talking about.....that chick is bad and I mean bad in a good way. She's just thunder.....and #1)When the guy in casablanca walked of into the fog and said "This is could be the start of beautiful friendship" that's easily the most romantic scene from any movie. |
| Kirk | Huh, I'm surprisingly bad at thinking of anything really good for this. I guess I find most movie stuff a little too simple. Not immediately romantic, but a guy telling a story, from Cinema Paradiso: http://loveblender.com/prose/cinema.html I thought "Forces of Nature"'s final confrontation in the slowed down storm was great, especially since it went against the grain of where cliches say the movie is going. Also, the ending of "Henry and June", where Anais decides that her future is with Hugo, that there's more love there than with the furious passion with Henry or June. |
| Jennifer | Sweet November...the ending scene where she is telling him that she loves him but she wants him to remember her the way she is now, not when she is sick and on her last days, then she ties her scarf over his eyes and has him find her once more and he goes straight to the place she had stopped at and when he opens his eyes she is gone. Also the part where it's Thanksgiving and he comes in dressed as Santa with a bag full of gifts for her, wach one having a sentimental meaning that connects to something in the relationship. If you haven't seen it, I recommend it! |
| Jennifer | (in the first one, wach was meant to be each...lol) 2)Autumn In New York~almost the whole movie...after he cheats on her and he is talking to his friend about how he can't take it that she is dying, he couldn't handle losing her like that, and then when he goes back to her and then when he is trying so hard to find a doctor and then of course when he is decorating the Christmas tree and when he calls for her to come and look and she doesn't come...he goes looking for her and finds her laying on the floor and at the end when the music is playing and the doctor comes out and is talking to him, all you can hear is the music but the look on his face and his actions tell you the she died. (I hope everyone has already seen the movie, if not then I just told you the whole thing...I hate when that happens to me) |
| Vishal | I'm going to name four too, 3) Phenomenon, when John Travolta asks her "Do you think you could love me for the rest of my life?" And Kyra Sedgewick replies "No, but I will love you for the rest of mine!" Of course he is about to die from a brain tumour, but still. 4) Untamed Heart, Marisa Tomei is trying to convince Christian Slater to have a heart transplant and he refuses because "I love you with all of my heart, you are my peace" When she explains that the heart is not literally an organ of love (he's a little simple minded)he replies, "then why does it hurt so much here, when you're not with me." Beautiful film. |
| Jennifer | Vishal, you are so right about Untamed Hearts...I had forgotten all about that movie and it's one of my all time fav's! 3)Call me crazy, but Moulin Rouge....the part where Nicole Kidman and Ewan McGregor sung parts of several songs to make one love song, it was the best part of the movie. The other would be the end, where they finally have the play and Ewan is begging Nicole to explain to him why she said she loved him and then told him she didn't and it was all a lie then in the end they finally get to be together and she tells him that she really does love him and she always had, then she dies. |
| wordley | Oh shit, I've just re-viewed a film that has again left me with (sniff) something in my eye!! 'Mission To Mars" with Tim Robbins, Gary Sinese And Connie Nielsen (out of Gladiator), where they hve had a catastrophe aboard their ship and have decided to evacuate to the Mars orbiting ship 'REMO'. Things go wrong and Tim Robbins's Character is adrift in space and his wife (Connie Nielson) tries to assist him but puts her self in danger too.She insists in her rescue attempt but Bud(Tim) knows it is pointless, so bids her love and farewell and opens his suit to space, a poignant and extremely moving scene. I defy ANYONE to watch it with a dry eye !! |
| splatipus | How are we supposed to choose only 3? City of Angels is definately in there somewhere, and Ghost of course. However, ones that immediately sprang to mind for me are the latest (but quite old now) BBC version of Pride and Prejudice with Colin Firth as Mr. Darcy and Jennifer Ehle as Elizabeth. That scene where Mr. Darcy gets out of the lake with his wet white shirt is orgasmic of course. Then theres the other scene where Elizabeth is at Darcy's "house" (after the marriage proposal fall out)and Darcys sister is playing the piano with Elizabeth turning the pages and Mr Bingleys sister makes some comment about Wickham that makes Elizabeth realise that Darcy was telling the truth and they just look at each other across the room with smouldering eyes, music soars etc (you have to have seen it to know what I'm on about). Then another is Colin Firth (again - I'm a bit of a fan) at the End of Bridget Jones Diary when she says "Wait a minute, nice boys dont kiss like that" and he says "yes they fucking do" Phwor - that voice Finally, Highlander, when his first wife gets old and dies. |
| Ali | Never Been Kissed...The end scene between Drew Barrymore and Michael Vartan--damn that looked like an amazing kiss! More to follow later...My brain isn't working yet... |
| Misti | Chris always brings me magazines and candy bars. I surprised him with a book of poems written by New Mexico prisoners awhile back. We take a lot of mini road trips...Gallup, Canyon de Chelly, Santa Fe, Taos. Then there's always Hollywood Video and Tidal Wave Used Bookstore. I can't get him to take me bowling. He says it's too proletarian. The last time I sang karaoke was in Memphis when we both go so drunk that we drove the wrong way down a one way street. But nothing beats bowling and karaoke. Billiards is too humiliating. I always beat him. But Chris kicks my ass at air hockey. |
| Kirk | *Looks around at current double unemployment etc, considers*. Guess not. Though we did walk 45 minutes to the cinema to see Amelie again, rather than drive. That was kind of nice. |
| sweetness | He takes me downtown and lets me go to all the cute little shops I never find time to go to...the candy store with the best truffles in the world, the candle shop, all the new-age boutiques and best of all, the used record store! He hates to shop, so this is a huge sacrifice.....and for him, well, getting a sitter and spending the entire evening in bed is what does it for him. |
| somedaysoon | When my day has been really bass-askwards, to borrow a friend's phrase, he always seems to know, and gets me flowers... and we spend whatever time we have together in central park. when he's down(which doesn't seem to be all that often, i guess he's just better at hiding it than i am), i sit there an listen to him with my arms around his shoulders, and when he's done talking, a little kiss behind the ear usually makes him feel lots better... and then there's backrubs and all sorts of other good things.... |
| Rhetoric | I talk a lot. I ask lots of questions...maybe just to answer them myself. However, when this horrible thing happened to my dear, sweet boy - I shut up and let him talk. Most of the time he didn't, but I was listening to his every breath. I let him be the vulnerable one for a change. Not so much a surprise, but certainly special, and absolutely me at my best. |
| Jon | In highschool I used to work at a Bath and Body Works, they sell lotions, aromatheraphy products, candles...pretty much girl pampering stuff. Anyway, my friend who happens to own the local store now still gives me my 50% discount (it's only supposed to be 20% but shhh) and whenever my girlfriend is having a bad day I tell her to go try some imaginary item in my car (or whatever excuse I can think up) and when she returns I have the tub filled with hot water and bubbles, strawberry scented candles lit throughout the room and the bathroom and a few armoatherphy products in the tub waiting for her to enjoy. Then I usually sit on top of the toilet and listen as she tells me all of her problems. What does she do for me when the world isn't going so well? Sex... ;-) |
| Violet | When I feel overwhelmed, he has the best way of easing my mind. I lay next to him, with my head on his chest, and he wraps his arms around me. Then he asks me to list the things that are bothering me. He'll point to various objects around the room, assigning them as symbols for the various problems. He then address each object/problem (the lamp that represents too much school work etc...) and helps me think of things I can do to fix it. When my problems get organized like that, they seem smaller. And it's cute to see him point at the poster on the wall and say "And Dave Matthew's head there, you can fix that by simply telling *thelma* that what she did bothered you..." :-P It's adorable!! When he is feeling down, I try to provide my ears and shoulders and a warm embrace. I give him backrubs, massage his feet and run my fingers through his hair. |
| splatipus | When hes having a bad day I prance around the house singing silly made up songs that are so stupid he has to smile. When I'm having a bad day he buys me flowers and lets me rant and rave. When we're having quality time together we play our collection of drums and other musical instruments and probably annoy the neighbours |
| Caravan of Dreams | THAT question is worse than any madness that has ever swirled around my life...causing me..to...not able to ...think...air get...in...thin, ...can't can't...hhhhhhhhhhshsshshshshshshs...f!*bq^%#.---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------(tell laura that that I lo--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
| Jennifer | Well, I guess I've thought about it long enough and since I'm playing it solo at the time I guess I'll just go with past experiences....When that certain someone is having a bad day I like to make him as comfortable as possible. I listen to what's bothering him as we snuggle together or I rub his back and shoulders. And I pretty much just spoil him, give him what he wants. LOL Anything to help him release his energy in a good way! |
| wordley | COLD CHAMPAGNE X WARM BATH.2 = HOT LOVE!!!!! |
| ~*Truelies*~ | Unexpected visits laden with his favourite white chocolate and a silly surprise pressie is what I usually do when he's feeling like the worlds a massive let down. Cuddle up in bed with plenty of hugs, long kisses and telling him he's the most important person in my world usually picks him up too. In return he lets me shout and scream and cry at him and then just hugs me before giving me an unexpected silly pressie. |
| jimmyallgrownup | Embrace the madness. |
| scqueen | I give him a manicure and a pedicure. Who'd a thunk? But it's just as pampering to a man. |
| Walking Contradiction | I think it's important that you enjoy kissing the person. If you don't want to and they do then it can cause 'issues'. But if you enjoy it it doesn't matter if they're not the best kiss you've ever had. And if I'm wavering it isn't the kiss that pushes it, or at least I've never consciencely thought it was! |
| B.K. | From: B.K. Date: 4 May 2002 "The Kiss," well yes, it's very important and can inject fuel into the fire or even make you decide to pour water on it all together. You have to connect the right stars and planets and the fireworks are awesome. I can't imagine being with someone I did not want to kiss, or who did not want to kiss me, as the mouth is one major erogenous zone. bk |
| spaceman | For me the kiss is the deciding factor, it is all questionable until we lock lips, that's when I know if there is a connection or not. |
| Ali | They don't have to be the best kisser in all the world, but they do have to be good at it. Also, the emotions that get wrapped up in a kiss are so very important--a kiss can say so much. So I suppose that if I'm wavering a great kiss can push me over the top. Think of that song "It's in His Kiss." |
| Kindred_Spirit49 | The kiss can make it or break it. The lips, very senseous, and are usually the introduction to the whole love game. |
| Misti | I've been smitten with various men who sucked at kissing (and everything else). My husband and I don't kiss much anymore. I'm forever placing lipsticked kisses all over his face, though. That's always fun, especially before we go out in public. I appreciate the fact that Chris has excellent hygiene. Excellent hygiene is so underrated. |
| Randy1 | Yes and Yes. |
| Jennifer | As long as "sparks" fly who cares how good they are at it. And for the second part...definantly! |
| sweetness | It's not about skill, it's all about chemistry. And there is nothing sweeter than anticipating that first kiss..... |
| deevaa | I don't think I'm that great-a-kisser that I can be too fussy! Because I'm self consious about my kissing skills I've always prefered mouths on my neck/ears/soft spot below my ear to kissing..... and I never waver, either I'm into someone or I'm not, nothing would push me over if I wasn't. |
| jimmyallgrownup | Depends what they're kissing. But seriously...of course it's important. I think there's way too much of a focus in the gay world today on hardware and nothing else. So I therefore propose a kissing renaissance! And I'd like to begin with our very own Mr. Cod. That's right. I just KNOW he's a sublime kisser! (wink, wink) |
| Galadrial | Sorry...I wish a perfect kiss was a SURE FIRE calling card of a great lover...but I have known men who turned my knees to jello with a kiss...and were abysmal lovers. And I married a man who was a wretched kisser...but a good lover. Go figure. |
| Just Some Girl | YES, YES, YES!!! Passionate kissing (with intermittent peeking to look into the eyes of your lover) is the most important part of loving! Kissing-talent is dependent upon the chemistry between two people and less about skill, I believe. |
| Kirk | Interesting array of responses to this question... ...I think kissing is maybe a little bit over-rated. (Blasphemy! I know.) It's not the same as being an interesting person or enthusiastic and skillful in bed. I don't think you gain any mystical knowledge about your romantic partner from the way they kiss. |
| Violet | It is very important to be a good kisser. (Not the most important thing, but very important.) A great kiss might just do it, but a great heart, or brilliant mind does it even better. |
| Jon | Anticpation is everything for me. You know, that moment that you are about to kiss. You think to yourself "Oh my god I'm about to kiss this person." And the excitement the feeling the rush...oh...it's just wonderful. So yeah what I think makes a good kisser is someone than can make me want it, beg for it, pray to God for it until just the thought of that persons lips upon yours sends shivers up your spine and giggles out of your mouth. Anticipation is everything. |
| splatipus | I agree with Jon. The anticipation is fabulous. The whole build up and then finally that split second before you kiss somebody for the first time....but it can be such a bummer if after all the anticipation you find out they're a crap kisser. However, if the person is important enough to you, you dont care...you still want more....and after all...you can always train them! |
| Hopeful | I have kissed quite a lot of people in my day *grin* What I have noticed is that the two people I have been ultimately in love with are also the two most memorable first kisses. Ok...duh. But the night I first kissed each of them I knew "this is something" They weren't the kisses that might have ranked highest in technical merit, but they hit me just the right way to let me know... |
| Jasper Mook | .... eye wood haftagree wit jest sin grrl ass dis KISS diss KISS itz da KISS!!! shee speek ah troot sew tru infac aye KISS Hurr rt dis minit!!! Da KISS ist da portal o da sole! o mio my-o! Diss KISS, dis KISS!! (i.e. most intimate of Acts I 1-10 "Thou art thou soul and body my Temple." saith He. Ever forgetting the genitals are ALSO the portal to the soul, not simply a path to the potty - making sex an act power and manipulation where nothing is special - would that we would treat our peepees and poopoos and ovaries and Gods chilluns wit mo ree-speck. Reclaim your virginity, renounce dysfunctions and mate with that one tru thing ASAP, ban Pornography (be tru 2 yore genders X+Y : ) and dancin yo baby cause thatall yool eva evva need. that 1 tru THING - and you will know it by itz KISS, yes my cybrethren, it is He who shall save thee, Yeah, and lo I AM CUM Come Come Away Come Back to that 1truTHANGchemistry. Amen. [NOTE: JSG - itz knot ah KISS if U caKnot release! und BELIEVE when the eyes close and then open the eye beyond YOUR eye AMEN then sweet soul you shalt know yore 1TRUthing! Butt U must! BELIEVE! your soul kisses your every touch and thought and passion KEEP IT TRUE AND PURE amen. and amen.]get it on againandagainandagainwitdat!truTHANG! God Damn! I said. I am that I AM. Goddamn! PS - Go be EXTREEE Nice! to your mother today, so somebodies mother with jackassess for spawn. (c) Jasper Mook CWG MMII Go U.S.A! Amen! |
| Jasper Mook | PARDONmonamour,monamis [NOTE: "newtatdis"] "PS - Go be EXTREEE Nice! to your motherS today, OR somebodies mother with jackassess for spawn. (Look, just be nice to some old lady today and , well, U JUICE Kant Gogh Wong...und Amen." (c) Jasper Mook CWG MMII Go U.S.A! Amen! |
| Just Some Girl | Definately!! Touch reinforces love! |
| Misti | Hell yeah, it's important! Bear hugs! Butterfly kisses! Eskimo kisses! All kinds of kisses! Cuddling! Holding hands is good, too. I can't formulate a poetic response to such a basic question. I can't imagine NOT being affectionate with my husband. That seems odd. |
| violet | Yes, affection and touching is very important. It keeps the spark alive, which keeps the relationship happy. |
| Ali | Yes! It is amazingly important. Touch can say things sometimes that words can't. Physical affection is the bridge between what's spoken and what's not spoken... What can I say? I'm a very affectionate person! *smile* |
| B.K. | Yes absolutely, touch is as essential as air is to breathe. bk |
| Kirk | I'd be surprised if anyone actually said "No". Though I'm not that big into "Public Displays of Affection" per se. And most of the touch has more to do with a goofy playfullness than anything else. |
| jims_belle | It is vitally important to have a good physical relationship with your partner. The touches...the kisses... stimulate hormones that help bond the partners together. |
| Jon | Yes touch is important, but it isn't necessary I think. My cousin was in a horrible car accident and she was paralyzed from the neck down. She can't move, she can't feel anything, but you know what the amazing thing was? Her boyfriend stood by her side and eventually married her. Even though she was unable to please his physical needs...the emotions, the love they share was just enough for the both of them. One day I hope I can love someone that much. Touch is important. But love, that fire that is inside your heart...it touches the inside in ways that no physical action could ever match on the outside. |
| urbntofu | There is definite a need for physical affection because when you have truly fallen in love, often times there are never enough words to describe the overwhelming emotions that you have for that person. I think that's what makes long-distance relationships a little difficult to grasp... you constantly long for the other person, to express what words never can. Heh, that's how I feel right now. *HOLDING HANDS IS TOUCHING SOULS.* Happy Loving, Everyone! <33 |
| wordley | Someone said "one touch is worth a thousand words".......don't know WHO said it but they were SO right!!......especially when it's in the right place!! |
| jackryhme | ummm yes i think it is... as to why... well ... i have taken care of cuts, scrapes, bruises, have held her when sick ( i get a gag reflex to ummm well some one else vomiting, like im a sympathetic puker but still..lol she spews i spew she spews sort of thingy.. i have held her still so for support) was there with her when she miscarried, holding her hand...was there with the birth of our daughter again holding her hand.... i have held her in her pain as well as in her anger so i figure if i can hold her at the worst of times i better be able to touch her in the best don't cha think? plus a touch conveys at times far more than words depths to feelings, thoughts , or just to say yes i welcome you here for you are my support sort of deal ...well at least so i think... lol buts thats just me i guess jack |
| unreasonable | What kind of question is THAT? Duh. |
| Rhetoric | Come on, come on, come on, now - TOUCH ME BABE. Can't you see that I am not afraid? Well said, Jim. |
| unreasonable | Christmas |
| Lydia | I would say Christmas...but it is obvious. Who doesn't like that warm fuzzy you get around the holidays? As far as celebrations go - I always liked New Years Day. It is a holiday that sparks new paths, new thoughts, and fresh perspectives. That is...if you aren't getting the beat down from a raging maniac. |
| Misti | Fourth of July. Christmas is too cold and commercialized and crowded. Valentine's Day is a cliche. Thanksgiving is just so much food. Fourth of July is live music and sparkly explosives. I think of Willie's picnic in Luckenbach...fresh Fredericksburg peaches and vodka...cold beer...karaoke...Keith Whitley in concert...people whooping and hollering over firework displays...hangin' out in the back of pickup trucks...Runaway Bay all lit up with stars...and sending Chris a box of Black Cats and then being reprimanded by everyone I knew. |
| spaceman | I wqoul shave to say Christmas...the lights, the music, that feeling that we get as children that magic is posible in our lives...I know that Christmas and New Years are also my parents favorite time of year, as 4 out of 5 of their children were born in Spetember. |
| spaceman | please forgive my spelling above, I just reread my response now and all I can say is I had a lot of fun this weekend and I wrote that at 3 am...anyone familiar with the song "Ten Rounds with Jose Cuervo"? |
| Violet | Though the 4th of July is a good one... (nice pick Misti) I'd have to say Xmas as well... there's something about the chaotic magical fuzzy warm feeling... the snow, the lights, the songs... everyone is in a good mood. :-) It's fun to give gifts, to cuddle by the fire, to play in the snow... drink hot cocoa... aah... I love the xmas season. :-D |
| jackryhme | hmm how about a revamp of the Sadi Hawkins day? |
| Jennifer | I must agree with Misti...loud music,hot summer night, back of a pickup under a colorful, sparkly sky...hmmmm, yep definantly!!! I love it! |
| B.K. | I think even though it's the most work, Thanksgiving all the way thru to New Years is my favorite time of the year to share. I guess if I have to pick one Xmas. |
| Vishal | Well I love the image and feeling of 4th of July, but as I've never been in the States on that day, I'd have to go with New Years Day. |
| Madi | Thanksgiving – it’s the most romantic time to get away to the island with him. The tourists are all someplace else, the ocean and sand are just right for walks under the moon, and someone else deals with stuffing the turkey (the Thanksgiving gobbling shrimp) while we play on the beach. |
| splatipus | I've always found (for me) that its not the Holiday, but the people that you are with that count. Kisses! |
| scqueen | I'm with Jackrhyme ~ but he has to take me to the Sadie Hawkins dance, or, er, a circle around the old May pole. I guess I better stop now. He'll think of somthing dirty to say :-) |
| Kirk | Memorial Day, marking the start of summer. |
| TJ Holland | CANADA DAY. July 1st. My most memorable celebration of that day was 12 years ago with the man I loved the very most, aside from my father. He and I both love the pipes. When I heard those haunting bagpipes, my eyes filled with tears. I looked over to him, my grandfather, my hero, and saw his eyes shining with tears too. 11 years ago he died. The pipes played long and sad at his funeral. |
| Jon | Jon Day. Every 1st of the month. ;-) |
| doubleloop | Christmas.. |
| Misti | Sultry summer nights, definitely. Sleeping in the nude with the window open. Yum. |
| deevaa | Well up until recently I'd have said winter by a long way, but since moving to Australia they have the most amazing summer storms with lightening shows at night.... laying in bed naked with a squeaky fan pushing cool air across your body while you watch a lightening show out your open bedroom window is amazingly romantic. |
| Violet | Sultry Summer Nights... the heat hanging in the air reminds you of the heat you create together. It's a slow, lazy, warm, floating feeling... how can it not inspire huge ammounts of passion and romance? ;-) |
| Bridget O | Summer! It's hott and thats all the more reason to take off your clothes. but winter was a close 2nd, when theres nothing to do outside, make your own fun inside;);) |
| B.K. | Doesn't matter whether it's hot or cold as long as you have the person that makes you want to make long slow passionate love.. till your toes curl and you have a big cheshire cat grin...sigh God I love that man. |
| jackryhme | long winter nights heh gotta generate heat and dont mind a little sweat and the snugglin lol heh i have fallen asleep still deep...ah well lol neber mind.....but on those sultry hot nights naked abed well all your truly looking for is a little cool space and snugglin on a sultry hot night is kinda out of the question and heated passion....? lol ya sure |
| urbntofu | I find long winter nights to be romantic. Sultry summer nights put you in a more erotic mood, though. Winter nights allows endless snuggling and cuddling up under the "Fleece for Two" beside a warm fire. Then again, summer nights allow the two of you to sit along the ledge at the beach and gaze up at the night sky lit only by the stars that live in it... *sigh*. There I go dreaming again! Enjoy the sultry summer nights while they last. <333 |
| Just Some Girl | Sultry summer nights...this enables more time to be spent out of doors, gazing at the stars or walking aimlessly, hand in hand. |
| Kirk | (yay, new survey question) Summer Nights, because you can be naked in bed without the urge to burrow under the covers. |
| Rhetoric | I must agree with B.K. Each situation has an advantage. But if it romance we are questioning - I have to say that crisp fall afternoons (when the leaves are just turning and the air smaell sof burning wood) and breezy spring mornings (just as the dew melts off the lawn) always seem to spark my plug. |
| muryan | Although the winter nights can be cozy, I prefer the sultry summer nights. The heat in the air intensifies passion, walking out under the stars, sitting on a blanket with wine and fresh fruit. I feel that it's more free than a winter night. |
| kevin urenda | there's just something about candlelight on a sultry steamy summer night that makes love somehow feel more right |
| Misti | I think love is for now. Love is temporal, like anything else. I guess if you're Heloise and Abelard or Frank and Ava love is forever. But the kind of love I'm familiar with is not of the forever variety. |
| TJ Holland | True love can be nothing but forever. Anything else is infatuation. I have never found true love, and the times I thought I had, there was always a tiny, wiser part of me whispering the truth of the situation. I chose not to listen. My mistake has always been to shut up the small voice, all the while listening to the big brass band, telling myself my dreams of love were now finally attainable. I have known love, but that qualifier, "TRUE", was never tacked onto the deal. |
| muryan | I believe that love is forever. I'll take this quote from "The Crow" which states "Love never dies." And that is the truth. If it does die, then it wasn't love to begin with. |
| Bridget O | True love is forever, no matter how badly you get hurt and no matter how much you deny it, if it's TRUE love then you'll alwyas be in love with them. |
| therosser1022 | Love has to be forever, because love is more powerful than anything. It outlasts time, it's goes farther than distance. Nothing can stop it, not even goodbye. It has the power to completely change everything you've ever known. It's the greatest thing we have, and in the end... it's the only thing we have. So yes, I definitely think that love is forever. |
| deevaa | A part of me still loves the guy I married, every now and again we'll talk on the phone and I'll glimpse the guy I knew before we got married, and it'll make me sad - for what I don't know... maybe sad because neither of us are who we used to be... I believe love stays with us forever, but finding someone who grows in the same direction as you grow is the hard part. I think the person I was 6yrs ago when I got married is still in love with him, the person I am now isn't. If that makes any sense at all. |
| dragonfleyes | Love is one of the most mixed up things in our lives, that sometimes we never truly know we have it, until we "actually" have it. There are so many varieties of love, that to say that it can't last forever, would be ignorance. But to not believe that sometimes love is fleeting, would be just as equally so. It depends on who you love, and if they love you, you can be so completely in love with someone, and have it go unrequited. |
| spaceman | Real love is forever....I would have argued the point when I was younger, but what other explanation is there for feeling like you got kicked in the gut when you see someone who used to be your lover? That sick feeling of longing to even just touch her again. It has to be love. Course that is lost love. Current love is a different thing altogether. |
| MichaelT() | For me, if it's forever then it is love. If it's love it may or may not be forever. And yes - I've felt the forever. Hope to feel it again. |
| wordley | LOVE; May 27th, 1988; Friday. Place; The factory where I was an engineer. 10:25 am, a new service chemist walked in and introduced herself. " Hello, I'm Lesley " At that moment I new that love COULD last forever.To cut a long story short, she is the one, unobtainable, perfect being in my life. For six years we shared a love that was purely emotional, and I wont pretend that, at times , it could have become physical; but that would have ruined a most perfect relationship. So, we would have lunch, go for walks in the country, share so many hugs and kisses. BUT.....Lesley is married, as was I at the time, and yes you may say NAUGHTY.....BUT Lesley filled a space in my life, as I did in hers until September 1996 when, after a particularly difficult year for us both in our personnal lives, we decided it would be best if we didn't meet again. Oh we send each other an e-mail very occasionly, but nothing else. Only the Knowledge that there is a corner of her heart where no else may go, only me, and that there is a corner of MY heart that is hers for ever.Do you know, I hadn't written any poetry until I met her?....she unlocked my creative side and my spiritual side and I will be eternaly greatful to her. So, love does last for ever, but only if it's unconditional and has no strings |
| wordley | If I may I would like to add that the first fifteen poems posted were dedicated to Lesley, and read the first letter of each line of 'LESLEY', it was my first cryptic.!! |
| Kirk | Yeah, I think some loves are forever, but the ones where it's not forver, that doesn't mean it wasn't love. |
| Amethyst | Yes, I think some love is forever, and I don't think it necessarily has to be true love either... I think that a person realizes love can be forever, when you find yourself thinking about someone you were with awhile ago, and haven't spoken to in ages, but they subtly seem to slip into your thoughts, without knowing how they got there in the first place. I think alot of you can probably agree with that. Those loves that never seem to completely leave your thoughts, that always seem to have a place in your heart, and you know that if you saw them again your stomach would flutter, and you would have to take a few quick breaths...those are forever loves |
| Violet | Love takes many forms and fills many time frames... I think it depends on the situation. However, if you are lucky enough to find the kind that lasts forever, I'd hold onto it. ;-) |
| B.K. | The forever kind of love is for the very lucky indeed. I think it could happen more often if people only paid more attention to their stars. bk |
| R. Stonecloud | If love were forever, there would be no divorce or infidelity. Love is forever if you MAKE it forever. |
| Rhetoric | Do I believe that love is forever? Of course love is forever. There are no assurances that your love will be reciprocated or that a relationship is forever. However, love - love can and does last. |
| Just Some Girl | I believe that love is forever...I just don't believe that love with the SAME person is forever!!! |
| Liz | Love has to be forever....I'm betting all my money on it!But a friend of mine insists that love is a lie, and that the notion of romantic love is something that has been taught to us; that we would not desire and search for it if we had not been conditioned to do so. He is an impossible man...*wink* |
| wandering_soul | I think love is forever...the thing that changes is whoever or whatever you love... |
| Jon | If there is one thing that I know for a fact is forever then it's change. So it's not crazy to think that universal rule applies to love as well. Nothing ever stays the same. |
| entropy | There are many different kinds of love, but the true love, the kind you dream of, the kind that you know the first time you meet someone that you have known them all your life... that love is forever. |
| B.K. | It's very hard to do but yes, I think the friendship element has to be there first and foremost before the romance. Then I think no matter what happens you can be friends. bk |
| urbntofu | You can count on awkwardness playing a big part in the "back to friends" stage simply because the moment(s) you've shared will repetitiously play in your mind. Eventually you end up learning to be just friends again (Give it 2 1/2 years!)*sigh* |
| Liz | I had a brief, but passionate marriage when I was VERY young, to a man I had grown up with, and the break up was awful. But after a couple of years had passed, we were able to talk without the bitterness surfacing, and today he calls me his best friend. So sure, with time and patience and a lot of forgiveness, you can go back to being just friends. |
| Misti | I've had a bad experience with that. Once it's over, it's over. I haven't stayed friends with any of my exes. I've wanted to but it wasn't mutual. I've always enjoyed being friends with guys. I've had a few good girl friends but more often than not I had more fun with my guy friends. I think friendship is more important than romantic love but I get suckered in by songs like "More Than a Feeling" and "Peaceful, Easy Feeling" and "Wishing You Were Here" (Chicago, not Pink Floyd!!!)and "Over and Over (The World We Knew)" by Ol Blue Eyes. And movies like "Flash Gordon" and "Urban Cowboy" and "Cat on a Hot Tin Roof." And fairy tales like Rapunzel and books like Wuthering Heights and How to Save Your Own Life. And rides like the Tilt-A-Whirl and the Texas Giant (wooden roller coaster) at Six Flags Over Texas. And clothes like anything Victoria's Secret puts out and Frederick's of Hollywood, I confess. Then there are all those men colognes that drive me wild and crossword puzzle boxers and Mark McGrath with his goatee and tattoos. Friendship is definitely more important, in the end. It doesn't drive you crazy. |
| scqueen | I think life is too short to contemplate this answer :-) |
| kevin urenda | Since I make up these questions, I've obviously contemplated this. The Reader's Digest (tm) Condensed Version of my answer is 'yes.' Since I did not answer the last question either (although my short answer to it is 'yes' as well), a complete answer would take up more space than it deserves. |
| scqueen | I knew that would make you answer the question :-P |
| Kirk | there's some interesting assumptions in this question...that many or most romances can or should start in "regular" friendships, and asking if they can return to that...I mean, I dunno, is this the same question as "can you be friends with your exes"? to which I think the answer for me is yes, but I'm not sure about the original question... |
| kevin urenda | You are absolutely correct, Kirk. Those are two different questions entirely. (jotting this down for future reference... :-D ) |
| kevin urenda | oh, and :-p yerself, SC/Cali-girl! |
| deevaa | I guess I'm on the same page as Kirk, I have never been 'just friends' with someone who I had a romantic interest in... but in saying that, I have been friends with my ex's, although not 100% successfully. Hopefully my ex hubby and I's friendship will be successful, there is a wee fella who depends on it. |
| Savannah Haze | Yes! I had a best guy friend that I adored. We were so close and after a long time we decided to try dating since we got along so well. Then we decided, "Hey, this works so well, let's get engaged." So we did. Then, a year and a half later, it turned out that we weren't meant to be husband and wife. We broke up and for about six months things were rough. Then we both decided there was no need to ruin a good friendship. For the past 2 years, we've become close again. He has also become friends with my husband and I have become friends with his wife. We spent a week with them in Boston. There was no weirdness; we have redefined platonic. |
| Nonitta | No. I think that no matter how hard you try, one of you will always feel uncomfortable...and even if you can still hang out and pretend that nothing has changed..one or both of you will always want more. |
| spaceman | Oh sure, you can be friends with an ex, if you are a glutton for punishment! Maybe it's just me, but I feel towards my exes the same way I did toward my toys as a child...even if I don't want it (her) anymore, I don't want anyone else to have it (her). And being her friend means I have to listen to how wonderful every new man she meets is, and being the Neanderthal that I am, I take it personally. So, I don't even attempt to stay friends with exes now. |
| jackryhme | no, not back, but the friendship that can become from this can be far more fulfilling, as in yes i know your body and your mind as do you know of me the same, we have loved, been lovers and still love, closer than friends, brothers, sisters, mothers or fathers for what we know of each other, if one is mature enough. can you see the possibilities? |
| where is your heaven | I would like to think so. Some people make great friends and really bad couples. I think is depends on hoe strong your friendship was before the romantic relationship started. |
| Madison | yes. |
| muryan | I did cross the line between friendship and romantic love. Unforunately I fell in love with him, didn't realize it until we had broken up....big bummer. But needless to say, he doesn't know I love him so much, but we are indeed good friends, even better friends than before, once again. Only, he moved away. Woe is me. So, Yes. I believe that if you were good enough friends before, you will be friends again. In fact, it should make you even better friends. |
| wistful | Definitely. I'm still friends with every man that I've dated for more than three months (except for the guy who turned out to be separated instead of divorced; you know the drill). Since so much of attraction for me is based on personality and having a good heart, that friend connection remains long after the passion ends. In fact, ultimately, it's more important to me that the physical intimacy. Sex is easy to get, friendship much harder. And a friend who still loves you (as a friend) despite knowing your most intimate secrets and faults is one to truly treasure! |
| deevaa | ah, not this object of my affection, but objects in my past. My current object I've read erotic short stories too, but none of my own. In my past it often lead to another form or aural stimulation, with my guy now..... well.... I think he likes it, but we don't do it often. |
| jackryhme | lol since ive only been writing this stuff fer a little over a year now and cant read chinese or translate english into same and though she has a good understanding of english its not up to par with romantic imaging .... so lol cant realy even try nor have i ever had anyone read that i know face to face so.... lol ah well... |
| rikachez | I had recently sent my poetry, probably should of read it aloud. I think right now, it is shock...or Awe. |
| splatipus | I often read my hubby my stuff, especially the more comic ones and the ones that are eventually meant to be songs. Those ones usually inspire him to go off and strum the guitar to find a chord pattern that fits. |
| Kirk | Nah, most of my poetry is about the relationships that don't work. So usually if anything I have to e-mail it. Though I made Yee + Lan ( http://www.loveblender.com/prose/yee.lan.html ) up as a bedtime story, so that was out loud then. (The listener liked it.) |
| B.K. | He's the very first to ever see my poem as they are written to him and sent at the same time I post them. I can't wait to read some of them to him..sigh (Kisses Darlin) bk |
| Max-Rom | I have read a few to her, and usually her reaction was that of, "Was that for me?" She loves my poetry. In her words, it is one of the things that makes me who I am. |
| Misti | Yeah. To almost all of them. Jay cried. Brian was turned on. Chase didn't understand or appreciate anything but the sex poems. Chris laughs because I mispronounce so many different words. |
| Entropy | A couple of years ago I went by a different name on the boards here. The girl I was currently seeing and I used to communicate through poems on the board when we were having problems in the relationship. One of us would write a poem, and the other would answer back in another poem, or vica versa. ~Entropy |
| muryan | I haven't had a guy I felt comfortable enough to read my poetry to. Nor have I had one long enough to get that comfortable. But I hope to find him someday, and when I do, I will definitely read my poetry to him. |
| TJ Holland | I had this really bad habit of marrying men with a 'different' intellect than mine. The first husband would fall asleep, or look at me the same way a turnip might look at a person upon being pulled from the dark ground. The second husband loved it, but didn't understand it. Then he'd try to write something that usually ended up making me feel embarassed for him. I'd have to pretend to like it. I stopped sharing because it was so uncomfortable. I've known/'seen' some men who could identify and communicate on that level, but I wasn't physically attracted to any of them. Now I'm just holding out for a sexy, intellectual, passionate writer. HA! |
| Madi | That would be a yes. Their reactions? I don’t kiss and tell. ooops, I think I just did. |
| Savannah Haze | Very little poetry... more of my prose. Don't know if it's because my poetry tends to be more personal OR because it's my weakest writing and I'm self-conscious. My ex was fairly critical of what I wrote or acted like he didn't care at all. I let my husband read some of my essays before we married so he'd understand me better. I have let him read a few poems and he seemed to like them. |
| chris | Nah. I've already been told that I'm not her favorite poet, so I don't think she feels like she's missing out on much. :( But it's all good...I've given up on the poetry thing anyway. In my next incarceration--er, incarnation--I plan to be the conductor of a mid-size symphony orchestra and weekend skydiver. |
| Misti | Real men don't flirt. They deliver. I've fallen for more than a few expert flirts but they have always (without exception) failed miserably in the proverbial long run. When I was a kid my "vision of love" was Potsy Webber on "Happy Days," serenading Joanie with "Put Your Head On My Shoulder." As a woman, my vision of love is closer to John Wayne in "The Searchers." The older I get the less tolerance I have for bullshit. |
| jackryhme | hmmm well lol i love a good flirt, to me it shows an open mind as well as intelligence and to love a flirt? depends on the flirt, how they choose to flirt and the mind behind it all. and as fer being a man ... well my papa can beat your papa |
| Misti | Uh...okay. |
| wordley | If 'Flirtiness' means to fuck with, or make unsincere promises, or any other imagined inuendoes; however harmless you think they are, DON'T!!!..... The person you're making them to may think otherwise.... |
| wordley | Oh yeah, ...Jack...MY Papa craps bigger than YOURS!!!! |
| Madison | I think the idea of being chosen as a mark would send anyone running. Being a good flirt has more to do with how you make someone else feel than how you look or anything pathetically phony you might contrive. If a man makes me feel good nonverbally, or captures my attention verbally, and it’s sincere then flirt baby, flirt. Here’s a test just for fun: http://www.emode.com/emode/tests/flirtation2_switch.jsp |
| muryan | I'm not sure if I would fall in love with someone simply because they flirted with me. If I fell in love with every guy who flirted with me, I'd be in love with nearly every guy on campus. It takes a little seriousness to win me. Of course not to much, because I do tend to be drawn to goofy guys. Flirting is fun, and it can keep a relationship alive in a way, but sometimes, it's time to be serious. That's how I feel. And as for choosing me as their mark, if they chose me only that would be cool maybe we could build a relationship as time goes by. But it seems as though when a guy is not flirting with me, they are flirting with every other girl. So I need more than just mere flirtatious stimulation. |
| chris | Flirting is fine as long as the one doing it is sincere and not full of shit. Flirting without integrity is just plain goofy (as they say in Kountze, Texas). Now...if the black-haired character in "Ghost World" flirted with me, well, that'd be another story. (Use me! Use me! Please!) |
| Misti | I wouldn't mind bein' used by Mark McGrath. |
| Kirk | Sometimes I think a lot of normal friendly interaction can take the form of flirting. It doesn't have to be all serious or goal directed...I guess it's that a lot of the same interactions that mark us as an interesting person in general would also tend to promote ourselves as a potential romantic interest...unless you're thinking of flirting in the more "obviously testing the waters" kind of way, in which case...well, it's nice when two people can make their intentions known, without obligating the other side to follow through. So long as a person is purposefully flrting with *you* and isn't just a general casual heavy innuendo flirter, why not? |
| jackryhme | ya what kirk said and Wordly it may be so but lets please not get into the smell area of combat k? think my dads got that area sewed up tight wheeeww !!! |
| deevaa | Argyle and I got together because of flirtiness. He'd seen my xanga log and thought I was some arty farty freak and wasn't really interested in me, then emailed me, to which I emailed back with a touch of flirt, he topped my flirt and so the flirting begain.... after that, there was the flirty and fun phonecall. I wasn't interested in flirting to find me a man, and he wasn't looking for love either, we 'fell' into it. And flirting was the cliff top. LOL |
| Violet | Flirting is fun. |
| RennieLorca | Who knows what lurks ... lol ... I have written erotic or slightly romantic verses for years and have enjoyed comments on them. I have desired attention and also run from it. So, I have always been amazed at what some people see as "flirting" .. I once said nothing more than, "Nice tie, George" .. and he went home and cleaned out his bank account and told a wife and four kids he was leaving to go away with me. I should tell you I didn't even know his last name and had never flirted with him .. and wasn't then. So, Kirk, I have even hesitated for years in carefully saying, "Nice website, Kirk" .. ;-). Actually, I love lots of folks (liking some of them is a chore), but am devoted to one person. Flirting is a compliment, acknowledging it is another. Flirting makes men whistle and women sway a little more than they did to get the whistle in the first place .. even when they call the guys gorillas for it. Flirting is fun and testing unchartered waters, and often accepted for what it is in the test. Going beyond that skirts the edges into personal information and desires and can be unwanted attention. I've gone many years with men telling me they love me and flirting to make me smile. We've had great friendships and kept them that way. Love and passion are too often confused. "Love" means different things to different people. Ask them about passion, and passion and friendship. Listen for the stammer and watch them blush. Someone really wants you, they go far beyond flirting into feeling and showing great passion ... sometimes crimes of passion when they have chosen you as their mark. I see flirting only as the attempt, not the relationship maker or breaker unless there is immaturity. An opinion, but I can be swayed, maybe with the right tie OR smile at this point in life. |
| Nonitta | I don't think that True Love can be based only on the fact that a 'good flirter' has chosen you and has made you feel special. Love yes. Not True Love. It might take awhile to figure out, but in the end, you'll realize it for what it was. Infatuation. |
| jackryhme | crisp was this click of sound as the razor of my blade cut into the life of the thickest stem severing from it ground sustain and with my prize i hie me close to the one most would i love this day press of flesh from lips to taste succulence of scent from this with its thorns so ripe an sharp black'nd hue within this fading day straining hard with needle tips to draw forth syrup red from such perfect pulsing skin same from lips lowered to alight a kiss to each petal their rightful due and as i watch a tremble my ardor sudden trebled my beast within asleep no more jealous now of my perfect prize this love you give to a simple rose umm yes? |
| Inflatable Sushi | u say potato and i say potato it is if it is, it ain't if it ain't What the hell kind of question is THAT? (in the words of The King..."a little LESS conversation") |
| kevin urenda | Anyone else think this question is tautological? Or is the last respondent just afraid to answer? |
| kevin urenda | I mean, I COULD rephrase what the question really is in a very crude manner, but do we want that here? I don't think we're looking for yes or no answers here, we are looking for some brain activity. |
| jackryhme | lol sorry keven but that was my best shot k at a marrige between the two k? |
| kevin urenda | You did well, Sir Jack... |
| scqueen | Ah geez, there's a jackass in every bunch. |
| scqueen | And no, Jack, I am not talking of your specific ass,(this time anyway):-) And you answered the question very well, by the way. |
| jackryhme | actuly my lady Scqueen as you know my name is Jack S. and my ass is one of my own ladys favorite spots so... lol more information than truly nessasary but ah well lol jack |
| splatipus | My answer to both questions is that it can if you want it to be. |
| Misti | There was a virginal once upon a time when I thought romance could be intensely erotic. If a guy so much as kissed my hand I'd nearly faint from orgiastic bliss. And a phone call from a guy I liked would turn me into a giddy idiot. Romance has taken on a new flavor. When my husband brings me surprises, holds me when I cry or takes me for a drive to see the sunset/mesas/mountains/city lights it is indeed the very essence of romance but there isn't anything erotic about it. I don't think pure eroticism can be romantic. I equate pure eroticism with "9 1/2 Weeks" or Endless Love the book, not the movie. Or anything by Anais Nin or Henry Miller. Then again, Erica Jong aptly combines the two in How to Save Your Own Life. When she finds Josh, romance and eroticism are one and the same. I guess that can happen sometimes. But at this point in my life, romance serves as a relief from my crying jags and utter lack of faith in humanity and eroticism serves as a different kind of relief, which is purely physical. But that's just me. I'm screwed up in the head, even with Celexa. |
| RennieLorca | With me, you can book a flight with romanticism. Eroticism lets you take it. Romanticism lets you get frequent flyer miles to erotic exotic places. Without either one, this romanticism and eroticism, you are going to be out on the highway thumbing a ride. Captain had his own comment on this in the new submissions ..... Rennie |
| Kirk | romance is just sublimated eroticism |
| Violet | Romance can jump all over the scale from innocent to erotic. You can also enjoy erotic pleasures without a hint of romance. So, my answer is Yes. It's possible. However, I like it best when the two merge. |
| Rhetoric | For me, the two "moods" are compartmentalized depending on the situation. I don't have a romantic prerequisite for eroticism and vice versa. I guess they can tangled up so you can't tell where one starts and the other ends, but I have never thought about them either being seperate from one another or conjoined. However, I do think you can have one without the other. |
| Just Some Girl | One is about love, the other about sex. Sex can be romantic, but romance isn't about sex, necessarily. It depends upon the situation. |
| Savannah Haze | Goodness gracious, if it couldn't be I'd have to just give it up and stock up on batteries. I think things of the "erotic" nature are more intimate and enjoyable when there IS romance. There's more of a sense of trust. There are fantasies I've always wanted fulfilled but couldn't approach until I met my husband. The two DO go together. John and I can switch from naughty to passionate to sweet in a matter of minutes. They can function seperately, but oh, when they mix, it's divine! |
| TJ Holland | I don't really like the words "romantic" or "romance". It's just my connotation, but the words feel insincere. They seem shallow. Something used to lure. Something used on a naive or reluctant victim. And Harlequin didn't do the word "romance" any favors either. The word "eroticism" as abused by the general (and/or sexually deviant) population seems to have perverted the beauty and sanctity of what would have otherwise been truly erotic. Pity. But what I perceive to be erotic would only exist between two people who truly KNOW each other. Between anyone else it is sexy, esthetic, and hot posing (or at times is actually degrading and repulsive). And what I find to be romantic has absolutely nothing to do with candle lit dinners, fireplaces, flowers, hearts or chocolates (in and of themselves). Romance is something that happens without forcing it to be. (But using a little bit of force is DEFINATELY erotic!! HA!) |
| B.K. | I agree with Savannah, the two have to mix and ohh la la create a mind and body force that waves like a flag between two people. I want someone that can just look at me across a room of people and without saying a word melt me into a puddle of goo. Now thats erotic and thats romantic too if the look includes love... sigh |
| kevin urenda | I like the last three answers, but ultimately, I think the distilled essence of that is exactly what Kirk says it is! |
| Ali | Yes, I've done that on more than one occasion (I will talk to just about anybody...lol) Sometimes the person turns out to be nice, as well as attractive. Other times, they open they mouth to speak and I want to run away immediately (the beauty's there, but the brains are gone...lol). It's always worth a try, to talk to people that you've never met. Carpe Diem. *smile* |
| Misti | I've done this once outside of a bar. It was my first semester of college. The first summer session. I'd noticed this hot guy in my history class. One day I was walking to the park across from campus to sunbathe and I saw him headed in the same direction. So I approached him and we hung out together. We had a study session that night. Nothing much came of it because I was shy and his girlfriend called me in tears. I wasn't bold enough to pursue it but it was intoxicating while it lasted. |
| Just Some Girl | Yes!! I recently met a guy that way. He was working a booth at a travel show. Since I knew he'd be there a bit, I went and bought some Godiva chocolate. I took it right up to him and introduced myself. It worked. He said it was the most flattering thing a girl had ever done!! |
| jackryhme | lol which country? met a sales clerk in hongkong who's clearst english was that she hated me, at dinner, dancing, that night, in the morning and over the next four days we were together lol have to admit the first night i was kinda nervous but so is life... jack |
| muryan | I did. It was in my new Acting class, which somehow give me powers of forwardness. Anyway, I saw T.J. across the stage, and I thought he was just awesome. So mysterious looking. I went over to him and introduced myself, he did likewise, and we began to talk. He made me laugh. That spurred many long talks together in the food court of the college center, and he became a dear friend, even though he was still quite an enigma to me. He was still someone I would have liked to date. We never did date, and he hasn't come back this year. He's staying home. I don't know if I'll ever see him again. But I hope I do. But I'm totally glad that I did actually talk to him, he's a wonderful person. I miss my Sunset Friend. |
| splatipus | Very rarely. I am completely useless at chatting people up and on the odd occasion I did have a go, I ended up saying the stupidest things and feeling like a complete idiot. All of my relationships began from either them asking me out, friends engineering a meeting for me, or guys who were friends first. |
| Jon | If I were in a club, bar, random hangout joint then believe me you would know my name. I introduce myself to everyone. Hi, I'm Jon I'm weird like that. Anyway so yeah I've done that plenty of times with varied results. I usually pick the women that are just as outgoing as me or at least open minded. |
| leamas | The woman I am with now was and is the most soul fulfilling experience I have ever had. I am finally complete. I met her walking down a hall, I did not know her, nor was I likely to have ever to talk to her after that day. For some reason, and this is on all that is holy, I told her, "I cannot stop looking at you. I am drawn to you. Can we meet for coffee. Oh by the way my name is *** what is yours?" It didn't necessarily work right then, but it drew her attention at my heart for her. We did date and it continues. |
| kevin urenda | nope. Wallflower. big-time. |
| Misti | My love life has never been better. These past few months have been among the darkest, most wretched of my entire life, and there have many tears and arguments. We've both come close more than once to throwing the towel in. I don't have the most romantic, glamorous marriage in the world but I am so grateful to be married to my best friend, a man who makes me laugh and teaches me new things on a daily basis. A man who has read more books than I have and has all the character and integrity and boundless love that I could ever hope to find in another human being. I am blessed beyond belief and for the first time in two years I'm really starting to feel and cherish that fact. |
| deevaa | VERY well thankyou. *grin* |
| Max-Rom | Interesting, ....yeah. I can say that I am so happy that I finally got her to take me back. Not that broke up on bad circumstances before. I started college and she was still in high school...so, we thought it was mutually better to take some time to be friends, being that we could neither see nor talk as we once did. I was so scared of asking her to take me back that I wrote it on a piece of paper...in the same room. What a dork. Anyways, we are attending the same school now and things are peachy. Why do you think I have posted more poems? I am a hopeless romantic y'know? There's my two centavos. :) |
| Inflatable Sushi | ask me no questions and i'll tell you no lies |
| jackryhme | very umm complex...?? |
| RennieLorca | hi ..... (tap-tap-tap) ... this thing on? Ah, how's my "love life these days?" -------------------- Sorry, bounced again! Oh, off the monitor! Well, how's my love life (ahem) ... well, ah ... I've been meaning to assess that lately, and .... hold-on while I get a soda. AFK ... brb ... HEH! .. back again! ... How's my love life? I saw Jack write something about "complex" .. I never saw a sailor use the word "complex" before. I need to look that up and see if it is some kinda nautical term I never heard before. .... What was the quesiton again? ... Oh, right! How's my love life? Would you repeat that question and be a bit more specific? I mean ... I have gotten used to going in chat rooms and getting the "asl" question (boy, did I have some fun with that question at times), but I just don't have an answer for your question right now. Hello? Hello? You survey folks! Just like telemarketers! Could I just make a donation, write you a check, and not have to answer this one? Wait, Captain has an answer! ... WHOA! NO! NO! NO! ... nevermind! LOL |
| Jon | My love life is great. Everything is so great when love is all brand new. But I'm finding that's it getting harder and harder to write as we get deeper into this relationship. I really admire those that can write beautiful poetry while in the mists of love at it's highest. I seem to only be good at writing the sad and depressing moments of love and loss...hopefully that will change. Anyway I'm way off topic, my love life is wonderful. |
| Violet | My love life is sublime. He loves me as I am, supports me, and believes in me. He's brilliant, sexy, funny, and so caring. I'm MAD with blissful love! :-P |
| Kirk | s'good! Which mean s'bad for getting me to write stuff 'cause I'm not just out to impress women... |
| Rhetoric | Oh...that is a relative statement. On my good days (MY good Days, not OUR good days) I can't imagine life without him. On my bad days, I want to run from everything and start over anonymously in an anonymous town. Overall, he is the person for me. He lets me be me - and that is a wonderful thing. Cuz I am one difficult person to love. |
| Bridget O | well i guess i'm the odd man/woman out because my love life in a word is nonexistant. hahaha well i guess i have a memory and thats the extent of my lovelife. i'm so weird. i broke up with him so why do i still feel attached to him after all these months? ahhhhhhh i hate him and then i love him it's one of those love/hate things only he doenst know it b/c he has the capacity to MOVE ON which i cant seem to do even though i have the perfect person for me right in front of my face so uh i duno u figure it out!!!:S:S:S |
| TJ Holland | I like this question. Just two days ago I did something that I had refused to do in a couple of years, something I could not bring myself to do with anyone else I had dated. I actually committed myself and my heart to ONE man. It wasn't hard. Not with him. He's everything I've waited for. Life is divine. Love is sublime. |
| spaded | As far as romantic love goes, I have met and fallen in love with my best friend. The problem being he has met and learned to love his best friend (me) in a best friend kind of way. Oh when past decisions cause regret. I am just thankful to have met him, and I am actually happy with the "progression" of our relationship. Though it took a short while to come to terms with being friends, I have managed to find someone else worth dating. Now I know what a man worth dating really is thanks to my new best friend. So if that makes sense, I guess it's not much of a "Love Life", but I am content |
| muryan | Well, since my writing has become less and less, since I have not inspiration, my first guess would be that I have no love life right now. Unless you count the love I have for my cat and dog, then well it's pretty good love triangle there. But this was a good question Kirk. Kudos. |
| BeckyAnn1110 | my love life... it hurts. I'm the "bad guy" in the relationship because even though I love him, he's got stuff to deal with and it's killing me that he's ignoring it. I can't stand by and watch him drown himself, so I decided to take a break from him... he doesn't understand it hurts me to be away from him, but that what he's not doing hurts me more. To watch a person you love self-destruct on some levels and try everything to help and be unable to do a thing is the most helpless feeling I've ever felt... so that's my love life!! Love hurts, plain and simple! |
| Liz | my love life is a mess...I love one man for the past we've shared, and I can't bring myself to hurt him, and I love another for the excitement I feel when I am with him, for the hope and possibilities and the future I imagine with him. But do I deserve happiness if I have to hurt someone to get it? I wish love was a door you could pull shut when you need to, and open again only at will. |
| whisper | my love life is unreciprocated. im in love with a girl who is one of my best freinds and she is in love with another of my best freinds. and to top it all off, she told me that she plans to wait as long as it takes to get him to marry her. woe is me. i am doomed to wander the world loveless and alone till the end of my days |
| La Corazon Roto | My love life would be much better if I could actually see the person I have strong feelings for...I'm not saying its bad-but it could be better! |
| Savannah Haze | Wonderful! Today (September 1st) is my 1st anniversary wiht my wonderful husband, John. |
| spaceman | the pits, thank you very much. I am a miserable bastard. |
| muryan | Spaceman, I think you need a pet. ;) |
| spaceman | I don't know that a pet could stand me these days.... |
| indefatigable sushi | I haven't bought an issue of Barely Legal Lesbians in, oh, two months. 'Nuff said. |
| Liz | Winter. The candles, snow falling outside the window, wrapped up in blankets on lazy weekend days in front of the fireplace...nothing beats it. And there's Christmas, New Year's Eve and Valentine's Day, can't ask for more romance than that! |
| Misti | Autumn is my favorite season but I guess winter is the best season for romance, even though in East Texas we didn't have much of a winter. We had an awesome time in NYC last December, though...walking around Little Italy and browsing The Strand and seeing the big tree at Rockefeller. Riding the subway,which was thrilling to me, and then going to Grand Central Station and taking the train back home. And browsing the little shops in Cold Spring and drinking hot chocolate with tiny marshmallows. This winter will be especially romantic because we live in a place that has snow and mountains. And I hear the farolitos are pretty awesome around Christmas time. |
| Echolocation | Winter: Fireplaces, apple pie, flannel, snowball fights, hot chocolate with a smidge of schnapps, crystal stars and icy air, blue-white nights under a full moon...*sigh* |
| Hcat | Winter - ... Snow gleaming in moonlight, wrapped up in a blanket with my love to stay warm, gazing out at clear dark skies filled with beautiful stars, the tantilizing aroma of supper in the oven, the serenity in the quiet stillness as the country sleeps, the idea spending all night cuddled for warmth... definitely winter. |
| Kirk | Fall, when all nature slips into its annual coma? Feh. Winter? That land of snow and ice and days that if you blink you miss daylight? (I know, so what am I doing this far north) Spring? Gettin' there. The return of tanktops is always welcome. But finally, I gotta give the nod to summer, where wistful summer associations of summer camp combine with Mo wearing less clothes. Like the Indigo Girls said "I can go crazy on a night like tonight...when summer's begining to give up her fight" |
| chris | Spring. |
| muryan | There is something about walking through the Colorado mountains in Fall with a guy you adore.The trees are turning into golds and reds and oranges against the clear blue sky. The air is crisp while the sun is warm and there is a light breeze flirting with your hair. The air is so clean and it makes me feel alive and then there is the chill in the air that makes you want to move closer to your significant other so he can warm you up. Camping in the autumn is absolutely to die for. I guess you can say that Fall is my favorite time of the year, romantically and otherwise. Good thing since Halloween is my favorite holiday. |
| spaceman | Fall in New England is the most romantic to my mind, the crackling leaves, the fireplace, cool nights and great food. But summer is by far the sexiest season... |
| Jon | Over here in Southerin California in the Orange County region summer would have to be the most romantic time of year for me. The days are long, the temperture is a hot and steamy and cold and relaxed at night. And like Kirk said it leads to my g/f wearing less clothes. Nothing beats spending the whole day at the beach. Trying to stay cool during the day and cuddling by the campfire at night. Ahhh...(insert pop summer song here). |
| Inflatable Sushi | jon, i hear ya brother!...californy here i come, goin' back to Cali...California Girls, California Dreamin', Californication - CALIFORNIA is MY favorite 12-month season of the year for good lovin! Hooo--eeey! U-Reek-A! |
| Ali | Fall...With all the leaves turning colors. Everything looks so pretty. Though, I also must admit that I love summer too...*smile* |
| CryingShame58 | Now for me this is complicated! When the seasons change I find that this causes me to be the most romantic...Also when there are extremes...like when it is the coldest or the hottest...The changes and extremes cause me to feel witty and frisky! The greatest ideas seem to pop into my head... |
| soulwolf | favorite season romatically? well I'd have to say that they all have their good sides. in summer, which I think is my favorite, everyone seems happier overall, and I'm all about that. Winter, probably the least fav. is a good time to keep those you love warm, but seems to be the most trying for relationships. Spring, a time of new growth and pretty things, but theres a lot of rain. Autumn all those different colors starting to show... could be good, could be bad. but yeah, summer definately, especially in california!!!! or at least one day there! (devilish smile for those with inside information) |
| jackryhme | the change of seasons when its not one nor the other yet holds both memories and promise of what is yet to be and what has already past |
| Misti | Yes. Some people just feel absolutely right. There's no denying the "click." Usually there's no rhyme or reason to it. I think you can have more than one over the course of your lifetime. It doesn't always work out. But while you're going through it the connection is so powerful and real you never forget it. |
| Bridget O | I think to some extent "soul mates" can exist, but not every one finds his or her soul mate. some people just have a vision in their minds of what he/she should be like and search only for that person, when really the right person is right under their noses. if that makes ne sence. |
| Violet | Yes. There are many compatible people out there, but just once in a very blue moon do two twin souls align. If it happens to you, thank your lucky stars and hold on tight. That's my piece anyway. |
| urbntofu | At first, I used to think that no, there is no such thing as "soulmates." I believed that there is an array of personality traits which together, define the "ideal" mate, and there are indeed many of them out there that fit the mold. But, over the years, I thought about it... and have now come to the conclusion that, yeah, there is a specific type of person you are attracted to, and though there are many that "tickle your fancey", only ONE of them is destined to be with you. If not, why did the powers of fate bring the two of you together to create this haven called true love? Per chance, maybe? I highly doubt it. |
| Galadrial | NNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! The concept has been DONE TO DEATH by predators---Soul Mate has replaced "wanna see my etchings?" in the swingers lingo...it preys upon the one thing we all long for---to be completely unique and special in all the world... A THOUSAND times no--- |
| Kirk | No way. The concept is really offensive to any past relationship you've had. If you believe in "soulmates" and it's a good relationship, then you probably think "this is my soulmate". And then if the relationship comes apart, you think "well, I was wrong, gotta go look for my soulmate" and whatever you had is lost in this taint of not having been the soulmate. I think maybe the poet Jack Gilbert had it right when he said everyone can be truly in love 4 times in a lifetime, though I wouldn't take it totally literally, it's an interesting thought about the human capacity for deep relationships over the course of time. |
| Just Some Girl | Yes, I believe in the soulmate concept. Hasn't everyone experienced that coming undone feeling when you meet that certain someone? What makes that person different that all those that came before, or come after? |
| Jon | I don't know. I guess we'll all find out when we die haha. |
| deevaa | I think it is like applying for a job, there are a certain number of jobs (men) out there that are suitable for you, some you'd do better at, others would just be boring.... you have to weed out the boring ones, and find the one that suits you -- of course sometimes your skills and needs change over the years and another job would be perfect for you, sometimes your job grows and develops with you. or something... |
| spaded | Well of course everyone has a soulmate. That doesn't taint past relationships in my view. It is just a fact of life. You may never meet your soulmate (in this life time). I don't even believe in twin souls, I believe in half a soul, occasionally you find someone whose half soul is compatible with yours. Some people get even luckier and find the other half of thier soul. If you never meet the person carrying around the rest of your soul, but you find someone you are compatible with, it's not like your missing anything. Unless you meet the other half of your soul, you might think it is in the person you are with. Hell you might even meet the rest of your soul, but karma keeps you apart until 20 lifetimes down the road. The point is enjoy life, enjoy love, live decently and don't be so concerned about it. That would be torture. Just my opinion.... spaded |
| Liz | I don't believe a soul mate has to be a lover or mate, I believe my soul mate is my best friend, who is a gay man. He understands me, he anticipates my feelings and thoughts, and we think and see things the same way, without fail. WE met when we were 11 years old, and we have seen each other through all the ups and downs of our lives, without judgment, without reservation we have always been there for each other. We often say that it's God's joke that we found our soul mates, except we can't have sex...I wouldn't trade what I have with him for anything. |
| muryan | Oh. My gosh. I have been waiting for this question. Okay not really, but I like this question. Having numerous past lives I absolutely feel with all my heart that I have a soulmate. I just haven't come across him yet in this lifetime. Yet, I feel that we had a past love laced with sorrow, I'm not going to go into it. You'll think I'm wierd. Anyway, I do absolutely believe in soulmates. |
| chris | Yoko Ono: "Every man has a woman who loves him/In rain or shine or life or death/If he finds her in this lifetime/ He will know when he presses his ear to her breast." |
| Inflatable Sushi | zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz |
| leamas | The concept of having a soul mate is cute. Cute in the Eddie Haskel sort of way. The idea is insincere and corny. To be a 'soul mate' one would have to know the other individual completely and be intertwined with them emotionally. With that said I have never met an individual who knew themselves completely and therefore the concept of soul mates is impossible. One cannot have a soul mate if they can't even understand themselves. Sure quirks and habits can be understood and even memorized, but a well trained monkey could do that. Who cares anyways, love is over rated. Soul mates only happen in the movies, but then again I don't see anyone talking about getting into a set of colored tights and a cheezy bike helmet and fighting rubber monsters who are trashing a fake model city (power rangers are cool). Thanks for your time.---LEAMAS |
| scqueen | Obviously the non-believers have not experienced a soul mate because when you find one there is absolutely no doubt. I also believe there can be more than one, and I'm with Liz, they can definately be a friend. |
| kevin urenda | I'm with Whitney... although my FIRM belief is that if two people are both compatible and dedicated enough to one another, they will have a longer and more fulfilling relationship as lovers than 'soul-mates.' Besides, I think that the very concept of soulmates is so individual that it makes little difference if you convince yourself of the possibility or not. There ARE people in this world who will always be more compatible with our souls... These are our dear friends, in the long run. |
| Misti | The idiotic movie formula that goes something like this: man and woman hook up man and woman break up 'cause the man thinks he can do better man realizes he can't do better and makes a beeline to the woman who gratefully takes his sorry ass back examples: "Officer and a Gentleman," "Jerry Maguire," "Pretty Woman." |
| spaceman | Forbidden love...not because it isn't true or powerful, but because it causes so many damned problems. My ex-girlfriend's favorite movie was about a million hours long, she taped it off tv, about a priest and some woman in Australia, and she thought it was the saddest thing, and in spite of myself, so did I. |
| Kirk | That I am one (a romantic, that is ;-) In terms of romance itself, probably the idea that there's one great love. |
| Inflatable Sushi | The poet. |
| Rhetoric | those that pretend they don't need it to be happy the lonesome soul is very overdone |
| TJ Holland | Well, definately anything that combines candles, flowers, dinner for two, and a heart shaped box of chocolates. These things are fine individually, with spontaneitey, but as a whole...well BARF!!!!! And then (to comiserate with Misti) equally disgusting is: Woman and man accidentally meet Woman has violet eyes Man has steel grey eyes Attraction between the two occurs Woman is too independant (read: too dysfunctional) to be attracted to man Woman forces herself to hate man Man is confused Man starts hating woman for making him confused Man goes about his business Woman becomes confused Woman runs from man Woman winds up in peril Man saves woman Woman beats fists upon man's chest Man embraces woman tightly Woman cries and runs from man Man searches and finds woman Man confesses his love to confused woman Woman confesses love to frustrated man Marriage True romance is being 80 with your spouse and sharing the dentures. HA!! |
| RainbowChaser | romantics are not always men, but when i find a good male romantic..i WILL hold onto him |
| deevaa | that you can lie face to face in bed and have any akward sticky out limbs! (what are you meant to do with the underneth arm? LOL) |
| spaded | That a true romantic must write sappy poetry, and sing puppy love songs under your window at two in the morning in the pouring rain, and send you flowers all the time for no reason, and never forget anything about your relationship...etc. etc... There are so many. I am a hopeless romantic at heart, but I am lucky to remember my current love interests middle name. And if a guy brought flowers to my window at two in the morning in the pouring rain to sing me love songs and read me romantic poetry... Well ok maybe once would be pretty mind boggling, but after that I think i'd be pissed, I mean that's pretty late you know? I would probably lean towards looney in a lock my doors and windows kind of way, as opposed to romantic, make sense? love, hugs, and one long slow kiss ( yeah to you) spaded |
| Hcat | Tragic. Once-in-a-lifetime love found, then lost, and to go on with life without living, always mourning the memory, never moving on. Alone. Empty. ugh. I love you, Dimples, but I gotta say, If I lost you, I'd mourn, and move on. I'd get on with life. I'd never forget, tho..... ever. |
| Bridget O | i hate the Romeo and Juliet type of story. I mean it was a good story and all but theres a reason why it was fiction. Juliet was 13 for god's sake and she killed herself over her first love. If we all did that well there wouldn't be overpopulation! Eck. |
| Just Some Girl | Rich boy, poor girl. Or, vice versa. Too much money makes him/her shallow until poor girl/boy shows the way to true happiness!!! See "Pretty in Pink." |
| Liz | That love conquers all, because sometimes, it most assuredly does not! |
| RennieLorca | Guys always asking: "Can I pet that?" (my peruvian guinea pig -- when they didn't have a clue what it was) "Can I pet that?" (my stallion or horses) "Can I pet that?" (my wolves, coyote, foxes, etc.) "Can I pet that?" (my dogs and domestic animals) "Can I hug that?" (my trees, my mother) "Can I pet and/or hug that?" (me) I really love great pick-up lines but like smiles better ..... Rennie |
| Misti | I don't remember. I was usually the one approaching the guys. I remember asking Brian if his birthday was in February because I thought he was an Aquarian. Jay gave me a running list of all the cheesy lines he'd used on various women. "Are you tired? 'Cause you've been runnin' through my mind all day long." That's the only one I remember. I read Chris's personal ad at Yahoo. He was looking for a pen pal in the Southwest. I was intrigued because he was from New York. So I sent him an e-mail. He e-mailed me back but I was dating other guys at the time and didn't really pay attention. I had told him about the Blender. So one day I read a poem by this mojave character and I thought,"Damn! He's good." I was so wOwed I sent him an e-mail. I later discovered that he was the New Yorker from Yahoo. We'll be married two years December 29th. |
| spaded | Well, I've only had one pick up line used on me. It was extremely lame and what made it so fun was I had a quick come-back. Very rare for me. He said "Where have you been all my life?" I told him in his dreams if they were any good. I am so proud, but how sad one pick up line ever, and I go out often. |
| scqueen | I had a guy walk by me and whisper in my ear, "You look edible" and keep on walking. Nobody panic, it was about 10 years ago - but it stuck. |
| Liz | "You dance like a dream...and I b et you @#!$! like one, too..." needless to say, that got him nowhere...but my favorite, the silliest and one of the msot famous ever, is the old standby, "Are those space pants? Because your ass is out of this world..." |
| Jon | "You have a girlfriend? Oh I don't mind, let's be friends." Yeah...right. |
| deevaa | Him: Is Osman your boyfriend? Me: No Him: Is Abdul your boyfriend? Me: No Him: Do you have a boyfriend? Me: No Him: How does one apply? Me: Dinner and flowers. Him: Wednesday night ok for you? (yeah it worked, we got married 6mths later) |
| jackryhme | strangest at least... in singapore with friends sitting along a counter along a wall, she and a cuple of others walked in and sat along the same wall just behind me. she leaned back and made herself comfortable against my back and was small and petite enough i doubt if my friends saw, well she smelled good, was soft, warm and beautiful so i found i really didnt mind, after a little while of this she then rubbed a line along her side that was so close to my skin i felt the trail of her fingers along her flesh... not to be out done i did the same close enough to feel the heat of her through my finger tips lol she one upped me by making contact with my side with her hand and rubbing it the same way, i answerd back in kind with my hand on her thigh... now you have to picture this, all this contact was beyond anyones sight under that counter high up on the wall. with us two petting hotter and hotter all the while lol when she grabbed my hand and drug me out of the bar thats all my friends ever knew or saw ... so ... is silence and only touch to be considerd as a pick up line? |
| Kirk | I can't remember any pickup lines in the classic sense of being said by someone I didn't know, though "R" of the R&K Carousel had a penchant for quoting some great lines from other places: "Coffee tea or me?" from an old book I think, and "Take me to bed or lose me forever" from Top Gun. They were part of the reconnections we made from time to time. And in the archive you can see "Have another cherry" from Witches of Eastwick, which I totally missed. |
| Just Some Girl | Did your Daddy go to jail for stealing the stars from the sky and putting them in your eyes? |
| Rhetoric | Never really had anyone try and pick me up before. Hmmm, I thought I was lucky - turns out I am just not a hottie! Oh well...I am not worried. |
| Savannah Haze | Heh heh... I got this one: "Got any Latino in ya? Ya want some?" Then there was the one who used the same line except he said "Irish." Well, I'm Irish so I said, "Um, yeah." He had no idea where to go next. |
| Ali | "Oh my god...I thought I knew, but I don't. So what is your name?" There's a story behind that, but it way too long to type. It happened this morning. *shakes head* Do I have a sign on me that says 'pick me up?' lol |
| equate_me | Here's one: "Do you sleep on your side? - Can I?" I know, stupid |
| Bridget O | "Nice Pants" is always humorous(since i wear very large, baggy pants and..... "So, what do you like for breakfast??" |
| Galadrial | I think I really really need to kiss you. Shut up. (ok...it worked. I kissed him...may he rest in peace...:)) |
| B.K. | On a tour bus once a guy came up to me and said, "I can tell you the exact day you were born. I said ok when and he told me my birthdate which was the same day that he was born. We went out for coffee in between the tour and he showed me his world champion bull riding medal and then asked me to come live on his ranch with him in Florida..ha I had to decline. But what a character. |
| Melissa | Lets see, it would have to be: "Can I check your tag? (meaning the one on my shirt)Just as I thought, made in heaven." There have been alot of those kinds, and everyone had probably heard them all at least twice so I wont go into detail of their cheesiness. But you get my drift. |
| splatipus | "So, which end of the bath do you sit at?" |
| TJ Holland | I was walking to the bank one lunch hour. He was walking behind me, heading the same direction. He was waiting to use the machine (I thought). But when I was done he came up to me, shaking like a leaf and said, "Everything about you is perfect. Perfect. The tone of your skin, your thick curly dark hair, the way you walk, the muscles in your legs, your dark eyes. Everything. I am terrified. I am stunned. I am shaking. Don't say anything, just take my card. You don't ever have to call me, but even as scared as I am, I couldn't let you go without keeping a little hope alive." I have never forgotten the reaction I caused in this man when he saw me. It was the ultimate compliment. And the ultimate lesson on the power of being a woman. And since then I have always thought how truly brave he was to do what he did, considering how he felt. |
| drew1977 | flattered, lost oportunity |
| Savannah Haze | Yes, I have, fairly recently. It hasn't vaulted me into some sort of lovelorn upheaval, but it frustrates me in retrospect. I'm very happily married and I know this guy isn't someone I would have had a lasting relationship with, but DAMN it could have been fun for a little while. |
| Nonitta | I always feel flattered at first...then regret that it never came out. Who knows what would have happened? |
| TJ Holland | Yeah. It wasn't a good thing. It was a very angering revelation and it made me want to strangle the life out of some thing/one..... After he left, but before the divorce was final, my ex said he'd made a big mistake in asking for a divorce. Said he still loved me and wanted things back the way they were. I said 'No Way In Hell - I Warned You, Begged You, Not To Do It' but you did, so I went on with my life. That was 2 years ago. Three days ago he told me he wanted to ask me out this week. JEEZE!!!!!!!! (I'm very happily involved with the Best Man In The World (yup, sorry ladies, he's taken), so it was no contest) |
| Violet | Sort Of. I have an old ex that recently hinted that he shouldn't have let me go... that his biggest mistake was not letting our love grow... Sure, he tells me now that there's a rock on my finger. OY. Why do men do that?? Of course I love my fiance more than I can explain... so it was never any sort of consideration. But it got under my skin a little. |
| splatipus | At the time, I fancied the pants off him. So when I found out that he felt the same way, years later, there was a bit of regret at the lost opportunity. However, if I'd got together with him, I probably wouldnt have met my husband who I love to bits. I suppose its all a bit 'Sliding Doors' |
| Kirk | I think guys tend to be more on the outlook for potential romance that gals, so for me it generally took the form of someone I had flirted with just a little mighta reciprocated if I had gone with a little more gusto. So I find out when I sort of hint more about my feelings for them, and they tell me there had been a chance. One was right at the end of highschool before we headed off to college, and the other was a dormmate after a school year at college. So mostly I regret the lost possibilities...they were both funny, artistically talented, and cute. |
| Misti | I don't remember. There was this one guy from Alaska who told me straight up that he wanted to get to know me better. This was over tacos. It's funny because I had lusted after him the previous week. But suddenly I was frightened by the intensity in his eyes. I wasn't sure I wanted to have sex with him. He was too skinny and had one tattoo too many. I'm usually the one who is attracted to someone. It is rare that someone is attracted to me. I'm a strange girl. Better left alone. |
| Inflatable Sushi | feelings and emotions are the opiate of the masses |
| Misti | Um...no. Chris wants me to dress up as a French maid this Halloween. The last time I dressed up as a French maid I was thirteen. My friend's mom made me stuff my bra for OOMPH. Hussy. |
| RennieLorca | Yes, I get real creative with a sheet ... but not just Halloween ..... Rennie |
| Savannah Haze | Heck, no, but I share the same experience as Misti... A boyfriend bought me a lingerie/ french maid outfit several years ago... It wasn't for Halloween, though... It consists of a black lace teddy with a tie around sheer shirt, lace wrist cuffs and a lace tie around choker. I never wore it; just couldn't do it. If you decide to fill your man's wishes, I will GIVE it to you. I've never even tried it on. I want it out before my husband finds it and wants me to wear it.. :) |
| Kirk | Ehh, probably not in the way the question is implying, but I wouldn't have dressed in drag for that one halloween kid's parade (playing tuba) if it wasn't for my girlfriend then (actually it was a lot of her clothes). The thing is I look *a lot* like my mom, so put my hair under a do-rag, gimme a skirt, some makeup, and a stuffed bra, and I'm pretty dang convincing. (As one little child at the parade put it..."*that's a MAAAAN?????*"--yeah, now go away kid ya bother me) |
| Liz | I've been the french maid in the past, with great success ( I actually had the costume left over from my Rocky Horror days...)but this year my man wants me to be a cheerleader...a naughty one at that. I'll probably feel silly, but it could work... |
| Champagne | When we were in high school, my boyfriend (later my husband) - had me dress up in his football uniform - so I had him dress up in my Majorette (twirling) uniform. His hairy muscular legs were a riot. It was cold that night, and he was freezing, but I was nice and warm. He kept complaining that it was too windy for him. He wore a wig and was rather accomodating about the whole thing - lipstick and all. |
| B.K. | Once we went out dressed up, well he was the Hunchback of Notre Dame and I was Esmerelda. I had a long black curly wig and nothing on but a purple silk slinky night gown. That was pre Madonna hahah. Boy did we get the attention that night. Another time I wore a black mask and cape and hat as Zorro. They went crazy trying to figure out who I was. (That was fun) |
| spaceman | SOMEONE thinks I should dress up as her old crush FrankNFurter for Halloween....but it ain't gonna happen. |
| TJ Holland | The soft, quiet moments between climbing between the sheets and falling asleep. This is the time to talk in low tones, touch, listen to breathing, feel heartbeats, kiss, laugh, make love or make plans. This is beauty. |
| Cyan | In the evening, just as the sun is setting. It's the end of the day, but not quite. Not yet. A time for solitude and reflection. And that warm light that breaks through the window. It lays out the scene for many possibilities. ; ) |
| Violet | Night. The still quiet, the soft calm. And yet, there's something thrilling about the dark too. This is a time rarely cluttered with errands and mindless tasks. At night, I can unwind, let loose, whatever I please. It's also nice to be wrapped in someone's arms as I fall asleep. |
| spaceman | In the winter it's the evening, before bedtime, in front of the fire talking or not, kissing or not, just relaxing and being comfortable in the presence of another person is a miracle for me, and I find that more romantic than what comes after. |
| splatipus | Sunsets, looking at the stars and moonlit sky, staying up for the sunrise. I'm definately a nightime person. |
| Bridget O | At night, outside when it's a little chilly, looking up at the moon and stars. just...because, i guess:) |
| Misti | Sunrise but I rarely see it. I get home from work at 3:45 a.m. and eat a quick dinner then get in bed and read. But the other day I made myself get up just after sunrise to take pictures of the hot air balloons. It was sublime. |
| Kirk | Yikes, I dunno. Night I guess, but before it gets too too late so everyone's sleepy... |
| Nonitta | I think the time inbetween dinner and bedtime....around 6 to 9 or so. Just because it seems to be the most relaxed part of the day. And relaxing means having time to cuddle and not worrying about the rest of the world. |
| drew1977 | Anytime it is raining, being able to sit outside without even noticing you are soaking wet, totally consumed in your own thoughts |
| Savannah Haze | Dammit, ANYTIME, just DO something!!! I'm gonna implode here!!! |
| Champagne | The most romantic time of the day is late late late into the night - when the whole world is asleep - and you walk outside in the dark - the pitch black of the sky - with the twinkling of the stars smiling down upon you...... Just you, the stars, and a pale moon. No sounds, other than your breathing and the faint whisper of leaves brustling against a slow warm breeze. |
| myuhworld | That time between the break of day and the sun rising, Before the frost has melted and the fury of the day disturbed the quiet. My husband and child still asleep. I crawl back into bed and he pulls me close and... |
| TJ Holland | PERSONALLY: The '90's ~ Because I was older and wise enough to know how to enjoy things. ie: more self-confidence, less reliance on others, far less desperation to be loved and more ability to love myself, a knowledge of what I really wanted and truly needed, the courage to be sexy and risky and nasty and sweet, the patience to let things unfold on their own and the wisdom to dump the loosers. SOCIALLY: The '50's ~ Because people were sweet back then. They had a conscience and treated people kindly. Guys got nervous, but asked anyway, girls got brave but blushed anyway. Holding hands made a heart beat faster. A kiss on the lips was earthshaking. A ring was commitment and you meant it. He tried real hard to set up a good life to share with whomever he'd marry BEFORE he met her. She made sure she didn't share EVERYTHING with anybody but the guy she'd marry. Things meant something. |
| Misti | Superficially I would have to say the '50s because "I Only Have Eyes For You" makes me crazy and the women went around in red lipstick and tight sweaters and skirts and the guys were all like John Travolta in "Grease." Then again, I wish I had seen the Doors at the Whiskey in L.A. I would have been Jim Morrison's groupie from HELL. And I would have loved to have seen Hendrix work his magic at Woodstock and Joplin and Redding work theirs at Monterrey Pop. I would have been a really good hippie chick. There is nothing romantic about the 70s. My mom and dad had sex. I was conceived and born. I had a crush on Mr. Rogers and that chubby guy who played the banjo on "Hee Haw." Oh, and Captain Kangaroo. I found father figures on TV and felt those oh so icky Electra-ish feelings.The 80s were good. I fell in love with a guy named Matt and wrote stories about us in which he was King Matthew and I was Queen Velvet. I lost my virginity and met Chris and a few other choice specimens in the 90s. Yeah, definitely the 90s. The most horrible, beautiful decade of my life. The theme song would have to be "Regulator" by Warren G. Oops. Chris just told me I met him in 2000. That's right. And we got married that year. Well, the 00s aren't a choice. |
| jimmyallgrownup | I'm going to have to venture a bit outside of the box on this one, O Captain My Captain Kirk . . . My decade would be the 90's . . . the 1590s, that is. Why? Three words, compadres: men in tights. Plus you had that Renaissance-thing going on - the grand flowering of the arts, the birth of modern science, Europe's freeing itself from a Dark Ages imposed by the organized religion of the time (God is love. Yeah, right) . . . oh, and a whole lot of cute men in tights. |
| Kirk | Since all romance is subjective, I'd have to say the 90s. It started with my first and last great simple romance with the German chick, had a middle filled up with my huge unrequited love (see the Rosetta chronicles...) and ended up very happily with Mo. But beyond that, I'm fond of the 90s. I like how much trouble they had working out their identity to begin with, kind of ended up with a mishmash, and then there was that terrific economic boom (that we're still recovering from.) Every decade has its romantic cliches, from the 40s GIs and their sweethearts, to the 50s sweet and innocent teeny boppers, to the 60s hippy freelove, to the 70s disco nights, to the 80s punk and new wave trying to make sense of a Reagan world... |
| looking4sara | In retrospect, I believe the 90's had to have been the most romantic of the last half of the century. In all fairness, I lived the majority of my life in the 90's and have met the girls of myy life in the time described. The younger gen in the 90's had a little problem w/ disillusionment and all we had to fall back on was our own sincerety(?) and emotions. IN a decade in which we had no faith in our government, institutions of learning, faith, and community we had to find a dependency; love. That's just what I think, I could and probably am wrong. |
| B.K. | persimmon and turquoise woven tightly against each other in the most intricate patterns. mmm YES! |
| Misti | It would be all shades of red. Blood red because of the pain and loss so often involved. Maraschino cherry red because of the sweetness. Neon red because of love's transiency. Camaro red 'cause love takes you down some strange highways at a hair whippin' speed. |
| Savannah Haze | Well, according to Steven Tyler, passion is pink. Mick Jagger's heart is painted black. Red was the obvious but that's already been done. Can I say clear? Guess I just did. I just think it's appropriate. |
| Kirk | I dunno, blue maybe? I don't assoaciate with sadness, but with comfort and happiness. |
| starrgazer | love for me would have to be a lush, deep, crushing purple |
| tj holland | Pale pale liquid sun yellow |
| spaded | If love were just a color, it would be a lot easier for me to deal with, that's what it would be for me...lol. |
| galadrial | Oh...i think cobalt blue....I run in shades of blue. the call it the healer shade...;) |
| Jon | Gray. |
| Lydia | I prefer to interpret the question as if love were representative of a color - what would it be. That being my take on it...I would say love is green (the green of Kentucky blue-grass). Green is cool and serene. Green wraps itself around your body and protects you. That is love...to me. |
| CryingShame58 | As a child my Daddy told me that our kisses were colors and each time we exchanged kisses that we would have to tell the other what color it was...each kiss orginated from love so I will have to say that love can't possibly be just one color...love is too complex and infinite to be just one color.... |
| jackryhme | clear... no not color-less but crystal clear as in so many things one can say... |
| Inflatable Sushi | burnt sienna |
| Champagne | If love were a color - it would be "yellow". Yellow is cheerful, bright and happy. Yellow is refreshing and exhillarating. Yellow sunshine brightes each day, lemonade is both sweet and tart, yellow butterflies make you feel light and free to fly, yellow bumble bees are fascinating, but watch out for that "sting", Yellow roses - rare and special, Yellow balloons for festive occasions, Yellow butter to make everything taste yummmy - like buttered popcorn, a yellow sun dress, a yellow daisy (he loves me, he loves me not), a yellow buttercup neath the chin of one you love, the yellow-gold glitter of a ring, the yellow skin of a banana, which peels so slowly to reveal the fragrant sweet fruit, the yellow-honey sticky sweet treat, the yellow finch so tiny and carefree, and most of all - the world is filled with large amounts of green (plants, grass, trees, leaves, etc) and large amounts of blue (the sky and the sea) - but "Yellow" is so very rare - like true love - which is hard to find, and even harder to hold onto. Last of all - Champagne - with its yellow-amber glow. |
| Bridget O | Love would be black like a heart because it knows it'll be broken at one point or another. sorry about being so dismal. |
| Bridget O | I would give him my heart, my undying love until the day i die. but alas, i cant. |
| Misti | I would give him a more stable, mentally healthy me. That would be more than enough. |
| emochino | a poem |
| splatipus | World Peace |
| RainbowChaser | Elocution..which one? I've been going thru so much lately..any one share similar sentiments? |
| Graysiren | I don't have anyone to give anything to |
| Violet | If I could give him anything... I'd give him a vineyard in southern france.(He's fascinated with wine/grapes/vines) Alas, there aren't any vineyards in my price range this year. :-) |
| Kirk | Optional immortality. (Which, btw, implies world peace, a cure for cancer, a fixed for the ecosystem, and all that good stuff.) |
| Savannah Haze | Health and peace of mind from the suffering he's endured. |
| Liz | I'd find a way to let him work at his dreams, rather than working on computer programs all day... |
| RainbowChaser | Hey! I want to thank star of david and elocution for your positive responses to my work. I'm going through a tough time right now, and i appreciate positive feedback..so i want to meet everyone..how do i go about doing that? |
| Kase | Handcuffs and a blindfold. We all need excitement. Oh don't forget the whipped creme..... we all need nourishment when we're hard at play. |
| spaded | my heart on a platter...seems they all stick a fork in it, in the end anyway..lol. |
| Violet | Of Course I want to kiss my wonderful fiance under the mistletoe.. (and I will!) but if it were a fantasy world (yadda yadda... ass saving disclaimers...) I would totally love to kiss George Clooney under the mistletoe. He's one fine specimen of man. |
| starrgazer | richie. |
| jimmyallgrownup | leamas |
| Liz | First and foremost, my man, but in fantasy land, I want to do the mouth tango with Kiefer Sutherland. Yum. |
| Misti | My husband. He's the best kisser I've ever known. But we're probably both allergic to mistletoe. In the realm of fantasy...Luke Wilson. I've been fixated on "The Royal Tenenbaums" lately. Best film I've seen in years. Even better than "Donnie Darko." |
| Kirk | Mo, or Madonna. |
| spaded | Mr. R. Spade, ughh, shoot me. Of course Madonna might be fun too...lol. |
| Bridget O | Colin Farrel hands down. or Vin Diesel. um um! |
| Savannah Haze | |
| Savannah Haze | My wonderful husband. |
| B.K. | Besides him Andrea Bocelli of course |
| Ali | OK, if we're talking fantasy--George Clooney. *contented sigh* That man just radiated sexy vibes. Now if we're talking everyday life, there is a certain unattainable somebody who I would love to catch under the mistletoe. *wistful sigh* No names will be named, to protect the innocent. *grin* |
| galadrial | hmmmm...I have a LIST...and in real life, I will NEVER tell...but Ali? You can have George after I make sure he's ROad worthy...but Russell Crowe...hmmmmm... |
| splatipus | Well I get to kiss hubby all the time. So I'm going to go into Fantasy Land. Hmmmm, now who shall I choose from my list? OK, I can narrow it down to 3. Colin Firth (as either of his Mr. Darcys) John Corbett (as Chris from Northern Exposure)or Bono (I like his attitude) |
| KrystalAJ | I would kiss my my best friend if given the chance, but in my fantasy Kevin Costner wins hands down!!! |
| Ali | I would like to add to my fantasty list two guys that people have mentioned. How could I forget Russell Crowe and Bono?! *smile* :) |
| deevaa | I can’t think of anyone really famous I want to snog. Maybe Denzel Washington. Or the guy who’s name I don’t know who plays Warick on CSI, he has amazing eyes. Hrumm…. How about one, (or both of) the brothers in six feet under? Hehe… ah Halle Berry? And yes, the guy from Northern Exposure. And Colin Firth, yes, I’ve always fancied myself as a bit of a Bridget Jones. Also the doctor character in Helen Fielding’s book ‘Cause Celeb’. .. or anyone of the good guys as written by Marian Keyes, esp Rajiv in ‘Last Chance Saloon’. And in a "I miss my friends from overseas kinda kiss" … my best friend Sarah, Gala, Ken, Don, Desi …my Mum and Dad… my brother, his wee son, my only nephew. |
| cryingshame58 | NO DOUBT ABOUT IT...FOR ME...IT WOULD BE BRUNO...BRUCE WILLIS |
| kevin urenda | now? Juliette Binoche... ever? Grace Kelly. |
| drew1977 | this girl i had a crush on about 7 years ago....never got a chance to kiss her but have always wanted to see how it would be. |
| jackryhme | ummm to those in the know... peaches? |
| Eternal | hey Daniela your amazing. i cant believe you. you know wot. your the best in this love blender. there is no one like you. keep up the good work. the blender keeper himself has acknowledged your work. |
| scqueen | In reality, my husband, Joe. In fantasyland, Aidan Quinn. |
| mysteriousone07 | I would most likely to just have a chance to kiss my long time crush for 5 years because (can't really tell). I just really wished that I can. |
| Chances are | Well, I could say my husband, Joe... that would be normal. I'm not... So I'll say, any guy I ever asked for a kiss or was told to kiss me or I hoped would kiss me and hugged me like a sister instead... even the ones that made romantic overtures... I was very inexperienced when younger and remain a bit shy even with age... I think that scared them off! What is it with men (or should that be boys)??? I'd settle for Michael Hutchence (INXS frontman) if he were still with the living. |
| tj holland | I have three Christmas songs that I have loved since I was a little girl. I'm not sure which versions they were, but my mom had this LP (that's a vinyl record, for you young'uns) with a bunch of Christmas songs on it...I would listen to "Little Drummer Boy", "Go Tell It On The Mountain" and "Do You See What I See" over and over and over again. |
| Misti | "Blue Christmas" by Elvis Presley. Or maybe "I'll Be Home For Christmas" by the Beach Boys. Too bad Buddy Holly never put out a Christmas album. Too bad Nirvana never put out a Christmas album. If Kurt Cobain had recorded an ironic rendition of "Silver Bells," why, that would have won me over hands down. |
| scqueen | Well, after the entire 'Elvis Christmas Album', I would have to say Stevie Nicks' version of 'Silent Night' from 'A Very Special Christmas'. It's absolutely chilling. |
| Just Some Girl | Sign in to turn on 1-Click ordering. Used & new from $6.89 Have one to sell? "The Dance of the Sugar Plum Fairy" from Tchaikovsky's Nutcracker, performed by the Philadelphia Orchestra (Eugene Normandy) because it reminds me of childhood. |
| Violet | Bing Crosby's 'White Christmas", Jewel's version of "O Holy Night" and Johnny Mathis' "Winter Wonderland" Oh and Barbara Streisand does a great Jingle Bells. :-) I adore Christmas music! |
| B.K. | John & Yoko and The Plastic Ono Band with the Harlem Community Chior singing "Happy Xmas (war is over)" This one makes me cry. If you can get your hands on "Have Yourself A Tractors Christmas" CD or MoJo Nixon I think it's X rated ha. Alas I think both are hard to come by. The first will make you smile and dance. The second is for fun and a wee bit naughty. (but you can dance to it too) ha |
| Kirk | "Sleigh Ride", the one they used to have in a GAP ad. I love the big brass "let's go blue" that comes in underneath. |
| lulu | cornnia- thanks you really made my day. it feels alot better to know im not the only one who feels like this. write me back plez p.s. here a quote from a song that i really like- "lately i feel dead inside, like all my guts have dried up and died"-alkaline trio's 'my little needle' LuLu |
| Tanqueray Cowboy | I don't know if it can be called a "Christmas" song per se but I think it's close enough... Jackson Browne's "The Rebel Jesus." (Recommended listening from the Tanqueray Cowboy) |
| Chances are | The Christmas Blessing - I get teary every time I hear it. May the feet of God walk with you, and his hand hold you tight. May the eye of God rest on you, and his ear hear your cry. May the smile of God be for you, and his breath give you life. May the Child of God grown in you, and his love bring you home. |
| shadowboxer | I personally hate christmas for the commercializd theme its disgrased itself for. However, there actually is a x-mas tune or two, that I dont mind hearing, just to boost me somewhat. The Waitresses-"christmas wrapping" Eartha Kitt-"Santa baby" The Jazzy theme they play in "A Charlie Brown Christmas" ...jingle bell rock never hurts, |
| shadowboxer | I personally hate christmas for the commercializd theme its disgrased itself for. However, there actually is a x-mas tune or two, that I dont mind hearing, just to boost me somewhat. The Waitresses-"christmas wrapping" , "its beginnning to look alot like christmas", by I at the moment completely forget who, and the whistling version of "Oh Christmas Tree" on the Corona Beer commercial, although I prefer the wholesome beachside setting, and comforting sky and wind, and trees in the commercial ( not making myseld a hypocrite about me 'buying' into anything, especially since I despise beer, and just love the motif of the commercial), since I used to be able to have that sweet nighttime beach feeling, scented wind and all. Last summer should have never ended. -ash vorpal_blades@hotmail.com Eartha Kitt-"Santa baby" The Jazzy theme they play in "A Charlie Brown Christmas" ...jingle bell rock never hurts, |
| shadowboxer | disgraced*...just in case someones wants to try and correct me, I beat you to it. |
| shadowboxer | ...as well as practically every song on Tim Burtons beautifully mastered film, "the Nightmare Before Christmas", which I admired completely since I first caught word of it...Dont fear, I dont fit in with the conventional holes who need to feel secure in some trend to find their place, which further stresses their facade. |
| CryingShame58 | Away In A Manger...it's like a lullaby...All year long I sang it to my children (babies) when I rocked them to sleep...Also one other favorite holds a special memory for me...My Father always liked Noel and would sing it loud and strong from the "Eve of Christmas Eve" through Christmas Day. |
| RennieLorca | One of my favs is: "Have Yourself A Merry Little Christmas" since I care so much for my friends ... but I'll gladly sing along with any merry, happy holiday song ..... Rennie |
| Inflatable Sushi | Christmas Kisses (by Ray Anthony & His Orchestra - great female vocals, very 60s - a Christmas Lounge Classic) All the other good ones were already picked. |
| Liz | "Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas" sung by just about anyone...also "I Believe in Santa Claus" from "A Year WIthout a Santa Claus..." |
| Echolocation | For the words - Adeste Fideles (O Come All Ye Faithful in Latin) because I like the formality and elegance of Latin. And I'm not Christian, so having it in a foreign language makes it easier to just enjoy the song and ignore the irrelevant bits! For the music - Angels We Have Heard on High, for the vocal aerobics in the chorus. |
| Echolocation | Ooh - forgot about Joan Jett and the Blackhearts' version of Little Drummer Boy. Most excellent. |
| spaceman | "Christmas is the Time to Say I Love You" by Billy Squier. |
| hms | In the Bleak Midwinter--both the music & the words are so spare and beautiful, and speak to a cold-climate New Englander! "In the bleak midwinter, frosty wind made moan earth stood hard as iron, water like a stone. Snow had fallen, snow on snow, snow on snow. In the bleak midwinter, long, long ago. * then a verse about the baby born in a stable..., then What shall I give him, poor as I am? If I were a shepherd, I would give a lamb. If I were a wise man, I would do my part, Yet what I have I give him, give my heart." |
| spaded | ok so it is not a christmas tune, but you are most likely to hear it at christmas....walking in a winter wonderland. as for a actual christmas tune, probably hark the herald angels sing |
| jimmyallgrownup | "Deck the Halls (Don We Now Our Gay Apparel)" by the Village People. This came from their (alas) now out-of-print 1979 Australia-only release. Very hard to come by in the States. Christmas disco at its best. |
| Violet | My resolution is to make him my number one priority all the time... to make time for kissing, love making, talking etc... no matter what. He's the most important thing in my life, so he should come before homework and waitressing and all the daily boring things I do in order to "get by"... I'm rambling. |
| Misti | I did so much damage to my marriage in 2002. You can read all the gory details in my poems. I want 2003 to be about stability...sanity...true love without the gaudy glitter and fantasy. I want to learn and cherish my husband and give him the friend and mate he deserves. I want to be a more mature, generous wife. Tonight we discussed baby names. The whole thing terrifies me because I will always be a gypsy at heart. But I know I will be happy having a family with Chris. It will make me a better person. |
| spaceman | My resolution is to let myself love her without worries and shadows from the past getting in my way. |
| tj holland | To live simply so that others may simply live. |
| jackryhme | to keep it in my pants? |
| Echolocation | For this is wisdom: to love, to live To take what fate or the gods may give To ask no question, to make no prayer To kiss the lips and caress the hair Speed passion's ebb as you greet its flow, To have, to hold, and in time -- let go. |
| Bridget O | To be happy, genuinely happy, because when i'm happy it's easier to make him happy |
| Inflatable Sushi | love is a grave mental disease (plato) |
| Chances are | Personally, I would love to find meaning, love, trust and a wonderfully wonderful good time in my relationship! - as posted on the board before I knew this question was up here! |
| Kirk | eh, sort of, not deliberately but see the january ramble, about setting some time aside with Mo |
| kevin urenda | to take responsibility for making it good - for both of us. |
| kevin urenda | and to start answering the question every time! |
| Kirk | I think 3's my max. But it was mostly silly highschool stuff. 'Course, a lot of the relationships I had in college were kind of in the shadow of "Rosetta", but I don't think that makes them somehow illigitmate, they were still good. |
| Chances are | Up to last year, I was faithful, one man in my life. Last year I was BAD (if that’s what you want to call it). I felt ignored, frustrated and wanted someone to listen and pay attention to me. I tried turning a friendship into something it wasn’t. Failed abysmally. In the end, I was honest with hubby because … I guess it was a desperate call for him to wakeup to me. I didn’t want to have sex, just kiss and fool around (naïve). I was raped. He’s not a friend anymore and he’s out of our lives. I also tried to start a new life with someone else after this and other frustrations compounded, looking for an instant solution without solving the problem. The answer was no and I got hurt. I am still learning the lessons. |
| Bridget O | Yes, sadly, I have. it's been an ongoing battle of mine that my best friend professes he "loves" me but doesn't act like he does and then theres another one who's recently entered my life and i feel he truly does love me. The tough part is choosing between the one's friendship and the other's love. |
| Misti | Yes. I think most people probably have. I loved one guy for a long time. He loved someone else but we had phone sex on a regular basis. It was more than just phone sex, of course. We would talk about all kinds of stuff for about three or four hours and then throw in about ten minutes of phone sex for intimacy. It was a strange time in my life. It lasted for almost a decade. Not the phone sex, but the unrequited love. While loving this one guy I dated and had flings with other guys and even married (not technically) a guy in Las Vegas. He tried to rescue me from the con artist I didn't really marry but I was loyal to the con artist because I felt sorry for him. Now my credit is shit. And when I was dating a guy I really, really liked I cheated on him with the guy I loved for most of a decade because the guy I really, really liked only liked me for sex. There are more sad tales to tell but that's all I'm willing to share. |
| Elysian | No. Never. It's a horrible thing to do. Devotion is the key word when It comes to loving someone. What's the point in life without commitment and honesty? The love which you have for him/her should be genuine and not fake. |
| lovekitty | carol--yes I do have alot of stuff to complain about, my age is none of your buisness, my things are not about guy, cuz im a lezbian and i dont like guys at all. and most my things are bout me not being excepted. |
| Inflatable Sushi | GOSH let's all share more embarrassing stories about our inability to love or commit or respect other's love for ourselves...yes, what a fascinating subject for a romance poetry website. TELL IT TO YOUR SHRINK (and stop being so proud about how bad you can be). How embarrassing. |
| Chances are | Oh Sushi. What did you bother looking at the ~SURVEY~ for? I'm proud of this much - I can be honest! BTW. Are you a frustrated shrink? You seem to be diagnosing everyone around here with some form of mental disorder! |
| spaded | Isn't seeing more than one person and exploring all the options the point of dating? I have never loved more than one person at a time in a romantic sense, I think that is impossible. However if the love is not returned I feel no qualms about going back to exploring the options... :D |
| Purple Princess | I never thought it was possible to love more than one person at once until recently. Now its tearing me apart. I'm scared of acting upon the feelings I have for this guy because of the effect it might have on another. |
| RennieLorca | I love a number of people very much ... care for their feelings and how they are doing. I help them, as they do me. Care for their families and other loved ones. Have no feelings of jealousy or need to influence or control. Am able to actually tell them I love them and hear the same from them. Some have asked me to say the words. Have no need to feel that love returned, but know that it is in how I am treated. It is the ultimate form of friendship. I am intensely devoted and crave passionate love and steady companionship with only one who returns that. All of this has been a unique and wonderful growth experience that makes me far happier in who I am and how I feel. I am intensely happy. I would not have survived without this combination in my life. I was still held and cared for when absolutely wretched in health and misery. Encouraged all around. I tried loving and companionship as dictated by some others at first. Their desires and required images over-rode my needs. They see me happy and ask how they can find happiness now that the veneer of their relationships is wearing thin. I see others I care very much for on a regular basis. We use the time to truly care for each other, catch up on how each is doing and feeling, and feel good that each is in working relationships that fit what each of us needs. They can enjoy time with me, even the compliments of a bit of flirting that tells them they still look great. They know these are compliments and not open doors to more of me. I respect them and their intelligence in this as it shows real maturity. They are all positive I am best with who I share my innermost self ... that is also real love from others. Unrequited love doesn't have to mean unfantasized about. There can be a beginning, middle and end to fantasy where real love continues in something real. Telling a partner someone else looks good and why, and then showing that partner you still prefer them can be stimulating. Wondering what a partner craves can eventually lead to insecurity without that communication. Being able to share and explore feelings like that can bring real lovers closer as they learn preferences, fantasy and what their partner can crave. There is no insecurity about what I will be doing in any time spent with someone else in knowing how I really feel. So yes to the question as I am free to "date" but devoted totally to one and he knows it without reservation ..... Rennie |
| Liz | I fell in love with a man when I was already involved with someone else. But I realized if I truly loved my intended, then I wouldn't have developed such strong feelings for the second man. I cared about J. and I didn't want to hurt him, but love lead me elsewhere. |
| drew1977 | ive seen more than one person at a time, but as soon as it develops into something more ive always been faithful |
| Jon | Yes, I've dated more than one person at a time. Who doesn't? And no, I've never loved more than one person at a time. My time and attention can be divided, but not my heart. |
| RainbowChaser | What do you think it means when the person you've broke up with dates others and doesn't tell you, but says that they still want you in their life? Does still wanting someone in your life mean that you still love them...i think it's more of a slam against her than me, that he would spend all this time with me while with her..and even try to go with me on christmas...what's the consensus..i could use some honest answers |
| B.K. | To give love the dimension that it deserves there should only be one focus, one love. |
| Inflatable Sushi | FDS spray (or at least a good bath) |
| kevin urenda | what I was getting at was keeping it new... ~sigh~ |
| RennieLorca | Everything about our lives involves adventure and challenges, so we're good at sharing life and love. We make communication very important so we don't miss any opportunities to share a fresh look at anything ..... Rennie |
| Misti | It's very important. I want to experience life with my dream lover and playmate, not just some guy I've grown accustomed to. So we shop together, act silly together, dance, celebrate, take road trips and plan trips to Vegas and New York. We spent two different nights taking erotic black and white pictures of me. That was fun. Chris pretends to be my pimp. He goes in chat rooms and has girls e-mail me their pictures. It's all in fun. We aren't really perverts. Well, maybe we are...but we aren't a threat to anybody else. |
| Chances | I prefer the shower. I would NEVER use an FDS spray! (Who knows what's in those things???) |
| spaded | well keeping it fresh is obvoiusly an important aspect, but I guess the hope is that when you find the truly right person, it always seems new without even trying.... Ok, then reality gets in the way and after so many years you have to work on it, I find that womens mags usually have some pretty good suggestions (but alas, I have never had to use them, hehe, or maybe I should of huh?). |
| Cyan | Keeping it roused up and stirred is very important. Some of us are so accustomed to settling for the "comfy shoe" type of relationship. It's like being with your own brother or sister. The only difference is that you're having sex. Yikes! Whenever I get involved in something serious, he'll have his life and I'll have mine. When the time comes to intermingle we won't feel smothered. There will be moments when we miss each other and wonder what the other is doing. Things of this nature will keep us wanting more. At least that's what I'm hoping for. |
| scqueen | By keeping it simple, I think. I had a mix of cd's playing last night - Taj Mahal, Diana Krall, Francine Reed, Andrea Bocelli, and Toni Price. I was upstairs on my computer and Joe was downstairs on his. He yelled up to me, "Hey! Would ya like to dance?" To which I tore down the steps and complied. It was impulsive and tender. We had a blast. |
| B.K. | By Jove SCQueen has it; It's enjoying the simple things of life. Their dancing or Kirk and Mo building a snowman together. It's the little things that count. |
| mbcutie88 | What works best for me is music. Right now, I'm listening to this song by Dru Hill called "I love you"-it's great during foreplay. It totally keeps things fresh for me and my boy. you guys should try it if you're into music as a turn on, http://www2.fanscape.com/druhill/redirects/iloveyouhi.asp I'd love to know if you tried it out or not and what the reaction was. |
| Kirk | I'm surprised how well goofy little surprises work with Mo, even not very imaginative ones. I think that helps. |
| Trout Almondine | good clean living |
| scqueen | I think that this is the only holiday that isn't overcommercialized, because people have always bought dozens of roses, glitzy cards, pounds of chocolate and singing telegrams. In fact, I'm not a fanatic, but oh how I would love a dozen key-lime white chocolate truffles (from See's Candies) on V-day, myself! |
| Inflatable Sushi | St. Valentine's Day is a MASSACRE, baby! It doesn't exist unless SHE writes me... I believe SATURDAYS are nore suitable as a romantic event. |
| B.K. | I like certain days with an extra effort made for fun but they don't have to be holidays. I think you can make it simple and elegant without doing too much extra. That's where being a writer comes in handy. Beats the heck out of Hallmark. I think any day can be a romantic event as long as the elements are right. |
| Chances | The birth of Christ is over commercialised... you think they're gonna let up for St Valentines? Probably go somewhere peaceful... romance is its own event. |
| Cyan | I may get hung for this, but I think Valentine's Day is the most lame and timeworn occurence in the history of romance. I never liked it, even as a child. Why would I feel special for recieving heart-shaped candy or a dozen roses when most women all over the world are recieving the exact same thing. You're doing it because it's expected. I want someone to give me something when I least expect it, because they want to, and not because they feel obligated. In other words. I would watch paint dry before celebrating Valentine's Day. Friday evenings are when I feel the most sentimental, or when it's raining outside and I'm feeling down. There's nothing better than a passionate lover to replace a clear blue sky. |
| mav6817 | I do think that V'day is overcommercialized...as I do with every holiday. We should not set aside one day of the year and make it a point to tell someone that we love them. We shoul dnot set aside one day of the year to give the people we love a card, chocolate or even a stuffed teddy bear. We should how ever be doing these things all year long, everyday. |
| Galadrial | That all depends on how you treat it. I long ago gave hope of being a Valentine---but it doesn't stop me from sending greetings to dear people---who frankly might not be remembered. The idea of being thought of, even in a small way, by someone who is NOT THE ONE, still has charm and merit. What is overdone is the concept that it must be a MONEY object...so I do Valentines's day MY WAY... |
| CryingShame58 | Yeah, it's overcommercialized and as I always say...there's good and bad in everything even Valentine's Day...If you ever lived in the south fo USA...you would know that it's not really cool/accepted (between guys) for a MACHO guy, a bubba, to show emotion...but on Valentine's Day, it is an excuse for him...He can tell, show, give his woman whatever and it makes her happy...and Valentine's Day gives him an "ok" excuse for being that way... |
| Star of David | Well, as a journalist I do have to write some articles about it when the day is coming up but I don't mind really. It is over-commercialised and all that but then again, even if they are the the most terribly predictable gifts on this day, getting chocolates or roses is nice or you feel kinda left out when you get nothing on a 'lovers day.' Then again, getting the same things on another day for no reason at all is a whole lot nicer because you are 100% certain those gifts are given on impulse and because they really want to make you smile - instead of giving roses and chocolates because they think you expect it when everything screams "Today Is Valentines Day And WHat Are You Going To Give Her/Him To Show Your Love?" regardless of whether the gifts are given because they want to make you happy or not. Either way, it's okay really and that much nicer when you're in love. Let's not be, well, scrooges about it and let the lovers get on with it. Those of us who cant stand the day need not feel pressured if our other halves know and accept our feelings about the day itself. |
| Violet | I like it. I don't care if it's over commercialized. I don't care if he feels obligated to get me presents. I get spoiled! I get flowers and candy and candle lit meals... I get treated like a princess. Is there anything better than that? I mean, I think romance is important on any old wednesday as well, but it's okay to give in to tradition and spoil someone on a holiday! It's a day for lovers! One more excuse to celebrate love! How great is that!? Pamper me!! (slinking from soap box...) heh heh :-P |
| Jon | Love, not Valenties Day is overcommercialized. How many more date movies do we have to digest? How many differnt ways can you sing the same love song? How many differnt ways can you write about it? American culture is in love with being in love. Valentines Day is just a well organized cash in day for humans most fundamental need and drive for loving and being loved. |
| Jon | ...but then again it's always nice to get something on Valentines. ;-) |
| Rhetoric | Feb. 14th is really not that big a deal to me. I have always been a bigger fan of surprises. Get me a card on April 22nd, send me a quick email at work when the mood hits. Romance is whatever you make it to be. |
| Echolocation | I agree with Jon -- love itself has become over-commercialized. But I also think that all our holidays in this country have just become excuses to consume, which I find degrades them into meaninglessness. A more romantic option? A day that has special meaning for just the two of you -- the day you met, the day you realized how you felt, the day you picked out your puppy together, etc. Something like that. Or just pick any old day -- the romance is in the surprise! |
| Kirk | I love commercialization. (However you spell it.) Men spend more than Women on Val Day (heh, didn't realize the initials were VD). Well, duh. Men went to impress women, who tend to groove on this stuff a bit more. |
| spaded | When I have a Valentine I love Valentines day. However that rarely happens, and when I am alone, it makes me wanna puke. How romantic is that? It is pretty overcommercialized, but that doesn't mean it has to be any less special when someone does something extra because they love you. They aren't obligated because it is Valentines day, it is still done out of LOVE. Feel special it is you getting something special and not the person next door, around the block, or etc. etc..... Of course if your lover is giving out the same thing to all the people on the block, (becaue he feels obligated by all the advertising) that might take away from the specialness...lol. Did that make sense? |
| kevin urenda | I'd like to think that giving gifts/flowers/candy just because on any OTHER day would be a little *more* special, simply because it's unexpected. Because, yes, Kirk, I think women do groove on that! |
| Champagne | * True Lovers do not need Valentine's Day. The gift of love should neither be expected nor forced. Love flows like a river which can never be dammed into a one day ordeal. * |
| Chances | Summer - for love that's hot and fevers rise with passions Autumn - is time for consolidating and counting one's blessings, a love without pressure Winter - is time for snuggling with that special one Spring - for hopefulness and true romance |
| Kirk | Nah, 'cause Summer rocks the Casbah. |
| muryan | Well. My ex, I think, is finally coming to his senses... and I think he has finally realized what he had. It is coming onto spring, and if something happens, i.e. our getting back together (crosses fingers because she still loves him) then I will definitely believe that love blooms best in the spring. It is after all, the beginning of a new life for some things. |
| Echolocation | Personally I'm a big fan of winter as a season for love. Something about the cold outside making you want to be all warm and cozy inside...of course, if you live in Arizona you probably don't fully appreciate this. I'm in the Northeast and believe me, warmth in the winter is a high priority! |
| Champagne | - I believe that all seasons are conducive to love. Each season has it's own beauty that can make love special. A person can accidentally meet their soul mate at any time, any season, and any place. You just never know when it will happen. - |
| RennieLorca | I am always aware that what I say may or may not mean anything to someone or anyone. However, what I said early one spring brought the love of my life to me. He taught me to enjoy all the seasons after that ..... Rennie |
| Violet | i think love is great all the time. however, being a spring baby myself, i am always happiest when the flowers begin to bloom. when i'm happy, so is he. so in a sense... yeah. |
| spaded | I don't know that you can really put a season on love, I figure it just smacks you like a heat wave whatever season you are in. Though I can give you an exact season (and month even) for lust. December has the highest rate of conceptions. lol ;) |
| Jon | spaded~Hehe, perhaps unrelated but December also has the highest rate/number of suicides. Heh, but anyway I agree with Kirk summer does rock. |
| Athena | Spring's love blossoms bright and new So simple and pure in mornings damp dew. Most blossoms give way in Summer's intense heat Many a Sprng's love ends in quiet defeat. |
| kevin urenda | Can't beat those sultry summer nights... |
| Chances | No - Who knows what goes on behind closed doors? |
| RennieLorca | For a time, I envied Sean Connery's wife. There was something in his eyes, gallant manner, and the way he could wrap his tongue around words that frankly got me hot. I told someone he could "eat crackers in my bed anytime" ... and I told them that I liked the infectious humor and smile and good looks of Tom Selleck. That if he came to my town and my door asking for me, that I was gone .. kiss me goodbye, wish me well. However, I new full well the poor man would bring me back before he got to the town limits because I'd mention something to him about popping the clutch or speeding without his seatbelt. Silly me? Oh, and you can imagine these folks enjoying themselves as "Joe Millionaire" came on. What did I think of this new hunk on the scene. Well, he's is a hunk, and he has a fine grasp of the word "hot" and "babe" which might really give me the hot shivers for all of a couple minutes. So ... no, I am happy with my own life and the real romance in it. I am grateful for all the misery and journeys that brought me to this stage in my life. It takes two for romance. A mythical fifty million, or a dashing actor just cannot bring the real thing in romance to you. I wish I had realized more realities of this when younger, but then again, maybe not. I value what I have so much more for the journey ..... Rennie |
| Liz | I have always envied Jessica Tandy and Hume Cronyn, Paul Newman and Joanne Woodward, Ossie Davis and Ruby Dee...couples who have been together for years and years and years. I envy their history, the years of love they have shared, the security they must feel in such long-term relationships...that's what I want more than anything. I want my soul mate. |
| pookybear | No...my hubbie and I have the most romantic life imaginable. I look at others and wish they could all be as happy and fulfilled as we are. |
| lilla | Of course. I admire couples who truly are into an honest-to-goodness real life romance. Romance may be too poetic though. There are times it doesnt last for very long. I guess, it is when commitment comes in. I do love to know romantic couples, but I do loive it more to see and know more the "happily-committed" ones. |
| CryingShame58 | The only couple I envied was my parents. They truly looked like movie stars and they had fun teasing each other. When they danced together, they made it look so easy. My father was a gentleman. He was always lighting my mother’s cigarette for her, opening doors and showering her with attention and affection. When they were together they couldn’t keep their hands off of each other. They snuggled on the sofa and anytime that they were in bed. Many times when he returned from business trips, he would surprise her with a gift. She was always leaving notes in his pockets, brief case, or suitcase. When he was away on business trips, she would be so anxious and excited waiting for his telephone calls. If she was in the shower when he called, he would sound disappointed that he missed talking to her. While I was growing up, I compared my parents with other married couples. My parents seemed to the most romantic and ideal couple that I knew. |
| Misti | Yes. Ronald and Nancy Reagan. Sid Vicious and Nancy Spungen. Kurt Cobain and Courtney Love. Jim Morrison and Pamela Courson. Romance is a dangerous thing. |
| Jon | James Bond, not only does he save the free world right in the nick of time, but he gets the girl at the end and any other girl inbetween. Have I ever envied a real person? Nope. |
| muryan | I envy my mom and dad. I wish I could have a guy that would make me look at him for 29 years the way my mom still looks at my dad. That is the pure love I want in my life... and the romance without all the frills. Pure lovin' Romance. Hell yeah. |
| Kirk | Yeah, I'd probably shock and offend many here if they realize what an unromantic dork I can be sometimes. It really doesn't come naturally for me. |
| B.K. | In about the fourth or fifth grade a new guy moved into our neighborhood and he was so handsome that I desperately wanted him to notice me. So I had just had my hair done and I was hiding in the back yard behind a tree waiting for him to come out. He appears and just as I come round from behind the tree a bird poops on my head. I was never so humiliated and decided never ever to be that desperate to see another man about anything..ha (Worked for me) |
| Violet | When i was about 13 i had a huge crush on a stupid boy. my friends and i snuck into our classroom during lunch, when it was empty, put on lots of red lipstick and kissed his desk all over. we didn't get caught, but i'm sure i turned purple when he saw it. (the poor kid was humiliated too) lol... those were the days. |
| Rhetoric | When I was in undergrad (I make the distinction between undergrad and grad school because I am just shy of thirty now and undergrad seems so long ago) I met and fell in love with a boy who couldn't date me openly because I was white. I really did care for him and he did love me (as much as two kids our age could) - but 2 and a half years and never once could I kiss or hug him in public! And, this was a small school - so it is not like all those, who actually thought they cared about the lives of strangers, didn't know already. I think, in retrospect, that was pretty desperate! We are still pals...and he knows that despite all the stupid crap we both did - I still care very deeply for him. |
| Chances | I was dating my first 'real' boyfriend at 18. My so-called friend let me know that he had this two week limit with girls at the end of the two week limit, and I was probably going to get 'dumped' that night. Anyway, she suggested that the guy working at the servo was kinda cute, I should ask him out. Under normal circumstances, that would have been beyond me - but you know what they say about a woman scorned. We went to the servo and thought - yeah, he's not too bad at all. I asked him to come out that night. When we hit the nightspot I was dumped, but not devestated. Then the guy from the servo, true to his word, showed up after his shift. He was an excellent dancer and partied my socks off while my ex snivelled in the corner all night. To cut a long story short - we got married. |
| spaceman | I've been desperate enough to do the room-filled-with-roses thing a couple of times, when I knew I had behaved badly, but the most desperate I have ever been to keep a woman was the night I promised to stop drinking and agreed to go to AA. |
| Kirk | I dunno, jonesing after "Rosetta" for 4 or 5 years, there was a hailstorm of small little things I'd do. It didn't turn out well... |
| deevaa | I moved to Australia. That was pretty desperate. *snort* Apart from the fact it's Australia, its working out pretty well. *grin* |
| RennieLorca | No, desperate is not in my personal vocabulary. Fortunately or unfortunately, I have the logical side of my brain that kicks in and drop-kicks the dreamy side contemplating love. Lucky for me, someone who functions much the same, decided he would take a step and declare how he felt. I finally listened to how I truly felt. On the outcome, I am forever grateful ..... Rennie |
| lilla | Some years back, I was so very much in love with this guy, 5 years my junior, and because of how deeply in love I was with him, I somehow "strategize" myself in his life by making myself so very "present" in practically all his endeavors. In good and bad times I was always there for him. I tried, and succeeded from earning the love and respect of his family. I made friends with his friends. I supported him all the way. Unfortunately, I was not really treated well in that relationship.. Many thought, I was short-changed. But because I loved him so much, I made a conscious decision to continue loving him, as I carry that immeasurable, unfathomable amount of faith that one day things will get better for us, and that day will come when I shall earn that one love I truly deserved. I waited for five years, and it was a hurtful ordeal for me. He passed away some 4 years ago, and I knew in my heart, that in his memory, I made a lingering impression of how much I truly, sincerely loved him. I am certain that his last recall of one true love was my love for him. Despite of loving and losing him, and loving, losing and finding myself again. I have not regretted a bit. He was my one great love. I am proud of myself. And I thank God for the experience. |
| Athena | I was desperate enough to lose myself. I was in a relationship for about 2 years with this man and never felt I was good enough. I changed so much in those couple years that by the time it ended I wasn't sure I could be by myself. My "self" had become a total stranger to me. I realize now that what I thought was love was just stifling and fulfilling his need to dominate. |
| toon | I wanted love Very Badly when i was younger. I liked this one gurl and i felt as if i loved her. Pretty much anything she said i would do and i loved doing things for her because in a relationship i always learned to compromise. Well I compromised on my Drinking I Quite smoking and everything because i was that desperate for love. and to this day im glad that i have gave everything i did up for her and if I could do it again I would Unforgivenly. But just to let you know She Cheated on me for some other guy made me feel so bad but I hope she is happy with him because thats all i wanted from her was to be happy. |
| Trout Almondine | Oh, yes. I posted lame poems and such on a lame(r) romance website, as if any of that had anything to do with love or romance or creativity or ANYTHING. The outcome was nearly the same as masturbation...nothing but a MESS. |
| OmaBaravaz | I had a crush on this much older married man. I was hoping we could just be friends, anything--he was a father figure for me. When it became apparent he was attracted to me, too, he confessed that he was already unfaithful to his wife, and I, foolishly went ahead and agreed to whatever he wanted from me, so in love was I. |
| cryingshame58 | I allowed to be controled and manipulated so that I didn't have my own identity...Then my spirit wouldn't/couldn't & refused to manage life that way...I am in recovery and finding a whole new world, although it can still be complicated and difficult to stay in a relationship where so much as changed...My King has found his peasant is now his Queen... |
| Anonymous One | Sadly, yes. My ex-boyfriend told me that he loved me, and since it has been a while, I became hooked in an instant - I missed being 'loved'. Well, when I was with him, I started doing bad things, I started rebelling against my parents, sneaking out late at night, doing other things I didn't quite approve of, but I did it, because he 'loved' me. I was so blinded by it, that I didn't see the truth, even when there would be hints right under my nose. I guess you could say I didn't want to believe it. But it finally hit me in the face when he broke up with me. He told me he was still seeing his girlfriend from before me, and that I got 'played'. Of course I was hurt, I even started smoking because I was so depressed, but I realized that he wasn't at all worth any of my tears. Now I'm loving my life, and I'm finally with someone who appreciates me and truly loves me. As for my ex, he keeps on trying to crawl back to me, but I'm not falling for it. I guess he didn't realize what he had until he lost it. |
| RennieLorca | Yes -- not romance or erotica tips, I'm way ahead on that. I could see that the website was a search for love by the webmaster (Kirk) when I first got here. I liked it that he and Blender were a cut above all the other websites I had surfed at the time. I wasn't looking for love but inspiration to ghost write some romantic lines for a friend who was. I got hooked reading here. It wasn't just the Digest and new submissions, but the great community on the comments board. There was real teamwork and gentle crits instead of folks playing King of the Hill even though Kirk had the Digest to pick his "personal" favorites. The site was benign and addictive instead of another competitive and wedge-driving site among writers. I mentioned this to some friends who are also writers. They challenged me to write a bit here since romance was a real stretch for me. Soon, I decided to put my own website together that kept track of my journey with one particular person as we went from great friendship to a solid relationship ... doing that saved our relationship several times as I read our best lines to each other over and over when I was unhappy and very ill ... in no real mood for romance. It saved me -- saved us. So I'd have to thank Kirk personally for great inspiration that's lead to real love for me. I'd also have to thank most everyone at Blender for continuing inspiration during a very trying time in my life when I was ready for love but too ill to get out and live it. I'm fine now, very happy, and always inspired here ..... Rennie |
| Rhetoric | Thanks to Jack, I now make my man-meat dress up like a sailor! Just kidding! I have learned from many here to be honest. Now, I also have learned that what I think in my head is a well-turned phrase, might not be. I have been as open with my feelings in this forum than I may have ever been in person. So, thank you for paying attention. |
| scqueen | I belive I have learned from BK's consistent spirit to keep the faith - always. She never wavers. |
| wordley | Scqueen, you read my mind!....B.K. is a constant reminder to us that, when things are at their darkest, it's still possible to see the end of the tunnel, God bless you Babe! |
| Kirk | Since I'm Brooke's puppet for this month, we are going to have to say "No, nothing comes to mind" PS I'm kidding about the puppetness, she is currently screaming NOOOO and I do appreciate the blender blurb, which was a spur of the moment idea that came out well. If bitter. |
| muryan | The only thing I've learned was to be open and honest, caring and accepting of another person. Now that I've done this... I think I've fallen in deeper than I've ever imagined possible for me. If we make it through the summer, I have a feeling that this relationship could be one to cherish forever. And I have EVERYONE on this board to thank for their inspirational and truthful words. Thank you. |
| poyen_fpy | I let the person go. It was the hardest thing I've ever done for love |
| B.K. | Kirk, I want to report SCQueen and Wordley for making me cry. Ya'll were supposed to say something snide like you were following my recipes and cooking suggestions. (Thank you both. This is why I love this place so much) I've learned a great deal here, from lot's of people (Even you Sushi Poo) The diversity makes for great inspiration. (Darn it Jack, if you are reading this ET WRITE HOME..we miss you!) bk |
| Chances | The courage to examine and learn my feelings/love (which I have always taken for granted or ignored), I speak more easily (which is just a sidekick from learning to express myself again) and ... I am not so 'threatened' by romance - which seems like a funny thing to say, yet, once I was. |
| Chances | The most absurdly funny would be the Leamus incident... Leamus came and criticised the entire Blender for our words of support and inability to write 'proper poetry' (or some such thing), after writing a couple of pieces in the past to show us up for our crappiness (or they were just plain twisted?). He copped an earful (and then some). Though some Blenderites were very understanding and had compassion for the man, the passion and fiery natures of others were heated to boiling point by his words - whichever, a LOT of words got written on the board. God help those that got behind in their reading of it. |
| Liz | My favorite moments were on a personal level...coming here to read poetry written by a man I adore, and knowing that some of them, at least, were meant for me. I also enjoyed some of the One-Nut Jim and Ophelia moments, as aggravating and unnecessary as they were, there was some entertainment value to be had... |
| RennieLorca | I, too, enjoy seeing the board and submits come alive in community interaction with support or defense of any and all posters. There are too many instances, it would be hard to pick any one or two particular favorites or outstanding events. There is a unique blend of senses and mood set by Blenderites as they get inspired, inflamed, infuriated, compassionate, or just care to share. Like any community, we get to see pain, growth, happiness and despair. We thrive on the words, die from their meanings, feel more in the love and romance context, or the inability to feel, out of sorts from the heartaches of others. Yet, we rally to romance and true love when we recognize it blossom, even be fulfilled in Blender's poets. We miss, even grieve over those who leave Blender for whatever reason -- rejoice at a return. Realizing longevity, we nurture young poets at Blender and cherish those older who seem wise and advise well. I've learned from everyone at Blender. I don't see the apathy of other sites as they fade from misuse, attacks or lack of community spirit. A board argument often leads to a solution, a bump up for the poetic society here, an education for some, nod of approval, a need for some to find somewhere they might better fit. Very long story short: From a twelve year's pain, to the bliss of Josephine and Blakey's faces in the links here, I've read and felt myself a warm part of something real in the larger too often cold www-'net cyberspace ..... Rennie |
| Butterfly03 | My most favorite blender moment was when I stumbled on the site for the very first time and a huge wave of relief came over me. Oh how comforting it was to be able to express myself and, let out what has been pent up inside of me for so long, to people who I've never met yet feel so close to. Everytime I come to the site is in some way a favorite moment because it allows me to be myself without being judged or ridiculed. I will always be thankful for my time with the 'Blender'; it has helped me through one of the hardest, loneliest, and exciting times in my life. |
| Madison | After all of words that were born from what we were, are, will never be, will always be - to realize that you were noisrevni (and a part of it was for me?) If you read this you'll know what I mean. |
| empyrean | Its hard to pin one defining moment, but to echo the comments of the others I think it would have to be the support of the Blenderites here. Its always such a pleasant surprise to receive a comment from someone that's read my work, and in turn I adore reading the words of others - many a time have I had a 'reality check' through the words of poets here. The support is immense and its just a pleasant place to be :-) |
| Kirk, Blender-Keeper | Getting a few paragraphs of writeup in the New Yorker in 1997...or maybe when I got the darn autosubmission system up and running. Or some other technical feat like that, like last year's redesign. Yeah, I'm not just the blender-keeper, I'm also a giant geek. |
| Kirk, Blender-Keeper | And actually, not so much a single moment, I'm happy to have witnessed the blender board and submissions page evolve into a self-sustaining community. |
| CryingShame58 | No matter what kind of day I am having, I can feel my smile creep across my face after reading someone's new submit or comment on the blender board... :) |
| tj holland | I have found that the Blender serves as some sort of muse for me. If I feel the desire to write something, it seems I cannot just open up a fresh Word document. I HAVE to come to the 'submit work' page here on the Love Blender and work from there. I also can't read any of the other people's submissions before I write. If I try to write anywhere besides here at the Blender, I get a serious writer's block! What's up with that?? And an interesting thing happened in regard to the Blender a year and a half ago...I had been chatting with a man on the net, but felt no real need to give him my name. He did a search with the first part of my e-mail address (the "name" or "tag" portion of it). He came across some of my old Blender submissions from back in 1999. I laughed when he confessed to me what he had done, he felt like he had violated some sort of ethic by finding my poetry. LOL! (I didn't feel violated at all, since the LoveBlender is a VERY public forum). One other thing that I like here is that I know a few of the Blenderites in person, so when they submit, I can 'read them' and it enriches my idea of 'who' they are. -Teej |
| B.K. | Probably my very first front page was one of my favorite moments. Confessing to all the other names I've written under here and figuring out who else was doing the same thing. Bumping other poets which is always fun and watching the fights and make ups. I guess just watching this place evolve from the point that I came in. It's all fun..I love this place but you could never tell. |
| kevin urenda | It's a close contest for me, and probably these moments are One and One-A. It's been almost five years, but that first Blender front-page selection made me feel as if I had finally arrived. The first few emails I ever received as personaly responses to something *I* had written were the beginning of a whole new universe for me. Friendships that continue to this day were forged... |
| Just Some Girl | Scantily clad people. |
| Indefensible Sushi | Scantily clad Just Some Girl. |
| Rhetoric | Sushi - I second that! Scantily clad Just Some Girl doing yardwork, pressing a white cotton swatch to her neck and lips every so often; all the while never knowing that her tee-shirt has clung to every square inch of her wet torso. Sure beats watching my 70-year-old neighbor. JSG, why don't you send us all an alert next time you plan on weeding your mystery garden... |
| Chances | Ceiling fans and minimal bedlinen. |
| kevin urenda | Yes, I agree with Chances... One additional thing: ice cubes |
| Inflatable Sushi | road trips and reefers |
| Trout Almondine | tiptoeing through the daisies like a little girl |
| wordley | Evenings spent watching the sun go down with my old friend mr. J. Daniels |
| RennieLorca | Sailing, sunsets, dancing under the moon and stars. Swimming. Memorial Day weekend when the outdoor pools open. However, I couldn't find my ice skates this year, so I stayed home for their chilly opening ... burrrrrrrrrrrrr!! Where IS summer this year?? ..... Rennie |
| toon | The warm humid nights under the star light is one thing i really admire about summer. All the animals and Amphibians are out from hibernation so you can see the peaceful animals live their life as they repeat it from the previous year. that is what i Admire about Summer |
| Max-Rom | It's a toss-up 'tween summer nights struggling to tame the rugged bed sheets against the heat of your skin <u>and</u> the cool taste of lemony-ade on the tip of your tongue. Ahhh...Summer. ;) |
| cryingshame58 | while my children were in school, my favorite thing about summer was that we didn't have to be on tight schedule...but now it's more simple...my favorite thing now is daylight savings time, so I can enjoy more sunlight and activities outdoors (gardening) after 5:00 pm... |
| violet | watermelon slices and fireworks, ocean breezes and sun burned noses. ice cream, evening strolls and romance. |
| muryan | Tanning Lotion, coconut scented, that unreachable spot on your back, and some soft but firm hands to help your out. Iced tea, with a slice of lemon, cold kisses in the summer heat. Hot sunny days, cloudy languid afternoons, and having those soft but firm hands cup your face as he gives you a cold kiss in the rain. |
| Misti | Sno cones? No, I don't eat those anymore. Road trips? No, I don't take those anymore. The ocean? The beach? I live in a desert now. These past two summers I've gone to Vegas with my husband. We're going again in July. We stay at the MGM Grand and ride the bus to Fremont Street and get drunk and get lei'd by the preternaturally pretty hostesses at Mermaids. So Vegas is my favorite thing about summer. |
| Jon | Air conditioners. |
| B.K. | Mimosa and fireflies, roses and magnolias. limeade and grilling out, daisy dukes and white t-shirts, walking the trail with the corgis. Used to be the Newport Jazz Festival now maybe Dancing In the District. Lemon and Key Lime Pie, homemade ice cream, Blackberries and fuzzy peaches, homemade blueberry buttermilk waffles. Don't get me started. |
| Kirk | Used to be "no school and lots of free time". Now it's long days, I think. I much prefer the ratio of light to dark. |
| Kirk | Oh yeah, the women in tanktops thing is great too :-) Going crazy here in London...luckily Mo doesn't mind so much. |
| Champagne | My favorite thing about summer is WATER. Oceans, lakes, rivers, pools, streams, sprinklers, hoses - ice cold glasses of WATER. Splish - splash ;-) |
| tj holland | Russian olives in bloom. They wait till dusk to open up smell like sweet rain. Nights out in the back yard, Ginger Peach candles from Pier 1 glowing on the terrace. A respite from the baking heat of the day, a bottle of vox populi and silence. I can hear the trees grow and the earth turning. Distant sounds of water. The reflection of the moon echoes off the lake. I can feel the cool damp in the air. Natural cotton sheets and furniture of oriental darkwood. Jute rugs and sand on the threshold. Children laughing on the dark ocean beach, pounding surf and pebbles rolling under the waves. The crackle and glow of beach fires. |
| Inflatable Sushi | update - scantily clad 20ish beermaidens who wear plaid mini-skirts and tanks tops bearing the slogan "you're killing my buzz"...no, even better - when those skirts and tank tops are being used as a bed for my kitty cats somewheres across the room, barely visible through clouds of bong smoke ...yeah, thats the ticket. |
| indefensible sushi | H...M BL...ND HV T TLK LK THS NW...KND SCKS... :( |
| Misti | I gave it some more thought and decided What is Summer Without: masturbating with Otter Pops making love to the Beach Boys masturbating with souvenir back scratchers having sex on a nude beach masturbating while watching "Beach Blanket Bingo" getting it on with the pizza guy while my husband is at work (pray for my soul...pray very, very hard) (for the irony deficient...um...nevermind) |
| indefensible sushi | OK, it's time to change this question already...so I'm answering a different one. To wit: If you were reincarnated as a punctuation mark, which one would it be? My answer will be kept in a sealed bank vault until such time as new Blender arrives or the world ends - whichever comes first. |
| Kirk | "Anything I can do to help?" |
| Kirk | Heh, see http://kisrael.com/viewblog.cgi?date=2002.05.01 to see what I'm getting at... |
| Inflatable Sushi | what the fuck is your problem? |
| muryan | Since you don't believe in love, does what I feel for you not exist? |
| Misti | Could I quit my job at BraAndPanties Land and be an apartmentwife slash freelance writer? Just consider the possibilities...no more mail orders (and screwing up the checkbook because I always miscalculate the total), no more coming home stressed out beyond belief, ranting about idiots who call to order for their girlfriends when their girlfriends are sitting right beside them...no more going ballistic as I slam the microwave door telling you about how I know it will be a suck ass phone call when I ask a customer for their name as it appears on the credit card they'll be using and they say,"American Express." Oh, and I won't ask you to do the laundry anymore. I'll do the laundry. I'll scrub the toilet weekly. Just please please PLEASE let me quit my inane corporate crotch lickin' job!!! |
| tj holland | When? |
| Athena | Is marriage really supposed to be this hard? |
| Chances | I just don't ask anymore. |
| violet | how do you know? |
| misunderstood | Why did you do it? |
| Varda | I changed the sheets. Wanna dirty 'em again? *seductive wink* ;) |
| Misti | This is a question I asked my husband last night because he said NO to the first question: Would you fill my car with gas and buy me some Sugar Babies and a fountain Coke? (he said yes) (and brought me a piece of Bazooka Joe bubblegum) (as a bonus!) |
| Liz | Why does loving you feel like a series of battles in an impossible war? |
| Misti | Not really. I like to call the summer of '95 the Summer of Love but it was really the Summer of Lust...a sad string of one or two or three at the most night stands. There was a younger guy named Dallas I especially enjoyed. He was mostly deaf in his left ear. He was a Libra with hazel eyes. He went out at night and stole things that he would pawn. I asked him for his driver's license but he wouldn't give it to me 'cause he needed it for the pawn shop. Our banter was incredible. But he thought his girlfriend back in Keller was even more incredible. I listen to Beach Boys songs and bitterly wish I had been some surfer guy's little surfer girl, going to second base under the boardwalk...hanging out at bonfire parties...going to some seaside carnival and seeing the ecstatic lights as I clutched a purple bear my guy had won for me knocking down milk bottles. |
| Inflatable Sushi | yes |
| RennieLorca | Yes, but for a time "A Summer Song" (Stuart/Metcalfe/Noble) / Chad & Jeremy wistfully singing could reduce tough me to tears over a first one. There have been more, and better since (thank goodness). Maybe (she muses wistfully) another really good one someday ..... Rennie |
| B.K. | Yes, one famous pop singer and one famous country singer ha (but of course different summers and both were just starting out and not famous at the time) |
| scqueen | Hendersonville, NC...1975-1977 and the boys at Camp Kanuga... Where are they nearly 30 years later? |
| deevaa | with fondess, ahh.... I recall some of the things we did during the fling with fondess, however the fling on the whole no, I don't recall that with fondness. :-) |
| CryingShame58 | Yes, I was thirteen and he was fourteen...he was my first love...it was what is referred to...as i think as "requited" love (if that isn't right, please someone correct me). anyway, he lived across the street from me and we were best friends...we spent everyday together and many nights gazing up at the stars...i was naive as we rode double on a bicycle...stared in each other's eyes for hours, but never kissed...my family and I moved away from that city in August...after we moved we confessed our love for each other in letters...how i missed him and how he missed me! A few years later I was able to visit him for a little while and we were still friends...Recently, I tried to search for his email address through classmates.com, but didn't find it... |
| Kirk | Summer camp was always the best for those little romances... from my first kiss w/ KJ to my final fling with the wonderfully named Dawn Saylor... |
| bp | no |
| Kase | Johnny---last year....The end of July and the begining of August, my sweet sixteen and I reuntied. It was pure sweetness and I felt like I was 16 all over. We relived some good times, but we've always been good friends and we moved on. He's married with a baby on the way, and I met the love of my life shortly after Johnny and I seperated, but I can still remember him with fondness and and a big goofy grin. Everytime I hear the song "Strawberry Wine" I smile inside and get the warm fuzzies.... |
| bp | no again |
| bp | no again, there was some raw sex w/ a guy's wife while he stayed in the closet and mastribated |
| Tanqueray Cowboy | Yes and no. One night... that started late in a warm, almost tepid, San Antonio swimming pool. What is it about night swimming? It was for me the answer to my prayers (my college crush) and for her it was... well... a fling. Bitch. |
| Misti | There was a drummer from Austin. We partied with the band in the hotel room and the manager came to the room because I was acting too rowdy on the roof. I didn't have sex with the drummer dude but we made out hardcore in the pool for about an hour. I wasn't that into him. Next question? |
| B.K. | Hey, I thought this was supposed to be fond memories? |
| Misti | Otter Pops! Especially the blue one! I was deeply in love with Otter Pops. And Cherry Coke when it first came out and riding my bike to the store with my best friend and buying candy and smelly stickers. Oh, and discussing "Twilight Zone" episodes and watching MTV back when it was fantasy, not reality. We drooled over George Michael and Duran Duran. |
| Chances | My partner ignored me for four years. We're still trying to get back what we had. Old patterns are easy to slip into, though. |
| Jon | Lies |
| B.K. | Jon is right LIES, but more (let me think and I'll be back ha) |
| Injun Joe | insanity |
| Misti | Insanity? Guess I'm in trouble, then. I would have to say being hung up on an ex. Even if the person doesn't talk incessantly about the ex, you just KNOW they aren't with you 100%. And what kind of lame shit is that? |
| B.K. | I think that when you lose TRUST in a relationship it's over. Too many think all they have to do is say they're sorry and then go and do the same thing again. It chinks away at the armour and then you wake up and there's nothing left to save. Love can only take so much and even great sex can't save TRUST. (Which is where Jon started, LIES) |
| cryingshame58 | holding grudges or no forgiveness...enuff said... |
| BstarXO | Jealousy = the #1 relationship-Killer |
| Athena | Misti ~~ Word. I married a guy who is still to this day humg up on his ex. One of the biggest mistakes I've ever made. On that same note, Dishonesty. Goes hand in hand with the former.... sort of blankets the real root of the problem that causes a relationship to go sour. |
| Lydia | Being myself. |
| bp | broken trust |
| Just Some Girl | Bad Sex |
| kirk | apathy |
| spaded | When one partner feels the need to be controlling, (this probably is a catch all, or at least a good indiaction of lack of trust and jealousy). |
| RennieLorca | Well, I'll never forgive the first worst boyfriend for his "games" strickly because he is too much fun to write about. Then there were the two lovers who died on me. I've had a bit of trouble dealing with that. I insist on love AND friendship in a relationship. Take a hike IF you don't want both. I learned long ago that old lovers can meet again and fall deeply in love again IF that friendship still exists without the possession and future expectations BS. In more than one night stands, I've found men eventually want love and romance in a real relationship as much as any woman could ever dream of now. There is NO relationship with a game player (male or female). That's the hardest one to figure out unless your head's out of the clouds in the beginning, or stuck in the sand in the end ..... Rennie |
| Star of David | I guess it's when they stop seeing you. As in, they are always right there but somehow somewhere else - you no longer hold that person's soul and that person does not really want what you're offering. It's like you're dead already when they start denying your existence - not outright but in the little ways that hurt and then be extra polite just to cover up. When they start lying to you and acting like you are imagining things when confronted. Like you are an idiot. I guess all this happends when you lose respect for the other person and that person's life and hopes and love and dreams and everything. That way, you kill a piece of them long before they are dead. And also, when the ability to laught about things gone wrong and the tenderness dies, you better start packing anyway. |
| Champagne | ` Two things will ruin a relationship quicker than anything else - cheating on your partner, or trying to control them. They both have the same effect on the relationship. :-( |
| jack | hurt |
| kevin urenda | I agree with Kirk. Apathy is total dispassion... |
| michaelt() | Depends on what you think real love is. I can't think of anything worthwhile that doesn't require work and maintainence. |
| B.K. | Well think about it most of the fairy tales are pretty grusome ha. With a lot of problems to be worked out and overcome. But with love and passion as a driving force then it makes it easier to overcome the obstacles life will continually place in our paths. |
| Misti | Fairy tales were originally written for adults. Then Disney got a hold of 'em and cleaned 'em up. The witch in "Rapunzel" went into a rage because Rapunzel was pregnant. The prince wasn't just braiding her hair up there in the tower. Fairy tales give us magnified reality, enhanced with metaphors and fantasy. In the true fairy tales the girls are never saved. They save themselves. It's never as simple as a prince riding in and whisking you away to a castle on the hill, where there are no ugly stepsisters or poisoned apples or ashes to sweep away. There will always be a mirror that tells you bad things. There will always be dragons to slay. It helps if you have a best friend/lover to confront the gruesome realities of life with. And of course you have to work at it! When the clock strikes midnight those glass slippers can only getcha so far. |
| cryingshame58 | real love lasts forever even though the relationship may not. it takes more than love or work for a relationship to grow and flourish. accomplishing "an in love relationship that lasts forever" is GERONAMO! |
| Kirk | Dunno about the fairy tale, but it's initial luck followed by work. |
| Athena | I would have to aggree that it depends on what you consider real love to be. Love and a good relationship can be two entirely different things. A good relationship will take hard work. But love is definitely something different. I recommend a very interesting book, called "The Four Loves" by C.S. Lewis (yes, the same who wrote "The Lion, The Witch and The Wardrobe"). It summarizes 4 kinds of human love: affection, friendship, erotic love, and the love of God. All obviously distinctly different, but worth exploring. |
| Star of David | Real love is not a fairy tale and is very, very real. But it being real does not mean it stays forever just like that. You have to work at it, keep looking at what you did and how you could do things better and it is continual hard work. But the hard work is rewarded constantly, with every smile, every hug and every little bit of love. |
| Chances | Real love is real love. But you can't treat it like a fairy tale and walk around staring at the roses... real life will intervene. I think if you work at keeping your love real and not taking it for granted, treat each other as human beings, not idealistic superhumans then you really will have the best of both worlds. Of course, this is all just supposition.... |
| jack | real love as opposed to umm false? and fairy tale as in fantasy? real love is simply heaven, even if you are in hell |
| B.K. | Great line Jack, "Real love is simply heaven even if you are in hell." Kirk should quote you and put it on the front page as the quote of the month. |
| tj holland | I believe there is love, real love, and true love. Love is something you can have for someone or something because it/they is/are here and you are too and the memory of it remains even if the thing or person is gone (think about that). Real love is a love that is deep and meaningful, but can dissipate with harm or lack of attention, leaving some sort of emotional residue. True love is the deepest connection to be found here on earth, where both 'lovers' understand and act accordingly, and will endure for eternity. |
| Violet | I believe that true love helps you get by day to day. It makes reality rosier. I think that if you work at it and care for it, then your "reality" feels a lot more like a fariy tale. |
| muryan | Goodness. Real love is real. Love is love. It either is or it isn't. A faery tale is as we all believe, fantasy. Love is only achieved through Time. Whereas a faery tale can be thought up in seconds, real love grows over time. You can like someone in a matter of seconds, but liking and loving are two different things. So, I think that though it feels like a faery tale, chances are, if it came about in a few minutes, hours, days... you like them, but you don't love them. |
| calypso | I think that when you have found love, you are blessed because it is like finding a little bit of magic in this crazy world of ours. And if you and your love make each other a priority, your love will flourish. If not, it will fade. |
| Injun Joe | REAL LOVE takes plenty of wampum and peyote... |
| Misti | I've been writing love letters since elementary school. I actually dictated a love letter to my best friend Amy when we were in fifth grade because she had a new calligraphy set and she was really good at it. Actually, it was a hate letter because the guy I puppy loved (Adam Finley...a tennis playing brainiac...he knew how to navigate a Commodore 64...swoooon)didn't love me back. I looked in Amy's dictionary for the worst name I could find. I called Adam a "chinchilla" in the letter. I think it's a type of rodent. I don't remember the response...he probably laughed and made fun of me with his friends. I wrote dozens of letters to Matt Hale, my first "real" crush", when I was a teenager. Never sent them. Wrote songs and stories about us as King Matthew and Queen Velvet. He never saw those, either. Fell in love for real when I was seventeen with one Chase Childers. He could publish a very thick book of all the letters and poems I've sent him. My love for Chase spanned the better part of a decade. He still has those letters and every other thing I ever sent him, or he did the last time I checked a couple of years ago. I've sent love letters to other guys and I guess they didn't love them because I didn't get any back. I corresponded with my husband via snail mail before we met in the flesh. He sent me about five letters a day. I sent him a bit less than that because I wasn't very creative with saying,"I love you, too, and can't wait to meet you so that I can give my right hand a break." I was used to writing crap like,"I know you don't realize this yet, but we are soul mates and when you're tired of playing the field, I'm the gal for you." |
| Athena | Love letters are wonderful... I used to write them for my sweetie all the time and I think he liked them. But he's been a butthead lately so he hasn't gotten any for a while. Needs to straighten up and fly right before he'll get one again. |
| tj holland | Everyday is a love letter. All day long. Given with no expectation of returns and received with awe. |
| Star of David | I absolutely love writing letters... I choose the paper according to the person I am writing to and start off the first letter of the first word with a calligraphy stencil, make it quite large and fill it in in a different colour to that I am writing in. I change the margins and sometimes start paras in a way that the rest of the para lines are indented instead of the start. I sometimes print borders as well! I am a letter writing maniac. Even if I e-mail a person regularly, I love to send them letters occassionaly as well telling them how special they are because letters lift you up and make you smile. So far, all the people I have written to, meaning those I love, have been totally surprised and happy... Letters are such a beautiful thing. |
| Kirk | Nah. We're never apart. Or there's email. My handwriting is awful anyway. And surprisingly I'm not into all the mushy stuff as you might guess. |
| ThoughtFull | Wouldn't we be a silly bunch of writers if we didn't write love letters? Actually, I have slacked off in this last relationship cause not too many men have appreciated my sacchrine soaked starry eyed ramblings...so off to the Blender I went. |
| frozencharlotte | I wrote 'I love you' in red lipstick on the mirror once. Drew a heart around it. Hard as hell to clean off. |
| muryan | You know, of all the times I've written love letters, it was always just to write them. I never gave them to the person. I did write a poem to a guy as a gentle way to end our "fling" he wrote me a great one back. So I guess it was well received. In fact, I think I'm going to write him a love letter to see if we can start the fling up again. Great survey question! |
| RennieLorca | Yes. I wrote the first worst boyfriend volumes. Got lots of writer's cramp. Wrote lots of poems I don't have copies of...and don't know if he still does. He actually wrote me back. How he found the time with all the cheating and lying, I'll never know. I bought a typewriter and composed poems I never showed boyfriends. I married. My husband did enough writing for the two of us, but not romance. Wasn't in me to compete, since he was competitive creatively. Then I worked briefly for lawyers, where I learned not to put things in writing as far as relationships. I exercise real feelings in writing, don't journal, have some fun with what I write from a number of relationships. Pen to paper, or more than a pen -- no. Gonna take lots of trust for me to sign my name to more than love letters in the sand now ..... Rennie |
| bp | no |
| cryingshame58 | first love letters I wrote were to my parents...always signed them with X's and O's and always received applause and affection...later, i remember passing love notes in highschool and always got a kiss and a hug from my love after I passed it to him...it was embarrassing when the teacher would grab it and read it in class...<blush> |
| Madi | Yeah.... nothing like finding or sending in-the-mail, in-the-lunch sack, under-the-pillow or in-lipstick love notes. The favorite love notes I've written in pen were on piano scores, slowly and carefully inking every little sharp, flat, and stem. I guess I've never thought about how they were received because I was so busy enjoying the giving. |
| to-kill-a | |
| Injun Joe | ugh...time for new query |
| Chances | I have written one or two. He held onto them long after I wished he'd thrown them away. |
| Chances | AND I have never actually got a love letter myself. hmmmph. |
| Chances | Writing I love you in the sand is much better. |
| Rhetoric | Is there ever a GOOD time to fall in love? Even when love is good, you still feel like you have been kicked in the stones. Romance is better. If love could feel like romance, rather than the painful ache that comes from the incomprehensible reality of needing another, maybe there wouldn't be so many people who are afraid of it. |
| Misti | Fall has always been my favorite season. I love the crispness, the vivid blue of the sky and all the things that go along with it, such as Halloween and El Dia de Los Muertes and Thanksgiving. And this has nothing to do with the question, which I think is a bit ridiculous. Anytime is a horrible, beautiful time to fall in love. I feel most melancholy in the late spring, but according to esteemed astrologer Michael Lutin that is because May is my conception month. I think of home and loss and all the lovers who let me down. Oh...the four astrological signs that rule the fall are Virgo (early), Libra and Scorpio and Sagittarius (late). Libra, which is ruled by Venus, rules the heart of fall. So I apologize for saying this is a ridiculous question. Venus rules all things love/attraction/marriage/quality perfume/damn fine art and music. So yes...fall is a very good time to fall in love and find someone to jump in the leaves and make caramel apples with. |
| Injun Joe | yeah, cause you'll likely get good holiday sex and presents |
| Kirk | Nice to see a new poll question! Historically, most of my good romances have started in the spring, and most of my bad ones in the fall. I dislike autumn in general...nature going into a coma is pretty, but along with the shortening days, a bit depressing. |
| Athena | Anytime is good to fall in love. But looking back at the men I've loved, some of my most dramatic/catastrophic relationships began in the fall. On the other hand, I fell in love with the most amazing man in autumn; and it's persisted over 4 more. Fall has this sort of romantic reputation, too. There's something sweet about walking hand in hand, leaves crunching under your feet, wrapped up in a big comfy sweater, sipping hot chocolates while admiring the yellows, oranges, reds, and even purples that decorate our world. A little bit "Hallmark-y" though, I suppose. It takes more than that to sustain an autumn romance. (Sorry for my rambling!) |
| libs0813 | haven't fallen in love during fall, but i'm more than willing to prove that this question has an answer of YES... |
| Violet | I fell in love in the spring, presonally. However, I think the fall would be a great time to fall in love. The crisp air, the hay rides, apple cider... with all of the romance of the season, with the leaves falling, you may as well be falling yourself. Maybe I will fall in love all over again this fall. I think I'll make a goal out of it. |
| gardenpoet | On the first day of this autumn, my wife fell in love with me. Again. Autumn is her favorite time of year and, although she's an admitted "NON-planner", she looks forward to this season so that she can PLAN all kinds of decorating schemes and times with her family and events for both of us to get involved in and more. I suspect that this Autumn, she'll plan more moments of love. |
| B.K. | It was in the Fall of 2000 that I first picked up pen to write. My muse would even wake me up and say write this down. So of course Fall is the perfect time to fall in love. Every season has it's perfect moments and every season I fall in love with him a little deeper. Kisses Darlin Man , you are the passsion, the love, the words of love I write. bk |
| Injun Joe | zzzzzzzzzzzz |
| Jon | Sure. I guess. And why not? |
| Laurel Ahlfeld | Certainly! |
| Savannah Haze | No. |
| angel | Why not fall in love in the Spring where a nice breeze can cool your hot self down before the passion burns you up! Why not fall in love in the Summer? That is easy. It is too dang Hot for love much less anything else! Fall? HA! How poetic! fall in the Fall... I guess it beats tripping on lust! Winter? Nope! That is the time we need to get over our past loves. So, Spring is the best time for love. |
| kevin urenda | I'm with Misti - I love tyhe Autumn, and it is a great time for love. |
| 2luv | I think that Fall is a great time to fall in love. It is a beautiful season that many take advantage of. So many colors cover the ground. It's not too hot, not too cold. It's a romantic season, so my answer is yes. |
| indefensible sushi | That's a trick question. There is no good time to fall in love. I think a better question might be, "Is the Fall a good time to change this survey question." And the answer to said question would have to be an emphatic yes. ;) |
| SterlingRose | Holidays seem to be the time when people miss lost loved ones the most. The holidays bring quiet desperation into the air - as people try to purchase more than they can afford - and try to capture the "Most Merry" and "Happiest Happy" and often come away with an empty feeling of fake forced feelings. Family is pressured and relationships are raped during holiday times - with all the pressure to be happy, purchase enough, and fit everything into one day of pure pretense. I think the holidays put a lot of pressure on everyone - except those that don't celebrate them. :-( However, on the upside - The colder weather is an excellent reason to cuddle and keep warm together. Two together can stay warmer than one alone. :-) |
| CryingShame58 | No matter how good or bad my life is going during the holidays, I focus what the true meaning of the holidays represent. I wrote an article (similar to this board survey question) that was published in my local paper. I attempt to spread good cheer throughout the year, but sometimes it isn't as contagious as I would prefer. Some of my loved ones have the tendency to be depressed during the holidays. I have found that a tender touch, sweet smile and an encouraging word can cause a positive affect to a loved one or stranger. |
| CryingShame58 | BTW...YES, the holidays brought me closer with my hubby...Two years ago my hubby and I were separated. The true meaning of Christmas, our traditions, and our passion brought us to reconcile. We have been married over 25 years. |
| Kirk | I dunno. I guess it all kind of evens out. |
| Misti | There is always stress because we don't have a lot of money but I love buying gifts for people. Then there's the fact that my husband's family is in New York and my family is in Texas. We've argued a lot this past month over Christmas but now we're having fun with it. My grandfather is racist, which is NOT funny, but I bought a box of Christmas cards at Thrift Town that feature a black Santa Claus (instead of the usual pink Santa Claus)and black children. I'm going to send one to my grandparents and include a line or two from The Color Purple or one of Malcolm X's speeches. My grandfather's blood pressure may go up but oh well. What a sad thing to get pissed about. Oh, and we're going to have our photo taken at Wal-Mart. I want to buy a toy monkey to hold in the picture and write,"Merry Chrimbo! Love, Kim Wu and Cookie Bear and Koko Loko." |
| Muryan | I tend to fall for guys who leave during the holidays (meaning Christmas, really) and during that time of separation they tend to lose interest. I've had only one boyfriend on Valentines day... so... I guess that the Holidays tend to drive them away for me... and that is really sad. |
| Violet | I love the holidays, but they seem to stress things for us. I (like Misti) always want to buy really nice presents for people, and my husband has to remind me that we "can't afford" to do so... and then things get tense. Then, there's the chaos of crowds and shopping malls. However, I love sleighbells and pine needles and presents and carols. So, It ends up pretty even I'd say. |
| Injun Joe | I prefer cruising through the holidays watching porn with a hooker... hahahahaha! No, seriously... if you are lucky enough to be in a relationship during the holidays, it can be a very special time. |
| Cookiedough | Silly Girl~ I really liked your poem about marriage, boy do I relate, very well doing! |
| Kirk | A Divorce. I guess I don't have much of a choice... |
| Misti | My husband wants a fez. I won't be giving it to him. He's a Libra and cares what people think about him, so I'm the only person he would wear it for. I encourage his silly side. We would have a fight over it because I would command him to wear it to the store or a restaurant and he would refuse. So no fez for Cookie Bear. |
| sarahsehee | For me not to go to London for 6 months- studying abroad. But hell! I'm going anyway, I'm excited. But more distance..as always |
| Shaun Jones | Hey Burgy The love blender is great for everyone. I love it I feel that writring is one of the best ways to express yourself. It dosent matter if you are the picked the best or not. What matters is that you can open yourself to everyone. There is nothing but love here. |
| B.K. | My stars say that I'm in the mood to turn everything upside down and backwards and when that happens WATCH OUT! bk |
| Star of David | Yes; because I have begun to realise that he is too good to me to be treated badly and deserves better than a bad attitute. I am used to having my way and that's got to change if I want us to stay together. He is very loving and I know that if I want this to work, I better show him the love I feel for him - because I certainly do love him - without being self centered or preoccupied with other unimportant things lest I leave him feeling unloved. |
| spaded | Well my love life seems to be on pause for the time being. So while I will not set any expectations (than be disappointed in myself if this just is not my time)I will definitely remain (quietly) open to new beginnings. |
| muryan | Since I feel that I need to begin to change numerous things in my life, including well, my LIFE, I also feel that I need to approach my love life (which is defunct at the moment) with a more mature attitude, and to begin to love people with all I have without NEEDING them to love me in return. |
| Poo Poo Kitty Farts | More hookers and pornography! Hahahahahahaha! |
| Kirk | Time for me to get back into datin' shape! Luckily I haven't let myself go too much... |
| Injun Joe | Thanks again Cap'n Kirk for proving my points. Maybe you can find new love among the Blunderheads... |
| julie gianni | Please, Mark: Get help. I for one hope you can use this new year to GET OVER ME! (Really, am I worth all this angst?!) |
| Kirk | Yeah, Injun Joe, this proves whatever fucking point you had. It's a GODDAMN POLL QUESTION. It's PERSONAL by nature. There's no reason for me NOT to mention what's going on in my life, you bizarrely-self-righteous fucktard. You really are a fuckwit. I'm ranting a bit here because I don't think people read this all that much and I'm just as happy to keep it off the board itself. If I was trolling for dates you'd know it, assmunch. |
| Chances | I've had it recommended that making new year's resolutions of any type is a kind of bad idea - what makes this time of year so good/more timely than the rest of the year - past, present or future? And Capitaine - we IGNORE InjunJoe around here because he is a wanker. He is the supreme master of the pissant ramble and lives only for feedback/escalation of the topic of his incidiary (sic?) responses. At any rate, he appears to have left (again?). |
| Chances | Incendiary. That's what I meant to say. |
| Kirk | Nah. We're all just making it up as we go along. |
| coujeaux | I don't think people fully grasp that in the right hands, there is nothing greater about the life we live than to experience it. In the wrong hands, it's perhaps the deadliest psychological weapon available to those who would misuse it. Too many of us take it as an inherent privilege of merely living, which makes it expendable and transitory when seen from that perspective. There's nothing more satisfying or more precious than love earned and kept the right way. My thoughts. |
| ~Harem~ | ` It took me a long time to learn something - that other people also seem to have trouble learning. And what's that ? That there is not just "one" right person for you. And That most of us spend so much time with the wrong person trying to make it right - that we don't leave enough time to find the right one. You can fall in love many times - with many different people. There are lots of fish in the sea. So if one doesn't work out - throw him back in- and getcha another one. Keep fishin and throwin them back in - till you get the one that fits just right. Simple. but then why did it take me so long to learn? Duh ????? LOL |
| Misti | I'm an expert on romantic love. I've been falling in love since I was four years old. Don't kiss in a closet. Kiss in front of your parents. It's worth the ass beating. If someone doesn't love you back, leave them the hell alone. If you haven't outgrown unrequited love by 30, there is no hope for you. Don't treat romantic love as your birthright. It is a blessing and a miracle. Don't shove someone screaming into your mold. If it isn't happening for you, love the fuck outta yourself and don't despair. Despair makes you ugly. Been there, done that, got cigarette burns on the t-shirt. |
| jack | umm yesss... its only that your love is free so why expect goods in return? |
| B.K. | Wings I know that love Gives you wings Teaches you how to soar When before you Could only walk and fall That love Gives me all I’ll ever need To breathe And fly……free ©bk |
| kevin urenda | It IS a miracle, as Misti points out... And yet I find that I'm of a mind with Kirk. I have discovered that the more I love, the less sure I am that I KNOW anything about it. I think we all kind of fumble our way through it. There are no absolutes in the human experience, but love sure is most delightfully close to that ultimate. |
| Violet | Not about love exactly... but maybe something that a lot of unmarried people don't know... There is no perfect marriage. You can love the person to the ends of the earth and their dirty ceral bowl and strange habits will still bug you. You can't escape that. I have so many girlfriends looking for the "perfect" man. He does not exisit. You can only hope to be with your best friend. That's the only way you make it through the daily grind and still feel lucky. Oh, and it is a very bad idea to pause and think about the "what ifs" but maybe people do know that. |
| CryingShame58 | I feel there is one thing about love that most people don't KNOW and that is that self-centered/self-absorbed people actually love others, but love theirselves more...he/she refuse to put someone else's desires above his/her's own... |
| Barefoot Bella | In my short 25 years in this world I've learned to lovers come and go. Sex does not equal love. Romance does not equal a hot relationship. These things I've had to learn the hard way, and more than once or twice it's cost me my self-respect. I'm sure everyone here has read/heard this poem at least once or twice, but I can't think of a better way to put it. "After a While," by Veronica A. Shoffstall After a while, you learn the subtle difference Between holding a hand and chaining a soul, And you learn that love doesn't mean leaning And company doesn't mean security, And you begin to learn that kisses aren't contracts And presents aren't promises, And you begin to accept your defeats With your head up and your eyes open With the grace of a woman, not the grief of a child, And you learn to build all your roads on today Because tomorrow's ground is too uncertain for plans. And futures have a way of falling down in midflight. After a while, you learn That even sunshine burns if you get too much. So you plant your own garden and decorate your own soul, Instead of waiting for someone to bring you flowers. And you learn that you really can endure... That you really are strong. And you really do have worth. And you learn and learn... With every goodbye you learn. |
| ladyinwaiting | How do you describe love...now that is a million dollar question... I think others are placed in our lives to love for different reasons...for instance...we are given our children as a gift to learn of unconditional love...others pass through our paths so we can learn to love ourselves...then others are placed in our paths to help us learn of what type of love we are willing to accept and others to help us know what is an unacceptable love...then of course there are those that help us to learn to accept love without strings attatched...gee, I have loved many persons for many reasons and i have been loved for a variety of reasons...I feel that with each person we love we have shared a special part of ourself and we leave a little part of ourself with them and take a little part of them with us when we part, by doing this we learn more about ourself and are molded into a better person as a result of the encounter...I would not trade any of my encounters... then of course there is always the saying..."if i love you and you do not love me then someone else will" that always seems to work too... |
| Liz | love is fleeting. It is rare. We are all basically selfish and unwilling to bend to another's way. Compromise is key, but more difficult than I thought it would be. Monogamy is perhaps the single most important element. If one party is unfaithful, the fabric is forever rent. |
| Jon | No I don't think I know something about love that most people don't seem to know/grasp, because love is what you think it is. Love is just a word, it's the feeling that is unique to everyone. |
| Cwgrltxamber | You can love so many different people in so many different ways. Sometimes you don't even realize that you love someone, until you find out that they don't love you back. |
| spaded | I think I know something about love that most everyone knows, but no one likes to admit. Love is never enough, not sometimes, all the time. It is the icing on the cake and it makes the world go round, and life might not be a whole hell of a lot of fun without some kind of love (romantic or otherwise), all this is true. However you have to eat, sleep and stay warm, and in the end love alone only takes care of the warm part. Which is why money is the cause of so many fights within a marriage. To sum up the key to a good relationship (especially of the romantic variety), is to love madly and spend wisely. There is just no such thing as living on love. |
| Kirk | Well, both; I don't see how the two are mutually exclusive. I get a little tired of everyone suggesting that their offering would "make a great Valentine's gift", from NPR to casinos... But it is a reminder and opportunity to make a particuarly strong gesture...and if your imagination doesn't come up with some spark, there's always commercial stuff to fall back on... |
| Violet | I think it's nice that we have a day designated for celebrating love. Sure, it's over commercialized... but it is whimsical and entertaining. It reminds people to be romantic. It gives people incentive to take chances on love. There is already too much to be cynical about in the world... politics, war, work, money... let's just enjoy one of life's simple pleasures. :-) |
| sarahsehee | v-day in the states is definitely over-commercialized and it can make people without romantic love sorta depressed. But having a day to celebrate love in general I think is a good idea |
| cryingshame58 | For me and my family we celebrate the love we have for one another not just for romance. When I was a little tike my Daddy and Grandfather always brought me a heart shaped candy box....the one from my Daddy was decorated with red lace and a rose...the one from my Grandfather was much smaller with about five pieces of candy...I always had a hand made Valentine card to give to them and also made one for my Mother, Sister and Grandmother...It taught me that love is a precious gift that comes in different places and grows deeper...When romantic love hits, Valentine's Day can help a love to stop, reflect and show how much you appreciate each other...how is this for sappy? I appreciate each new day, so any holiday is a wonderful celebration for me... |
| Barefoot Bella | Either... it's really what you make it. You can buy into the commercial end of it all if you choose to. The candy, flowers, cheesy little presents are there. Or, as my husband and I are doing this year (as we do every year), we'll be spending a nice quiet night together. Maybe we'll order a pizza and just do what we love most-- spend time together and just be in the moment. I don't think either of us feels we need corny little gifts to show each other our love. |
| Star of David | Here I am ELABORATING! Valentines Day is overrated and commercialised. We all know that. We whine and moan and groan about it endlessly calling it an utter waste of time. Why is there one particular day reserved to celebrate love, many people question, adding that if you love the one you are with, every day is a reason to celebrate. So it is commercialised and the card shops, jewellery shops, gift shops, clothes shops flower shops and 10,000 other shops make bags of money out of it. But stop whining and think about it: would you complain at length if someone who loves you gave you a bunch of lovely roses on this day? Would you not feel lonesome if no one even bothered to say Happy Valentine’s Day? Doesn’t Valentine’s Day still remind you of what is was like with that first valentine, when you still believed in the simplicity and beauty of love without all its inherent problems and issues and bills? Valentine’s Day could be beautiful if you let it. More appropriate than putting down the day every chance you get would be to make the choice - to enjoy or not, you decide. It is our choice whether we allow it to be over commercialised or take is as a chance to share love. So what if you don’t have someone to share your love with? So what if the one you love is in love with someone else? Celebrate love! Celebrate it with your buddies - they definitely deserve your love! So what if you didn’t get flowers? Give flowers! Turn this day into one where you make someone else smile and spread some love. That would definitely make it worthwhile. Whining about Valentine’s Day is an absolute waste of time. The fact that it is so popular and the shops earn bags of money means it is extremely popular and will not just go away. So why not add to the feeling of love in the air and give a little love to someone else? Some people actually enjoy Valentine’s Day. For those who find it hard to be romantic on a daily basis, this day offers them the opportunity to let go and do things they usually refrain from doing. It lets them show love without being embarrassed - ’tis Valentine’s Day after all! You don’t have to buy anything for anyone on this day. Some people enjoy buying things for their loved ones and some people don’t. There is no rule that you have to give something to the one you love. But show them a little extra love, what would it hurt? Smile a little wider, spread a little valentine cheer! No matter what, Valentine’s Day makes people stop and think about how much they appreciate and love the one they are with. Whatever said and done, on Valentine’s Day it is still nice to have a little extra attention. Valentine’s Day brings out the romantic in people and on this day guys who would rather be dead than be romantic are emboldened to do all kinds of soppy things. This is one day that is impossible to forget. Card shops and flower shops have record sales in aid of this day and everywhere you look, hearts and flowers are springing up. Décor in shops revolves around the colour red and hearts and every other commercial on TV is about love. Wherever you look, you are reminded about Valentine’s Day. Wouldn’t it be a shame to let this tradition die? True, love is something that should be shown and expressed every single day, not just on one specific day but this particular day gives us a chance to go slightly overboard and have fun. Why ever not? Christmas is over commercialised but that does not mean we stop celebrating that special day. So why not just stop picking on Valentine’s Day and choose to celebrate? Go on, have a great Valentine’s Day! ;) |
| Jon | I always felt that V-Day was a good way for the macho men who are too "tough" to express their love everyday was a good way for them to be chessy, even if for only one day. Yes, it's a shame that the only day for these men to be romantic and not feel any less of a man is reserved for one day but hey at least it's something right? |
| aparajita | vday is over commercialized in my humble opinion. sure, it is nice to receive flowers and such (at least i think i remember how that feels). but, to me, the best and most cherished sentiments are the ones that come for no reason whatsoever. a 'just because' bouquet that is sent at random in the year has got to be the loveliest. i agree with jon, for those in relationships, if done for the right reasons and NOT out of obligation because of the day it is... vday can be a wonderful way to enhance romance. the trouble is that with all long term relationships vday becomes as much an obligation instead of a reason to celebrate. too bad really. |
| Misti | Romance is vastly overrated. When it gets down to it, nothing is sexier than friendship. When you are best friends with the one you love, that is the best thing in the world. You can have hearts and flowers and all that crap with almost anyone. It is no small thing when you find someone who surfs your warped wavelength and "gets" you like nobody else. |
| cryingshame58 | ditto-- |
| B.K. | I’ll Take Romance Romance sets the stage Passions rushes the cues Love sprints in place The smiles break your face Amore takes a bow then Waits patiently for its review ©bk |
| Kirk | Undersold. I think. I sure am missing it, anyway. |
| Violet | Undersold. Though I agree with misti on th best friends thing, there is nothing in the world that is better than being romanced by the one you love. if you mix best friendship and romance, you've got the perfect combo. |
| spaded | maybe a little of both. I mean I can't say that I have been overwhelmed with joy the (few) times I have been given flowers just for the heck of it. However that is probably as creative on the romance front the guys i tend to date are. So I might enjoy a romantic candle lit dinner with some soft jazz and a dress for the best but let's eat a home cooked (by him) meal at home than slow dance on the deck under the stars kind of thing. Truthfully though, I think I would find myself thinking man this is cheesy so... Untill I am familiar with true romance, I will go with a little of both veering more towards overrated...lol. Flowers die and I don't really have a sweet tooth. |
| Barefoot Bella | Undersold. I agree with Misti's thoughts. The real thing may come along only once in a lifetime and needs to be cherished while you're in it. I met the love of my life almost five years ago and we married two years ago. And while the flowers and chocolates and love poems aren't everyday occurrences, the romance definitely it is. |
| wolfscreamer | I wanna hold doors open,I wanna give flowers without bein called a woos,I wanna watch Somewhere in Time and enjoy it.Romance is the best ever and the world would be sooooo much better if it was compulsory.There endeth the lesson . |
| Kirk | Sweet jimminy crickets, I hope not... |
| Rhetoric | Here, Here, Kirk! I hope not. However, being unattached has its merits right now. |
| sarahsehee | it's gotta get better than this, right? |
| Misti | Yes. Affirmative. Absolutely. Oh, yeahhhhh. |
| Chances | The good old days are whenever you were true to your heart. That's the point of reflection - that's the love resurrection. Couldn't resist this survey. Love to you all. |
| spaded | Well, since the 'good old days' implies something in the past... I certainly hope those that are in a wonderful place in their love lives have not already determined that they will never experience a time as good as this again. As for me my 'good old days' are definitely a thing of the past at this point, but no matter how lonely I am right now, I refuse to believe that i will not have plenty more 'good old days' (of love and life in general) to add to my well stocked store house...lol. |
| chris | Are you serious? |
| RennieLorca | "old"?...shoot no, not for me. Gotta be new and vibrant and funny with enough old parts working to make me feel loved. Yep, two lips, two arms, lots of hugs and kisses, and that slow ride down the pike we do (metaphorically) in a "good old days" way for sure. 0 to 60 and we're there never made me really happy :). But sure, I'll still cook him a "good old days" apple pie just to see him lick his lips. And, he'll hold a door for me, flex a muscle or two just to see me smile at him a bit more than just thankfully ..... Rennie |
| alabama | When it comes to love, who the hell knows! |
| chris | If wanting to die in a strange sort of masochistic, Buddhist-embrace-of-pain way, then I'd have to answer with a resounding, "Yeah!" |
| Kirk | good lord i hope not |
| Kirk | (heh, i forgot i answered this already) |
| Jon | I don't know, and I like it that way. |
| Lolly Gaggin | "And tomorrow we might not be together I'm no prophet, and I don't know nature's ways So I'll try to see into your eyes right now And stay right here, 'cause these are the good old days These are the good old days And stay right here, 'cause these are the good old days These are the good old days These are the good old days These are the good old days These are the good old days" -Carly Simon ANTICIPATION |
| twiddlebug80 | No. They are not. Social norms have made that impossible. Women are too independent which has caused men to not even try anymore. I think that 'independent women' is a negative thing. Independent meaning I don't need you period. Women need to be 'free'. Free meaning I don't need you but I want you in my life. Let relationships go back to being complimentary instead of co-dependent. The good old days included courting, asking parental permission, holding hands, bringing flowers, coming to the door to get your date, respecting the other person, courteous, somewhat modest, and such. I will admit that I do not think that I would feel totally comfortable if all of the sudden life was like that but I could definitely get used to it. |
| Stephen | Haha, good ol' days. Why does Happy Days come to mind? No, I don't think so. |
| cryingshame58 | each tomorrow you can look back and remember the good old days (for love). sometimes, in today you have to look for the good in the significant other's heart...my all time favorite saying is "there's good and bad in everything..." |
| it dosent matter | ummm lol ahh umm i think everyone might think i ah.. over step myself as i answer this but.... eventually yes |
| Jiva55 | They sure are!!! When you find the love of your life how could they not be? |
| Misti | New question, por favor. Please let the next one be FUN. Maybe even crazy? |
| hippiechic |
| B.K. | I like planned for an anniversary, birthdays, special occasions etc. Spontaneous (my fave) is the incredible moment when the stars and the magic is THERE waving its flag in front of you. Then you don't want to come up for air for about a week. bk |
| Misti | My spontaneity has gotten me in a heap of trouble."Hey, let's road trip to Vegas and get married!" And I have this Mexico thing...sometimes when I'm drinking with a guy in a bar I get so drunk that I beg him to take me to Mexico. That's happened more than a few times. They never take me up on it, thankfully. Careful planning bores me but maybe I should start considering it. |
| Triciattx | Women have come to expect romantic gestures for birthdays, anniversaries, Mother's Day, Valentines Day, and the like because the media hypes up the emotional levels weeks beforehand, so they'd be a cad or moron not to deliver. Unfortunately, we tend to take a lot for granted that the husband or boyfriend will do the expected, and take us to dinner or buy us some token of their affection. It tends to diminish the element of romance when it's coerced or expected. Surprising us when we're expecting nothing is real validation that, even when there is no coercion or television prompts reminding them, they still want to do something to show us they love us, or are thinking of us. This is the stuff romance novels are written about! Just my opinion, and for the record, I'm as blown away with a simple bag of Hershey's kisses as most women are with a Gucci bag! |
| Violet | I love planning... going out for dinner on a special night and dressing up is fun. I love holidays so I can think up fun presents for my husband and I love getting fun presents. :-) I also like random acts of love. I believe a good relationship has a balance of both. |
| cryingshame58 | I love the element of surprise...sometimes that takes planning and sometimes it can be spontaneous...Partners should find out "what is romantic" to their sweetheart...From meeting their partner at the front door wearing only saran wrap to giving/sharing tickets to their favorite event or show...many varieties of being romantic... |
| Kirk | Honestly, I hate surprises, because I tend to be a bit fussy about some things, and if it's not something I'm thrilled by, like it's just ok not great, I hate having to feign absolute delight. (By a similar token I'm a real P.i.t.A. to buy gifts for...I've been blessed with enough disposable income that the amount of stuff I really want but haven't bought but is still in a gift price range is pretty small...) |
| spaded | I think both are ok. I am not a romantic in the regularly used sense of the word so if a guy plans a nice night out that is great. I am more likely to go the spontaneous route myself and it would be a silly gift that would just be between us. For example me and my guy went to the park the other day and spent twenty or thirty minutes on the swings. I introduced him to spidering and boy the looks people gave us driving by were great. I think i will go buy a well made doll house miniature swing set. Corny as hell, but fun and my idea of "romantic". Of course i thought swinging was romantic you don't meet many men in there mid twenties willing to just let loose and be a kid again, and i like that in a man. Gives me goose bumps... ;-) |
| ladyinwaiting | i love a well planned surprise and let the spontaneity move the remainder of the evening, but then again i am a hopeless romantic... |
| B.K. | No, but I know it will be wonderful to read his face and eyes as I read the words written to him. Or to read anything at all to him, even the grocery list ha. Maybe we can get past Beans and Rice before we attack one another. ha. |
| RennieLorca | Hummm, you also impulse buy at the grocery like us, B.K.? "Beans and Rice"...you two are tough. We haven't made it past almonds and asparagus :) ..... Rennie |
| RennieLorca | .... we did get to "battery" once, B.K., but that caused us a whole 'nother set of problems :) ..... Rennie |
| Misti | Oh, yeah. I've read poetry to every lover I've ever had, not counting the drunken, ill-fated flings. I've read mine and the poems of my favorites...Bukowski, Ferlinghetti, Corso, Plath, Sexton, Jong, etc. The experience is always favorable. It's connecting on a mental and spiritual level, because church for me is sharing great writing/art/ideas/music with someone I adore. There is nothing holier than that. |
| muryan | I agree with Misti. Although I haven't actually read to them, I have given them things to read. The results have always been favorable. :) |
| Champagne | When I was in the dating scene - I had several Personals ads on the internet. Frequently, I read poetry on the phone to my new beau before we met. The effect on him was so provocative and strong - that without meeting; he would swear he was in love with me - A very undesirable effect in my estimation. It only proved to me the power of the written word. I learned to cool it with the poetry before meeting a future beau. Much safer that way. |
| Shaun Jones | Hey this goes out to everyone I just love all of your work I'm sorry for not writing very often but I've been busy lately and now I'm back Even though my work isn't very known I feel deepfully greatful that it is amoung legends which is what all of you people are Thank You and keep writing |
| Chrissy | Yea...It was me expressing how I was feeling at the moment about our relationship, something I thought he and I could handle. He stopped talking to me for a week and then ended the relationship and all other forms of communication with me. I love writing and reading ym poetry, especially since it's how I express my feelings the best, but ever since then(it's going on a year) I've been hesitant. |
| Jon | Yeah I've read poetry to women I loved, and got typical reactions. The most memorable was the time when I read some poetry to my friends. They asked me why didn't it rhyme, I smiled and asked for a beer. |
| Kirk | Hmm. Probably not, or not enough to make it memorable. Which is kind of sad given how I'm the Blender-Keeper and all. I've written some neat things on dormroom msg boards though. |
| Violet | I've never read poetry out loud to him... but maybe I'll try sometime. Once though, waaaay back in the beginning I sang him a song in the shower. It was Shawn Colvin's "I don't know why..." I think he was moved. :-) Does that count? |
| kevin urenda | Neruda... slowly exquisite. 'nuff said. |
| Misti | yeah there was a guy who wanted me to write an ode to his penis...he hated it 'cause it was too short |
| uopflutist | My then-current love discovered a poem I'd written about an ex AND that it had won a poetry contest. He got jealous and said I had to prove that I really loved him by writing a better poem about him and winning a contest with it. Needless to say that love is now also in the ex catagory... |
| Chances | No. He usually hears what I want to read him (though nothing's stopping him reading here if he has to) and gives me the requisite praise. But that's not why I write, and I share because I've usually found ideas that I want to share. Occasionally it's because I've written something I really liked and I have a big head about it. : ) |
| Chances | And that was probably also a partial response to the last survey question... which I deliberted too long over. |
| Chances | deliberated... that's what I meant (and I even proofed it... "*sigh*) |
| Misti | Experience. You've got to live and love before you write a good love poem. To write a GREAT love poem, you should be relatively well-read. You should read great poets and other kinds of writers. You should know at least five Hank Williams songs by heart and at least two Billie Holiday songs by heart. It basically comes down to taking risks. Live inside the comfort zone and you'll get fat and sedate. Fat, sedate people are piss poor writers. |
| wistful | The courage to let your heart lead or the compassion to understand when others do the same, the perspective to see it for all that you/they wished it to be or all that it really was instead, the imagination or vision to see its form in a myriad of shapes and colors and deeds and events, and a command of language to set the expression singing. (A bit pompously put, but heart-felt nonetheless.) |
| Chances | IMHO... This is a bit euphemistic, but you can't WRITE a good love poem. You can only read a good love poem. It either connects with the reader, which is timing, or it doesn't. Work backwards from there, and you've got what it takes to write a good love poem. It's a lot like love itself. Dumb luck. : ( |
| Chances | BTW, that was IMHO - In my humble opinion, not LMHO - laughing my head off. : D |
| B.K. | Well your muse of course. Writing well is one thing but adding that feel it from your nose to your toes part or till it pops out the top of your head as Emily Dickinson said is much harder. |
| B.K. | It's that dark cosmic energy that feeds your soul, wakes you up in the middle of the night and says write this down and nudges you constantly. When it's not there you are searching, but it has to come as naturally as breathing. bk |
| Kirk | A good use of details. Not so many that they make the poem only make sense to the "intended recipient", but enough to make it more real and grab the general reader's interest |
| uopflutist | To the amateaur poet, I would say cut the fluff. And don't try to write twenty deep love poems when all you've got is a crush. Which leads me to believe that experience matters. When the writer has really BEEN LOW DOWN IN LOVE or HEARTBROKEN, their work is more convincing and moving. Another note, write down IDEAS when you are at your high or low love point. Come back to those good ideas later when you are a little more calm to write a coherent poem. |
| uopflutist | (btw, not to offend, I've written loads of crap and a very few poems which I consider "good", so I'm definitly an amateaur too) |
| RennieLorca | I just write. Much of it goes different directions over the years. I have some very intelligent and verbally communicative friends who never write a line of poetry because they are afraid of criticism and possibly not to be praised for posting. IF they can't get a Nobel, then it's not GOOD so why bother. I never cease to be amazed at who is moved (or not) by some particular verse or idea. Some of the very lines I almost don't share have been those I've gotten the most e-mail, calls or remarks on from folks who know me fairly well. I go read poetry in search of others having similar feelings where I can relate and appreciate. I realize it is the same with those who read what I write. GOOD is when someone can relate. You can put together the best lines in your own mind and them not have meaning to someone else without some base or similar experiences. I've gone back and read some old works of mine that hit even me more after additional experiences. Then again, some spicy lines have lost their flavor. Anything creative is in the eye of the beholder and mind of the creator. GOOD is relative. Wish I had some GOOD relatives (lemme see which ones are reading me after writing THAT). GOOD is when I can read and relate ..... Rennie |
| Injun Joe | talent |
| Kirk | Oh, and, usually, heartbreak |
| triciattx | Angst. Clear and simple. |
| Jon | Honesty. I don't care if roses are red or violets are blue. I like my steak medium-rare just like a poem, raw enough to be honest and not too grilled to hide its faults. |
| muryan | I agree with Jon. But I also believe that sometimes it doesn't matter how much experience you have, all you have to do is love, and as long as you've given everything to that love you have the experience to write a love poem. However, like me, some people just can't put their feelings into words all the time. |
| chris | Love. And intelligence. |
| RocketPoweredVampire | The moments when your confused about it all but yet youre still smiling... |
| sassy | you can't write a good love poem if you have never been in LOVE....real love, the kind that bleeds from your veins. I think some of the best love poetry has an element of heartbreak in it. |
| cryingshame58 | It takes a person that was born with the gift of writing-- plus has experienced true love. More often people can't express their feelings into words and that's why "I LOVE YOU" is used often or some feel "too often"... |
| Eve | Passion and a a clear mind |
| Kirk | Heartbreak. And a sense of reserve. |
| Crystal | Emotionally feeling some sort of blasting impact that someone has in your life,the realization that it seems all so out of your control, and the fear that you someday may forget that feeling, or not ever have it again, maybe even the breathtaking fear that someday that person for some reason or another just won't be there as long as you want them to. I think that you have to have that fear of loss and losing to honestly appreciate them and show them that you do. |
| Crystal | TEARS |
| sarahsehee | to take walks at night until the FL mosquitos start to suck all the blood outta me. Also going to nyc and stuffing our faces with as much good food as possible |
| twisted_lie | well..there is no favorite thing really..because when i'm with my sweetheart everything is special..whether it's summer,winter,autumn or spring. every minute i get to spend with my soul mate is heaven. :) |
| muryan | Go to the bar... play pool, and watch him take his shots with that damn sexy cigarette in his mouth. I don't think there is anything more sexy than that. |
| RocketPoweredVampire | HOW SWEATY SEX SEX SEX...! THAT BITE ME REAL HARD IN THE NECK AND SLAPPIN OF ASS SHIT.! |
| CryingShame58 | VISITING THE WHITE SANDS ON THE GULF OF MEXICO FOR A WEEK |
| muryan | Absolutely. If my parents can still keep it together in this cynical age, and still be as in love as when they first fell 30 years ago, hell yeah I believe it. Also... I am a firm believer that when you love someone, you never stop. If you ever stop loving them... maybe you never truly loved them at all. |
| Crystal | I think that there is a forever kind of love. Although, I also believe to an extent that couples are not ever constantly in that kissing cuddling breathing for eachoter love. That trouble in relationships make you fall out of love, and the way it is handled makes you fall back in. But as far as love goes, I don't know anyone that I just don't love anymore, and saddening as it is, there is someone that I am still so "In Love" with, that I sometimes wish I weren't, because it just too painful for us both. |
| lilla | Love is a feeling that could change while people and situation change. Time could also also make a difference. To describe it as "everlasting" is a conscious decision, a mature choice. It is not something like a wild grass that can grow spontaneously in one's garden. Love when you want it to grow and glow infitely is a commitment. Considering human nature it may seem to be impossible but only when you dont decide to choose it to be in thay way. I take my hats off to people who made that choice! |
| anastasia | I believe in love and its power and yes I believe that everlasting love is definetly possible. The person might go away but the love can always remain. The heart has its reason that reason does not know. |
| uopflutist | Yes. It is part fate, and part decision. You have to have that *something* that brings you together - that's fate. But you also have to continue to take care of the relationship - that's decision-making. I'm talking about a healthy, loving relationship where two people fall in love and decide to share their life together. |
| Misti | Yeah, just look at Johnny Depp. |
| twisted_lie | i'm not sure if i understand the meaning of love anymore.. but i do think that something like everlasting love is possible..why? because if there wasn't we'd bloody kill each other! :P |
| Influence | Yes I do for I believe that love is the very expression of GOd in our lives and as we manifest His love...in any relationship everkasting love can be a reality! |
| Kirk | I do, divorce and all. Takes a lot of work though. And like Tom Robbins says...Making Love stay is easy. It's lust that flees. |
| kluless | I am with you, Kirk... I think it's possible, but it takes a lot of concentrated bursts of (mutually-directed) energy over a LONG period of time. |
| Misti | I've always said my best poems come from my worst times. When the feeling is really good, it's hard for me to capture it and express it without sounding smarmy or cheesy. Pain is easier for me to write because it puts me in a trance. I go into a numb state kind of like catatonia and the words flow and I can't stop them. I am more self-conscious when writing joyful poems. |
| B.K. | I'm just the opposite when I'm miserable what comes out of me can later become regretable spew so it's best left on my computer hidden away or better yet unsaid. Lately I've had writers block, plus they thought my mothers cancer might have come back, but we got a good report today so now maybe I can think and write again. |
| Corinna | I agree. I think that we tend to hold back so much more pain than we do joy. Pain and heartache tend to tear at your heart and your mind and most of the time the best way to calm this is to write it out. I think joy is easier to express verbally or physically. |
| Kirk | "All happy families are alike; every unhappy family is unhappy in its own way"--same kind of goes for relationships. Or, err, something like that. Also, you tend to have more time on your hands when you're single, and you might be trying to impress the person you're after. And, I dunno, happy poems can very easily sound very cheesy. Despair is always in style, or at least close enough that it keeps a thousand goth stores in business. |
| eyeseemsocalm2all | I agree because sometimes you have to go through a lot of heartache to find who you're really meant to be with. |
| CryingShame58 | I, like Most people that write poetry, probably began writing from heartache other than from the joy of love, but the gift they find takes a life of its on...we have a choice to grow into a writer that can write about anything...although, if we don't use it, we will lose it... |
| Chances | I think that extremes and complexities are easier to write about... whether extreme heartache or extreme joy, or a whole strange and unusual mixture of emotions that come with love. I think when you're not really moved, one way or another, when the complexity does not tug at your heart and braincells for way too much of the day, you're probably not likely to be all that inspired to write about it. Then again, it might be easier to write about. : ) |
| muryan | I agree. To quote Rob Thomas from M20, "I write when I'm sad. When I'm happy, I don't want to sit and write I want to go out and be happy." I feel the same way. |
| darwin | i suck at writing when I'm happy. There just isn't any muse that would take a chance on me... plus I had a high school english teacher who once gave her interpretation of depression, as a need to change. And I think that loves heartache is partly that. And for those who have had that need and desire to write over the years. When we write at least we can change a small part of ourselves, if only through exorcising it out, or making ourselves something we are not in our writings. For me at least, I can write for myself only if I am in the trenches. Otherwise, I have to use my imagination and picture others and situations that I might have had that were akin to it. so yes. writing in love doesn't exist for me (much) writing out of love gives me some of he best things I've ever written. |
| iwan pritchard | Why would you assume that "most" poets HERE would probably say that it's easier to write from heartache than from the joy of love? What kind of sad commentary is that on our beloved community in Blenderwood? Blenderwood - is that what a guy gets reading sexy romance poetry? |
| Crystal | I myself, tend to be able to work through pain, through poetry, although, at times, it's too deep to do that. When I look back through my account, most all of my poetry is written when I was feeling down, or confused and sad. |
| kluless | I tend to divide it down the middle (happy/sad), so I think that as long as you can channel that emotion, whatever it may be, any poet can write from any emotional location. As for me, I think that ANY poetry depends on where I'm coming from, and I have not been thrown into the Pit of Despair in a while, thank goodness. |
| chris | For me, yes. Poems without some purpose tend to lapse into formula - or end up sounding like an academic exercise. Passion and strong emotions - i.e., reasons - are the fuel that powers the words. |
| Kirk | Absolutely. I don't think I write unless I have an idea that says "hey, that might make a decent read". Sometimes it's a small idea, sometimes a bigger idea. But just wanting to commemorate something usually isn't enough for me. I guess I hope that selectivity excuses some of my immodest habit of putting most (but not all!) of my submissions on the front page. |
| darwin | I do....something vivid usually. I did a lot of thigns in my past that I wasn't proud, and when they get to hard to handle sometimes, I use it's cathartic power and turn it into something creative. And I like to think that people can relate to what I write a lot. I don't do well with fantasy, but I do well with what I know. |
| Echolocation | Yes -- but for me it has to be an internal reason. In other words, I don't think I'd do well trying to write one for an external purpose like a contest, or a friend's birthday, or because I feel like I haven't written in a while and should. The raison d'etre of my pieces is usually that something internal is (loudly) demanding expression. It might arise from an external stimulus, but more often it's something that, well, ferments until it pops the cap off my inspiration... |
| aparajita | absolutely. mostly it is an intense personal feeling/reason that prompts me to write it out. |
| Misti | No, which is why I'm so prolific. Sometimes I just tell myself to write a poem or three or four so I do. My best poems have been inspired by tremendous loss or pain, though. At those times, the words just flow. |
| B.K. | Yes, I can't just write to write, it has to flow. (the muse has to be there,) If I try to force it, it takes all day and it's not generally very good. The wierd part is that everyone thinks I should be able to write birthday and poems for all occasions, but it just does not work that way. bk |
| Echolocation | In terms of questions that shape your life, "Will you marry me" was pretty significant. "What do you think about having a baby" ranks high on the list as well. Alas, rounding out the top three is "Do you want a divorce?" I'm hoping not to hear that one again... |
| Max-Rom | One question that comes to mind: "What have you been reading?". This she asks during a "delicate" situation. I'll leave it at that. ;p |
| Juhaa | "Will you always tell me the truth?" My answer was "Yes". And so far, it's been true. |
| Tanqueray Cowboy | "Can we still be friends?" |
| butterfly03 | I would have to say the numerous-emotion-envoking question: "What are you thinking?" I would have roughly 2.3 billion answers swarming in my head but the only one that found its way out of my mouth was "Oh, nothing much." Which was really funny because for 1, I never thought about THAT answer, and for 2 it was an oppertunity to tell what was on my mind. Maybe I was so busy thinking, I thought I was asked what are you saying. ;} |
| sassy | is it mine? |
| darwin | On purpose? |
| Madison | I can think about the questions I’ve been asked – the necessary, the unnecessary. And I can think about the hard questions I’ve had to ask a lover – and sometimes more importantly, myself. But it’s difficult for any of it to measure up when it comes to the verbal communication, and the silent trust of one man. It’s the questions he never asked that made him the truest lover. |
| kluless | May I have you? |
| Juhaa | Not in my relationship. I don't know what it is about me, but I just don't seem to fit into the stereotypical idea of a "woman" in the romantic sense. My husband buys me roses regularly, says romantic things, loves closeness and cuddling. It's not that I don't like those things, I do! But I just never have the urge to do "romantic" things myself. (except cuddling, at times) My 'romance' takes a different form I think. Very non-traditional. Hmmm. |
| B.K. | O.K. hum I'll bite ha. No, I don't think so. I think they have different ideas of what is romantic and what is not than we do. But they like the juice of romance just as much as we do, if not more. bk |
| Echolocation | No -- but I think they may be often tuned to different stations! I remember something a college boyfriend said, after we'd been dating about a year. He said, "I finally figured it out: all those things you do for me, those say you love me. And it's much cooler than if you just said it in words all the time." It was this big revelation for him. Maybe the key is to recognize in what ways your partner is saying "I love you" whether it's a note in your lunchbox or remembering how you like their coffee. As I get older I'm able to spot love in far more guises, which is nice :) |
| Jon | No, but I know her and her friends would like to think they are. Oh wait, that's not the question, time for me to hide. |
| Chances | Yes, I think women are more attuned to romance than men. Because men, no matter how Don Juan or savoir faire have really dumb moments about romance. Really! On the other hand women can either be switched on or off - but they're never stupid about it. : ) |
| Chances | haha... so women have better tuning but a less reliable television set, while with men you sometimes put up with scrolling and white noise. : D |
| Kirk | In my experience, women want to be traditionally romanced, and men who want to live up to that have to figure out how to do that. So which one is more "attuned" is a bit of a tossup... |
| mytwocents | I once heard a saying - "Men think, while women feel." Maybe God made us that way, because he knew that Mommies would spend more time with the Babies, while the men would be out in the fields plowing and growing the veggies. Maybe we are created that way. And of course their are the hormones. Women face a great change in hormones each month during their menstrual cycles, and pregnancy. Men don't have that constant change of hormones - which I read, really wreaks havoc on your emotions. Sometimes women cry for no reason or get cranky because of these extreme change in their hormones. Thus they are pictured as more emtional. I know many men that are extremely romantic, and many women as well. So to label one group as more or less romantic than the other is not easy to do. But I would say, that the world thinks of women as being more romantic then men.... and perhaps there is something to that. Just - My Two Cents.... - By the way, I am wreaking havoc on the Political Blender Board - and I am not a naughty bad boy.... but rather have something to say that I really feel is true. I will take this time to apologize to Kirk and the Blender people - if they take my words in a tone that they were not intended. I do belive that since Kirk labeled the politics board as a place for not only political talk and debate, but also for controversial issues - That I indeed have a place there to voice my opnions as well. Thanks for letting me share - My Two Cents. Two cents is a small amount of money. But sometimes it is needed to be able to purchase the goods. Or at least help in the sales tax. LOL. Thanks Again. |
| B.K. | Romance is romance not babysitting, you might have something on the hormonal thing. You think men are not hormonal hahaha think again. You just don't use your hormones to have a baby with. Your's cause us to have the babies and they go up and down with the tides as well. Yours rape and pillage when they don't have the words to woo. And the woo depends on what level of the hormonal IQ you are on. hahahah |
| insense82 | I agree with the fact that we really can't say. After all, men are known for their being attuned to romance only during the beginning of the relationship, and the list goes on, while women are at it 24/7. There are, in fact, exceptions, and they are responsible for creating havoc with the statistics. |
| Jon | The last time I checked it's usually the man who is doing the courting and/or chasing. Women know what they want from you the first five minutes they decide to take you seriously, men try to figure it out and spend the rest of the relationship trying not to piss you off. Women want romance and men give it(if they think you're worth it). Which sex is more romantic? I think they're both about dead even. |
| bobopro1020 | yes, they feel stroner urges to make commitments and live by them. men on the other hand have the same urges but fantasy and suggestiveness make them wonder or at least think about it more.... |
| cpnina01 | Yes women are more attuned to ramance, because women make concious decisons when it comes to matters of the heart, where as men seem to fly by the seat of their pants, not putting a whole lot of thought into their words, and actions. Women sacrifice so much and give so much, that they have more to lose, because they are giving their all, and put their emotions on the line. But men on the hand ususally don't sacrifice as much or as give as much to the relationship, so they dont' have much to lose, and therefore are not very attuned to relationships becasue if they gave more and put more in the relationship then I think this would make them be more attuned to the woman in their life because they are a making concious effort to make things work and please their woman, so that they will not lose her. |
| seth | true pain is love believe me i know |
| Misti | That the love won't be returned and if it is that it won't be as intense as the love I feel for them or that it won't last as long as I want it to, which is forever. Because I believe in that, despite everything. I am into monogamy and the long haul. |
| mytwocents | If love involves pain, then you are with the wrong person. I finally found a painless relationship - that has lasted for more than five years, and that was how I knew that this time it was the right one. I say, if it's painful; move on. There are painless relationships out there, just waiting to be had - I found one; you can too. ` |
| spaded | Well, I truly loved and for some insane reason still do truly love my husband. We are seperated and going for a divorce (I finally got the paper work all in). I made the decision to leave, because truly loving him meant accepting him. And who he is, is not someone I can build a life for me and my children with. He is a great guy, but he is a terrible husband and father, who can not take the responsiblity neccesary to help take care of a family. So for me hurting him, was what hurt me the most. Of course he does not believe I would have left if I loved him, but I don't think I will ever love so intensely again. |
| Crystal | The fact that you will love them forever, even if they may not love you for a fraction of that time, and you get so upset at yourself, because if they find someone that makes them happy or you assume they are happy, you want the best for them, yet at the same time, so horribly hurt. You're just torn that it couldn't be you, and you keep struggling with being happy for them, and being sad all at the same time. It freakin' sucks and what is worse is later possibly finding out you went through all of that for nothing, that their entire relationship wasn't even as great as you thought. |
| Crystal | I don't think that I worded my answer correctly, I don't even know if it makes any sense at all to you, but when the hell did anything to do with love make sense? Love= HA! Not a word I would ever describe as sensible! |
| Juhaa | I agree with mytwocents, love shouldn't hurt. True love doesn't. The love I share with my husband is pain free. It's not hassle free, or free of disagreements. But because it's full of discussion and laughter and tolerance, it doesn't hurt. True love is liberating and exhillarating, not hurtful. The only thing I can imagine that would hurt is when your love dies. But even that pain is softened with the knowledge of joining them again and memories to last the remainder of your earthly life. |
| seck | knowing that you can't teach them to love themselves. |
| Jon | I agree with mytwocents and Juhaa true love “should” be painless, my wife and I have a painless relationship, but I don't think that's what the question is about. The question is not about true love the question is about genuinely loving someone (anyone), and I think the one thing that may hurt people the most about loving someone either it be platonic or romantic is having that person not love you back. |
| jack | lol love is pain and anguish, its long nights without rest, worry of the future, past... yesss a true roller coaster ride of ups and downs. sometimes one can see heaven and others... well you bake in hell... but love quite simply is being able and wishing for all the best for nothing eles really matters but closeness to the one you love best. |
| Juhaa | Okay, answering more to the specifications of Jon, great man that he is, what can hurt about loving someone is watching them destroy themselves; whether it be with drink or drugs, or with a relationship they are in that damages everyone involved. Some people just want to self-destruct, slow or fast. It's hard to watch. |
| muryan | What hurts me most about truly loving my current boyfriend, is the fact that although we are so absolutely perfect for each other, a future together is uncertain at this point. For the first time I love someone and I mean I LOVE him, I've found the man I want to marry but we are still getting through school, and the future is so uncertain it is terrifying. That is what hurts. The uncertain future. |
| ~Harem~ | You have the choice. If you like the knot in your stomach relationship that you never know where you stand, or the game playing is causing you anxiety - then that type of a relationship can be painful, very painful. Some people call that love. Then on the other hand, If you avoid such relationships that are teeter-totter, rocky-road types, and hold out for the seamless, smooth, happy-go-lucky type of relationships; then you would have to say that love is pain free. It depends upon what you are looking for. Myself, I am into painless. I learned the hard way that love does not have to include pain - if you don't want pain. The real key here - is "CHOICE". You get to choose what you want. Some people don't feel like they are in love unless it "HURTS". If there isn't some mountain to climb, or something to conquer - then they get bored. Painless relationship are considered by some to be BORING. When the games are over, and there is no more pain, no more insecurity, and no more challenge in a relationship, then some people perceive that "they have fallen out of love." Such people are doomed to constantly seek troublesome relationships that have a constant pain to them. As long as their stomach is in knots - they declare that they are still in love. Take away the pain, the ache, the stomach knot - and they have to look somewhere else for more excitement. Some are just that way. . |
| spirial | ah no pain as in when you sit your sweet loved down and that because of language differences you are the one best suited to explain to her that she has cancer... no pain as in when the docs explain the possibilities of something wrong with the pregnancy and your choice on how to explain hmmm no pain as in when you child is coughing through the night and you must seek help... lol no pain nah simply life ...the worst is simply being away... |
| Star of David | What hurts about truly loving someone is knowing that you may not be able to always keep him/herhappy and that he/she may not be safe sometimes, the fear that something may happen to him/her and and cause him/her pain; the fear of not being able to keep your loved one safe and loved and protected always, unafraid and loved every day. When I am no longer here and it's not in my hands anymore, I fear that the one I love will not be loved the same. that's what hurts most, not be able to ensure that person's happiness forever. |
| B.K. | If you let go of fear and realize love is not a possession but something as free as the air you breathe...it's lovely. It's when you apply ownership that it becomes painful. |
| chris | Wow. You said it, Harem. The whole "love-doesn't-have-to-equal-pain" concept is probably the single biggest lesson I learned from my divorce and ending up finally with my fiance and best friend. Of course, pain can be associated with ANY human endeavor - but it is also true that one major definition of dysfunction is the seeking out of that pain - consciously or unconsciously. What many think is the feeling of being "in love" is actually the feeling of being off balance. So, for these people, when their partner returns their affections and doesn't play games with their emotions, they wonder where the "love" went - or if it was even there in the first place. Pain - when it occurs ANYWHERE - is a sign that something's wrong. Love that gives back freely is the only kind that matters. Anything less is just a waste of time. |
| Chances | If love has ever hurt when it shouldn't, then surely it is for one who loves enough to heal the pain? |
| Hi Friends, I'm Leonard Crabtree of Fort Worth Mortgage | When they can't feel the love of George W. and Laura Bush! Thank God for his re-election! John Kerry is married to SATAN! Everyone knew that! Evil! Hollywood! Go U.S.A! |
| Kirk | I hate being dependent on someone else, and I'm not always comfortable with someone being dependent on me. |
| Misti | It's not supposed to be anything but honest. You should be with someone because you love them and are in love with them. Ideally, it should be requited but that isn't always the case. The feelings you experience should be easy, not forced or false. I'm in love now and the feelings are very natural and easy. I think that for the first time in my life love is exactly as it should be...powerful, true and completely requited. The difficulties I experience with my boyfriend are because we are poor and he has a rare disease that may require surgery. It's a cliche but the way I see it, when you truly love someone whatever shit life hurls your way can be dealt with because the love makes you stronger. At 31 I am finally growing into the woman I've always aspired to be. |
| scqueen | What she said ;-) |
| spaded | Love is blind. It is nice to think it should be easy, but real life is always going to get in the way of that. Happily ever after is a pipe dream that serves to make people even more miserable, because when reality hits, they think they are doing something wrong. Just because Love is blind doesn't mean that people in Love should be blinded. Hope that made some since...lol! |
| chris | Depends. Love can be easy or difficult, depending, I think, on the experiences one brings to the table. Dysfunctional relationships can certainly complicate things - because we expect crazy, we expect to be off-balance, etc. "I'll never be hurt again," said someone I once dated - right before proceeding to make choices that pretty much guaranteed she'd be hurt again... So, like Misti said, sometimes life throws stuff our way, and if we're in a good relationship we can deal with it. But sometimes difficulty is a matter of choice. Find someone on your emotional level. Regardless of what you think, you won't bring them up to yours - they'll bring you down to theirs. That's what keeps relationship therapists in business. |
| Chances | I think love is like anything else. You get out what you put in (without being stupid about it - many people need time out, their own space, etc.). Is that so difficult? But (1) relationships are never simple and (2) if something is an uphill battle all the time, it may require re-evaluation. |
| ~Harem~ | This reminds me so much of the last question about pain. Life is difficult, but love shouldn't be. If love isn't easy, then you more than likely are with the wrong person. Many people may not want to hear this, because so many people like a challenge, and if there isn't a challenge, they get bored. Unfortunately, such people are doomed to seek out relationships that are difficult, and always need working on. It reminds me of people that buy fix-it-up homes that need lots of work, and they never have enough money or time to ever finish them, and the home is always in one stage or another of being repaired, upgraded, added onto, etc. You know those homes with the roof half finished, the paint in three shades of prime, etc. Some people would not be happy, unless they had something to work on. But in a relationship- if you have to constantly work on it - what time is left to enjoy ? I've had relationships like that, that I spent many long years trying to fix, repair and make right. And now that I look back with hindsite - Those relationships drained me of all my energy, and I was so busy working on them, that I missed a lot of joy and fun. In retrospect, my relationship now - is smoother than a gravy sandwhich. It's been three going on four years, and it just keeps getting better each day. The new-ness has gotten newer with each passing day. Everytime I turn around, I'm falling more and more in love. Isn't that a better way to spend your time, than trying to make something work - that is difficult and needs fixing ? I think so. He'll be home any minute, and I have to go and slip into my silk, slinky, leopard lingerie. I have kids that are older than most of you who are writing on here - and let me tell you, Life is good. And more exciting than it has ever been. We're going to have dessert before dinner. If you know what I mean !!!! Wink* And then a sweet chaser before we retire for the night. Woo Hoo...... And you don't know who I am - so I can share this little secret, - I don't spend time fixing and repairing a difficult relationship - instead I spend that time now, enjoying the gravy boat of true soul-type love. Life is too short, to spending it - trying to make something work that just isn't right to begin with. Gotta go, Love from ~Harem~ :-) wink* . |
| Tanqueray Cowboy | Love's easy. Relationships are the bitch. |
| scqueen | What he said ;-) |
| galadrial | Love isn't supposed to be either. It just is. It doesn't come to the heart---like a critter you can tame and call...more like a butterfly that might decide to light on you---or not. And we stand there, and wish it will, follow it with our eyes---and don't dare breathe, even when it lands. Life without love would be a mistake. Life with love is a fanny beating, butt crushing, nerve numbing damned adventure. And those are not ever easy. |
| Kirk | "{making love stay is easy... It's lust that flees}" --Tom Robbins I think that's a very true statement. Also, I think I didn't put enough effort into the whole shared interests thing in my failed marriage. So I was thinking that it was easier than it was... |
| Cryingshame58 | Love is suppose to neither be easy or difficult. My experiences it has been dynamically complex and I wouldn't have missed it for the world. |
| ladyinwaiting | i believe true love is easy, it's the lust/love relationships that are difficult (usually due to our own insecurities). if you have to work to make someone love you then it's not real love because you can not make someone love you, love is given freely and if it's not given freely then why would you want their love, if you have to work at it now then you will always have to work at 'makeing' them love you. once again i believe true love is easy, the chemistry is there, the receptors sites connect and the love is transmitted, thus easy and natural, no work required just positive energy used. |
| Echolocation | Yeah, what Tanq said! I've always liked what Kate Hepburn said: "Love has nothing to do with what you are expecting to get — only what you are expecting to give — which is everything. What you will receive in return varies. But it really has no connection with what you give. You give because you love and cannot help giving." So in that sense, yes, it is easy. It's as easy as breathing because you can't help it, or stop it, or change it. (Then again, Kate also said "Sometimes I wonder if men and women really suit each other. Perhaps they should live next door and just visit now and then." LOL!) |
| spencer king | i think love should be difficult. love would be as amazing if it wasnt for the trouble often encountered chasing it |
| jack | love is simply that... and of its self it is bliss... but now what one chooses to make of it and how one chooses to take it... |
| ardimino | Love is both. It can create the greatest feeling in the world and it can cause the most pain. |
| kluless | Both. It is supposed to be easy to love someone, when the love is real, and I have found that to be so. Life, however, has a way of bringing reality to a boil, and circumstances are usually what make any loving relationship difficult. At least that is my condensed answer... |
| Liz | I find that it just intensifies whatever is there already...if you are in a great relationship, the holidays make it sweeter, if you're in a difficult one, it gets worse. |
| Misti | This is my first holiday season with Michael, my boyfriend of almost nine months. We are struggling financially and Michael has recently been diagnosed with avascular necrosis, which will require hip replacement surgery. Despite all this, we are very happy to be together and excited about our first Christmas together. We bought a six foot artificial tree at Wal-Mart and decorations from the dollar store. We put the tree up in our furniture-free den and put Michael's toy train from childhood underneath it. Celebrating in the midst of adversity has definitely brought us closer together. We have magic. |
| ladyinwaiting | I find with mi steveki, it brings us closer. He actually works from home during the holiday. I think it is to keep me from looking in the gifts. However, this is the first time I have felt this way. I have spent many holidays alone, and many wishing I were alone. |
| hollywoodfox | This will be the third holiday season with my boyfriend, and I've found that it brings us closer and strengthens our relationship. Even though we can't always afford extravagant gifts, we find ways to make it a very special time together. |
| chris | When you're with the right one, the holidays are magic. When you're not, they're the nightmare before Christmas. |
| Chances | Yes always a new start... resolutions as on the comments board. Quitting smoking while my partner isn't ready is a hard one, but I feel it's something I need to do for me. Have to hope he'll follow suit eventually, without having any expectations as such. : ) |
| Echolocation | I don't make resolutions about romance, romance is far too unpredictable for that to have a hope of working LOL!! |
| Malu Lani | I certainly hope so. Already have |
| Jon | No, not really. I see the New Year in the most boring of ways, as just an end to the last year. I usually don't try to make a "fresh start" until I feel I've reached the end of the last one, whether that be on New Year or any random day is up to circumstance and fate really. I don't think I'll be making any resolutions for the romantic side of my life, I'm doing well so far, so, I think I'll just keep on trucking for now. |
| aparajita | not myth, but factual! i am living proof that SAD does occur. every winter i feel like i die along with the leaves on trees and the flowers and it's like i am holding my breath until the first few rays of spring come. i hate winters in a big way. |
| B.K. | My poetry on the front page this month and written in Jan speaks to this question. Yes, I'm more sensitive and that's wonderful and horrid at the same time. Ha. |
| mrwinterhill | Winter depression? Maybe it has to do with darker days, longer nights, shorter colder rarer forays outdoors. Winter holidays can be a reminder of difficult family relationships, past and present. Certain New Year's Eve countdown and mistletoe traditions require a partner. If one is depressed about relationships or their absence, winter may be a low point. On the other hand, spring is coming. |
| Violet | It is not a myth. It has to do with lack of sun. Sun provides vitamin D and that is the vitamin that helps keep you from feeling "sad." I am a victim myself. It helps to take a multi vitamin and go tanning once in a while. :-) |
| ~Harem~ | ` I personally do not find one season better or worse than another for romance. Each has their own wonderful ways of making love and romance special. WINTER - A time when two is better than one for keeping warm, and snuggling under the blankets. SPRING - A Time when life is budding everywhere. The flowers, butterflies, and singing birds - are very romantic and inspiring. SUMMER - A time of unlimited Sunshine, warm breezes, and splashing teases - to enhance love and romance. FALL - A time of cool winds and breath taking auburn sunsets, lend itself to snuggling, cuddling, kissing, and rubbing noses. A romantic rodeo of love. To me, they're all good and conducive to Romance. ` |
| Misti | It reminds you to cherish the people you love. Animals, too. If it weren't for Valentine's Day, people would not know to give chocolates and roses and other sweet reminders of their affection to their mates and children and other family members (there are cards for everyone, ya know). People would not give special bones to their dogs, special whatever cats like to their cats, toys to their hamsters. We need Valentine's Day to remind us of this and so much more. I'm being facetious if you can't tell. I really like Valentine's Day...the colors, the possibilities, the excuse to buy goofy gifts for the One you Love. I give in everytime. I really really like heart-shaped boxes of chocolates, tacky and trite as they are. When they're empty you can store things in 'em, like love letters from Kurt Cobain and Billy Corgan (if you're Courtney Love). |
| chris | Free chocolate. |
| Echolocation | I'm with Chris -- free chocolate :) And the fact that it's a great excuse to tell someone exactly why you love them (as if one ever needs an excuse...) |
| jolee | The best thing about all the stupid cards with the seemingly heartfelt but truthfully soul-less messages, the little white teddy bears holding tiny red hearts both of which are probably destined for dark, dusty closets or yard sales, and the flowers that will surely wither and die - the best thing about all of this is that I get to make fun of it. And that it reminds me that originality and sincerity are still the best gifts for someone you truly love. |
| snapperhead | The fact that I can look my boyfriend in the face, tell him that if can't show me he loves me every other day out of the year that I don't want a gift, and he still gets me a gift anyways. Not flowers, which will die but chocolate that I love. Practical things that he would get my anyways is what I got - a locket to wear all year round with a real 4leaf clover to always bring me luck and a tuner for my guitar since I don't have one. He's the best guy ever. |
| naturalbornkillerblonde | Bah humbug!!!!! I'm never attached for all the important holidays or I'm with thoughtless schmucks. I did make my daughters feel special by secretly delivering roses to their school. They never figured out it was me. |
| Jon | It reminds us all that cupid died so that we may all love. Right? ;) Seriously, I dig those candy hearts, always had a taste for them. |
| Kirk | Probably easier. Fall is nature going into a coma, Winter is abysmal, Summer I'm hopefully too busy enjoying it to write, but hope Springs eternal |
| Juhaa | I haven't noticed any difference at all when it comes to seasons and my writing. What determines how 'easy' it is for me to write is what is happening in my life. If things are slow and boring, I'm not very creative. |
| B.K. | I think Spring has a sense of rhythm of its own and the whole universe comes out to meet it from the dulldrums of winter. It's much easier to write in spring, for me anyway bk |
| jolee | I am outside planting flowers and soaking up the sun in the Spring -no time to write - plus in the past few years my poetry and prose have been sort of dark and painful. Spring makes it harder to be dark. Maybe this year Spring will inspire me to lighten up and write happy. |
| Misti | With spring comes more sex for some reason. So it is easier to write poetry now. Fo shizzle. |
| Misti | (seasons have nothing to do with my writing) |
| LaDivinaCinzia | More difficult! Everything is not as cozy and even though there are flowers and green grass blooming, I find that the oddly damp and slightly warm air sap all my creative functions. |
| Lolly Gaggin | Farting Slippers, Six-Pack Beer Belts, Talking Toilet Paper Dispensers, Personalized Military Display Cases, Bunco Babe Gambler's Tees, Dog Umbrellas with Leash Latches, Stuffable Santas and Illuminated Turkeys, Personalized Bible Tote Bags, Sponge Bob Inflatable Sleep-over Beds, Wolf and Tropical Fish Mats and Hopping Bombs. Police Personnel, Poseable Wrestlers, Mummy Slime, Sticky Feet and Hands, Tattoo Chokers, Fun Dips and Belly Lights, Coin Erasers, Duck Glitter Pens, Religious Puzzle Watches, Candy Cross Bracelets, Pirate Bubbles, UFO and Toilet Putty, Flying Pigs, Pull Back Tanks and Smarty Cars. Alien Stove Pie Hats, Neon Canteens, Walking Sushi, Jumbo Poppers, and Star Springs, Psychedelic Basketballs, Double Heart and Foam Missile Bubbles, Patriotic Inflatable Whammers, Baby Boppers, Fireman Squirts and Multi-Directional Water Guns, Clackers, Knock Knocks and Hand Blasters, Finger Bikes, Mini Eye Pops and Staring Eyeball Straws. |
| Kirk | Probably. |
| scqueen | No way! |
| Misti | As a society...probably so. As an individual, no. Despite all the baggage and residue from heartaches past and failed relationships, I am very optimistic about my future with Michael. It's just a matter of finding someone you are truly in sync with. |
| grumblebee28 | sometimes... |
| Chances | I think cynicism is a protection mechanism... and if you want the true/romantic/lasting love you probably have to let down the barriers eventually to let the real you be seen. The exception (that proves the rule) may be two cynics who understand each other perfectly - without having dropped the cynicism, they already know what lies beneath. : ) |
| B.K. | It's like life in general; no matter how many times you fall down you need to keep getting up and get back on the bicycle after a little rest from the bruising. |
| darwin | i'm cynical toward life not love. i choose to be that way. |
| Juhaa | We're cynical. More and more as time passes. But not TOO cynical for true/romantic/lasting love. It still exists, and always will. |
| jolee | Personally, no. As a society, yes. We are bombarded with images of casual, meaningless sex, anything innocent and genuine always seems to pale in comparision with that. I think most people think that true love is an antiquate notion - best left to the romance novelists and adolescent girls. I believe it exists and if you are lucky enough to find it and recognize it, it will flourish. If you close your heart or embrace the relationship ideals presented by the media - you're lost. |
| chris | Cynical people view things...cynically. Those who aren't don't. |
| Echolocation | No, no and yes. |
| B.K. | "The most meaningful thing you can live for is to reach your full potential. At any given age the body and mind you experience are but a tiny fraction of the possibilities still open to you-there are always infinite new skills, insights, and depths of realization ahead of you." Deepak Chopra I keep this right beside my computer or in the book that I am reading as a bookmark. bk |
| Star of David | No, No, No, No, No! It's never, ever too late. I find this is real in so many ways I never thought possible and in places I never expected. |
| Chances | Only if you're bored. (Had so many answers, and this is was the least likely to be misunderstood...) |
| sohail | LIBERATING IRAQ* Every child whose limbs got amputated Every woman whose husband is soaked in blood Every father whose children lie buried in the ruins Every grandmother who will never see her grandchildren grow up Every school that is destroyed Every hospital that is looted Every doctor who is deprived of medications because of sanctions Every palace that is hit by cluster bombs Every statue that is toppled over Every oil well that is in flames Every city that is covered with a cloud of smoke Every villager who is dying of thirst Every animal that is starving And Every bird that is inhaling toxins Is asking the whole world Is this the liberation they promised us? Is this the blood-drenched freedom that our future generations will remember? After all, who used the weapons of mass destruction? Dated April 12th, 2003 Khalid Sohail *Dedicated to Robert Fisk, an independent journalist |
| sohail | WE ARE ALL CHILDREN OF MOTHER EARTH When would we realize? We are all children of Adam and Eve Our enemies are our distant cousins Alienated by ethnic and religious walls Separated by linguistic and national borders Divided by the history of Holy Wars When would be become aware? We all belong to the same race The same tribe The same family The Human family We all share The same moon The same sun The same mountains The same valleys The same deserts The same jungles The same winds The same oceans When would we recognize? We are all children of Mother Earth Khalid Sohail Dec 31, 2001 |
| Kirk | Sure. Sometimes you don't realize you need new ways, and then the relationship implodes, and that's the end of that. |
| sassy | I think love is blind...but boy when the love goes, the blinders sure come off in a hurry! There were red flags flying all over the place with my last love, and when I was madly in love, I didn't see any of them. But as soon as he wore the love away, I saw it all! |
| B.K. | I don't think it's blind. I think we all see what we want to see and let go of the rest. When the sour grapes happen you have a choice of letting it all go and accepting the good of what was there. Going on or dwelling on what you think you never saw. Much better to let it slide and go forward than to keep beating yourself with the past |
| spaded | NO. If you are in love at some point and people use this euphemism to describe the relationship what they really mean is someone is stupid. I have a friend whom I love dearly, who has a husband she loves dearly. This man lies, cheats, and steals. He has been caught red handed by her and other people in her life many times. She has left twice and always takes him back...you know he is changing he is trying. All you have to do is listen to her and you know she knows better. She isn't blind to it she is just stupid in love. (to stupid to let go apparently). Happily in this case she is also stupid enough to be genuinely happy (go figure). So all I can say when she talks about them is yeah, uhh uh, I know what you mean, even thought what I really want to scream is I KNOW YOU ARE NOT REALLY THIS STUPID!!!...lol. |
| chris | Love isn't blind, but it needs contacts (color contacts at that). |
| Echolocation | If it is then it isn't love, it's infatuation. If you're blind, then sooner or later the blinders will come off and you'll see that what you were loving was never really there. Real love is seeing the whole person, flaws included, and loving them anyway. |
| scqueen | Love isn't blind, just people. |
| Chances | Love is blind, deaf, dumb, stupid and forgetful. And maybe that isn't such a bad thing. ; ) |
| Misti | Love is blind and lust is the seeing eye dog. If you don't have the patience for braille, trust your fingers and avoid the mess altogether. |
| Kirk | Nah. Pretty people tend to find pretty people and same for less attractive. It creates tension when there's a big gap is perceived attractiveness. |
| naturalbornkillerblonde | Love is blind or rather we try to retrofit because we may be lonley. Or sell ourselves short because we think we can't do better. Love is blind as long as we are blind to loving ourselves first. Does that make sense? |
| penelope | Perhaps most importantly, love turns our eyes from the possibility of hurt, of loss, of that person not loving us anymore, of love no longer being. And so it should, perhaps, for who would love otherwise? |
| CryingShame58 | Love is not blind. Love may appear that way because at times love is unconditional... |
| Misti | If you look at the quantity of marriages, no. People get married a lot, at least in America. We live in the era of multiple mini marriages. My grandparents got married in their teens and have been married for over fifty years. You don't see that anymore. Maybe that's one of the reasons we live in the era of multiple mini marriages, though...people get married thinking they will always be in love, the sex and romance will always be great and they will never desire another human being. So much for that shit. Ideally, you should marry someone you love and are IN LOVE with, someone you respect, someone who shares your sense of humor and your take on life and how to live it, someone you can fight fair with and not be able to stay mad at for any length of time, realizing all the while that problems will arise. Poverty or financial crises unless you're very lucky or come from a wealthy family that can bail your ass out...disease...hospital visits...infertility...miscarriages...the death of your children...the loss of friends...all the stress that comes with today's economy and workforce and the dissipation of true community. You need to marry someone you can go to battle with...you and your partner against the world. So in short, no. I do not think romance has wrecked the institute of marriage. That's a rather sweeping generalization. |
| B.K. | No I'm with Misti, I don't think so either. My Aunts and Uncles and Parents were all long term and the romance of my parents beats anything I've ever seen. They kiss so much, hold hands and have traveled together thru thick and thin with the most wonderful romance to go with it. Sorry but I'll say it again and again, it is all in the cosmos, you're beating your head against a rock until you find out how it works. |
| B.K. | But wait now I guess she means todays marriage. Humm with the internet romances it just might have made it harder, yes probably, but wrecked it, not if you do it right. bk |
| sassy | I think, if I understand the question correctly,that yes, marriage has been ruined by romance. It used to be that marriages were not made on romantic whims, but on other considerations, compatibility, mutual benefit, girls would be married to men they barely knew, and it was understood that it was a contract, for life. You didn't leave your family to seek excitement and romance elsewhere, because marriage wasn't about excitement and romance so much. Now we all get caught up in that first rush of love and lust, and we think its going to last forever. Some couples are lucky enough to be able to weather the ups and downs and the fluctuations in feeling and attraction, but if your marriage is based on romance and attraction and nothing else, its not going to last, and if you marry for these reasons, you are probably going to be a repeat offender. I've been through two of these marriages myself, and have sworn off the grand old institution until I can find a valid reason for marrying. Beyond the attraction and lust and romance. But I do still get misty eyed when I see long married couples holding hands and whispering to each other... |
| chris | No, I don't think it's wrecked anything - at least not for those with an attention span longer than 3 minutes. |
| ~Harem~ | ` Au Contraire - Romance is what makes Marriage last. If you loose the romance - ususally the marriage goes down the tubes with it. ` |
| sassy | I had a professor in college, in a class called Reason and Romanticism, who said that human beings invented romantic love...that romance is something we were taught from literature and now media...I can't remember exactly how he put it, but he wondered what the state of marriage would be like if you left "learned romance" out of it...it would be dreadfully boring, but if not for the notion of romance with that not as our ideal, families might have a better shot at staying together. I don't think successful marriages have anything to do with attention spans. I think that some of us get caught up in the romance of a moment or a situation, and against our better judgment marry the wrong people. You marry the wrong one, and you are doomed from the start. And I don't think that |
| CryingShame58 | it takes more to wreck a marriage than missing romance...romance is just one of the many elements to keep a successful marriage balanced.. |
| Randy1 | |
| Randy1 | I agree. But I do sense enough to keep my reasons to myself. Just let me say this though. Romance is a two way street. You want romance? Then give a man something to be romantic about. Dress nice. Be feminine. Act like a lady, be treated like a lady. |
| Muryan | I don't believe that romance wrecks marriage. I believe that more often than not marriage wrecks romance. There's too many people who were so happy until they got married and had to deal with the stress that that entails. If two people cannot coexist peacefully and romantically within a marriage then they had no peace and romance together in the first place. Why is marriage such a buzz kill? Why, oh why should it be any different between two people when they get married than it was when they were simply together? No. Marriage wrecks romance. And I don't understand why. |
| Kirk | Well, it's definately cranked up the divorce rate I'd say. |
| Jon | Yes, I blame stand-up comedians. /got nothin |
| greysky | hmmm... romance ... as in 15th century? 18th? Wine and roses? Married for profit? At what point are we willing knock a little romance? |
| greysky | ....................to.................... er umm oopsy |
| Chances | Romance? In the 20th/21st century? You've got to be kidding... marriage is about the only place *true* romance exists! The rest is pretty much a one night stand. And you can interpret the rate of divorce in light of the above statement, if you're feeling argumentative. |
| Chances | btw - not to mistake romanticism for idealism. : P Hope someone's getting this. *sigh* |
| callaphair | I think that romance can be found anywhere... from how the dew intimately clings to a blade of grass, to how remembering someone's favorite flower makes them smile... has romance wrecked marriage???? only if you are looking in the wrong places. |
| Savannah Haze | If I answer this now it will either make me cry or just piss me off. I'll refer you to a poem I wrote some time back. It wasn't just romance... it was Hollywood! [[2002.07.22.23.13.10688]] |
| Savannah Haze | Okay, that didn't work... here it is. Hollywood ruined my love life. Damn you Dirty Dancing. Damn you Meg Ryan. Damn you all you sappy crappy Lifetime movies my mother subjected me to as a child. “Real” men don’t dance and they could care less if you put your nose in the corner. No one is that bubbly and you don’t always get the guy and when you do he’s rarely one that you hated or met over a radio program and heaven knows he won’t be an angel. When is the last time a guy took my face in his hands and kissed me? When was the last time anyone ran to me and embraced me in the rain? When was the last time that I met a handsome stranger, fell in love and married him in 2 weeks? This is the really real world. A world of burps and farts and addiction to electronics and racing to non-simultaneous orgasms. I’ve been walking around for years, blaming you guys for not touching me right or not knowing exactly the right button to push to make me smile. I expected you to know when I wanted it sweet and romantic and when I preferred down and dirty. Wine me, dine me, but don’t expect sixty-nine, at least until after the third date. You are supposed to like my friends, my mother, my pet. Is it childish idealism? Where are those guys that I plastered to my walls? The ones who had it all? Good looks, good hair, brains, common sense, drive, sense of humour, passionate, sensitive, protective? How did I end up with Bob, the sensitive guy who sent me flowers on our one week anniversary but had back hair like a Cromag? Or Jeff who looked like a Greek god but expected me to worship him like one too? And Mark, the man with the job, the Jag and no time for me? Then there was Sam who made me feel like a queen… at least until our clothes were off and I felt like I was in middle school again. There are no perfect men. There are no perfect relationships. And I’m not Meg Freaking Ryan. Maybe I expect too much… … or maybe guys should watch more movies… …and less porn. |
| Kirk | In theory, no. In practice, yes. And I think heartbreak is an important part of the human experience. I don't think I ever could have understood "The Great Gatsby" without having a big unrequited love...that's why I didn't "get it" in highschool. |
| NMDionysus | To care passionately for another human creature brings always more sorrow than joy, but one would not be without that experience. |
| ~Harem~ | Does anyone really know what love is? Is there a definition that works for all ? Love isn't tangible. It evade description, and reminds one of air, which is invisible, but felt, it's tasteless, and yet sought after, it's priceless, but so expensive to the greiving heart. Can you capture the wind ? Can you grasp the air that flows through your fingers. I have been married four times and divorced three times - and I can honestly say that I don't know what love is exactly. I can say that I made mistakes in my decisions and perceptions of those that I thought I loved. But I don't think anyone really knows what love truly is. My best description is this. Love is a feeling of completeness with someone. Love is a need that seems to be fulfilled with someone. Love is a smile that gets better with every passing day. I still remember the first few lines of a poem that I wrote about love when I was 15 years old - it goes like this : "Love is but a pressure, not kind, but noble and true, although it causes wanting, it shows that I need you." And I would still have to agree after all these years, that Love is a desire or wanting for someone that fills our many needs. We often settle for having just some of our needs met. But when we finally "hold out" for the one who meets all of our needs - we seem to be content. ` |
| ~Harem~ | ` I feel compelled to add this. I tried to address romantic love. The greeks were smart enough to have different words for different types of love. "porneia" and "agape" are just two of them. When "romantic love" is felt, it is embellished by "Porneia" (sexual love) and "agape" (love based upon principal. And so, when those in romantic love relationships add the above to the recipe - the love deepens and becomes more meaninful. And isn't that what the concept of the "Loveblender" is all about. Blending all the wonderful ingredients that go into the many aspects of Love. Of special note is "Agape". "Agape" love entices you to put the needs of your partner before your own. "Agape" love persuades you to be the first to say your sorry. "Agape" love draws you into being thoughtful of your partners feelings. It's the icing on the cake. It's the magic sparkle that keeps your partner mesmerized for life. ~Harem~ ` |
| Chances | It is the classic 'you don't know what you've got until it's gone'. I guess occasionally people may be blind to the love that was there and only realised after the fact. But if you mean you can never appreciate love fully until you lose it - I think you can only know what love is in the moment. The aftermath is just a coloured memory, either sweetness and light or vain regret. |
| Jon | Yeah, probably. You can't be bored if you've never had fun. |
| B.K. | No I don't think you can ever lose what is truly love. But knowing what real love is, now that is the question. |
| spaded | I don't think love must be lost, but I do believe that you can be in love many times before you find a special someone and realize that all the past loves, were not really loves at all. Suddenly you know exactly what love is. |
| Cryingshame58 | No two people or their experiences are alike so I don't think someone must lose love to experience it...With every kind of love, I never stop loving someone once I've encountered it including romantic love...The relationship may fail, but the love is still there deep within my mind, heart, soul...I do know others that can stop loving someone, but I haven't felt myself capable of that... |
| Chances | Yes, but of course that assumes that the person/people who lived 'happily ever after' had plenty of adventures and ups and downs first. Because 'happily ever after' is the ending after some huge drama of a story. But eventually, yeah. : ) |
| Kirk | More or less, yeah, absolutely. It's just not easy to get to that. |
| B.K. | To get there you have to survive every blast that life has to offer and then yep in between and ever after there is always a happily ever after. They just had a couple on tv that had been married for 82 years. Both over 100. Just amazing, but still holding hands and talking affectionately of the other. Can you imagine what they had survived together. Yes I believe it happens even today. bk |
| aparajita | i dunno, this seems almost like a loaded question to me. to imply 'happily ever after' makes one think that all is a bed of roses (or at least this 'one'), that there are never any challenges or obstacles placed in the path of relationship and love. we all know that this is simply not true at all. along with the good come the bad. it is a testament to the strength of not only the relationship but also the committment of the people in that relationship whether or not it survives. maybe i am reading too much into the question... ?? although my kneejerk response answer is a 'no'... i really really hope the answer will be a 'yes' someday. |
| Jolee | Yes, because love is one of the few enduring ideals in the world. If the right 2 people are lucky enough to find each other, and both are smart enough to realize it and to realize that life is not easy and that bad things happen but they pass...then those two people can live happily ever after. Today's age has only made it more difficult to recognize that "right" person. But it can happen. |
| Jon | Nah, I don't think so. "Happily ever after" means what it means, that you and your significant other are continually happy, and that's just impossible. There are hardships all throughout life, no matter what age or level of maturity you have reached. "Happy after the (insert)", however, is possible. |
| ~Harem~ | ` Happily Ever After is possible at any time and any place, but the odds against it - make it a rare experience. We live in a world of the "quick fix" and so people rarely wait for anything. Haste makes waste, and many of us are living proof of wasted live, doing the quick fix thing and settling for much less than what would truly make us happy. Our world is filled with people pounding square pegs into round holes, and that is why we have a lot of crying the blues everywhere. And even beyond relationships, we have so much stress in today's age - that keeps us from truly being happy ever after. With cancer, aids, terrorism, road rage, traffic accidents, poverty, hunger, injustice, kidnapping, raping and murder, greed, and so on - who can truly be happy ??? It's hard to bake a romance cake, when you're missing some of the ingredients, or the oven is broke. ~Harem~ ` |
| ginalans | NO |
| Irongirl | Yes, as long as you know yourself well, have a good solid foundation to stand on, come together as two wholes, rather than two halves to make a whole, it's very much possible. It's not easy to find for sure, but once you work on yourself the good people start to come your way and you will find that perfect match (which can be any number of perfect matches out there in the world). |
| Star of David | No, no, no, no, no......! |
| lola0210 | yes..80% |
| wistful | If you mean can you have a fairy tale existence where you never know a single moment's sadness, regret or worry, and you are always perfectly aligned and in tune with another person: No. If you mean can you truly find your soulmate with whom you can grow and change and persevere through all of life's adversities and your own petty foibles: yes. My God, Yes. |
| chris | Roughly 50% of the time I'd say it's around 90% possible. |
| Chances | Personally, no. Statistically, yes. I think any relationship that cannot accommodate change, whether individually or of the dynamic of the relationship is doomed. I think good relationships must by their nature do that - because a good relationship helps you grow, as you grow you change, as a relationship matures, it changes. Of course, this may not be so much case in point with mature relationships - but to reach that level, there must have been change. And the people in mature relationships are, presumably, still growing and learning, i.e. changing, and those changes might well affect the relationship still. |
| B.K. | Ok yes, I want to lose ten more lbs. Be able to run a mile or two without stopping. Learn how to shoot and load a gun and start getting my survival act in gear with all the equipment necessary JUST IN CASE. (That should turn my Darlin on right there ha or scare him to death one hahaha) |
| Star of David | Yes, when bad things happen they make me realise how grateful I should be for all I have and all the love. At times like that all the bad memories and ghosts pale into insignificance and I am left feeling so thankful to God for everything in my life which in turn makes the relationship stronger and more appreciated. |
| cryingshame58 | Yes, for instance, in November my daughter is moving 500 miles away and I will miss her deeply...but not as much as the mother that misses her daughter that has gone missing in Aruba...My heart and spirit prays for those precious lives that changed from one trip to Aruba...I will know that my daughter is in a safe place with her new husband and new life...the kind of life that i taught her to live--independent from me...most likely I won't see her often enough, but will see her beautiful shining face again to wrap my arms around...I've never been one to collect material possessions, but always thankful for what I do have...I've lived within my means financially so always aware and thankful of the comforts of my lifestyle...With Katrina came the loss of lives, homes and jobs, that has left me more grateful than ever before, but causes me to go out and form relationships to the people that have lost... |
| Jon | Time. |
| tremble | respect |
| Echolocation | Honesty and passion |
| Savannah Haze | Unquestionable trust. |
| Star of David | Lots of love and attention |
| spiritwic | trust-it's priceless, and therefore more valuable than anything you can buy... |
| cryingshame58 | i thought about this and I asked him...his exact words were, "i don't know if I can just say one thing...i'd say your love, your desire, your trust" |
| sassy | the freedom to be himself, instead of who I want him to be. |
| B.K. | Surrender. |
| scqueen | All that you possibly can - life is short. |
| tremble | hmmm k.... http://plato.stanford.edu/entries/respect/ |
| butterfly03 | unconditionally... the "Golden Rule". Trust, respect, non-judgement, love. My southern elders call this manners, yet it goes far beyond that. Romance is a secret ingredient too! |
| muryan | The most valuable thing I can give to my lover, is me. When we are together, my mind, attention, heart, soul, the very essence of me is with him. When we are with each other, with nothing left to do, I give him my self. My thoughts are with him, in the present moment, not bouncing around anywhere else. That is of course, what he deserves most in the world. |
| jolee | The most important thing you can give your lover is undivided attention when he or she needs it most - and support - a shoulder that will always be there to cry on, even when he or she is crying over something you think is silly or trivial. |
| hippiechic | My *heart* |
| Misti | Your cell phone number. |
| ~Harem~ | ``````` The most valuable thing that you can give to your lover - is - "Yourself". ``````` |
| kimlovein | your undivided attention |
| goldflakes | Your cat. If your lover feeds your cat, he loves you. If your lover runs over your cat, it was never meant to be. |
| Chances | I think the most valuable thing you can give your lover is the feeling that they can trust you. I'm not sure how one goes about this - but commitment and truth in word, deed and love probably contribute. |
| chris | Unconditional love. Not the other kind. |
| Kirk | VD...it's the gift that keeps on giving! Tee hee. Seriously, for me? It's "enough space". For her...probably affection and reassurance. |
| Violet | A baby? Okay, I'm seriously obsessed. I do think that watching your love become a tiny little life would be the most incredible gift. All raging hormones and baby desires aside... I would say companionship. It's good to know that you have someone who cares about every event in your life. |
| darwin | a sense of home, or belonging, that this is it, here, now and there's no place you'd rather be. |
| darwin | man, my last answer almost sounded like jesus jones... |
| naturalbornkillerblonde | To be trustworthy |
| Angel | The last piece of chocolate cherry cheescake. Mmmmmmmm.... |
| Angel | How about taking the "indoor" activity out, and the "outdoor" activity in to add a little spice: Making love outside, having a picnic inside on the floor etc. These can be seasonal as you might not be able to have a picnic outside in the dead of winter, so bringing it indoors will bring a summer feel to a cold dreary day. Indoor and outdoor activities can both be fun if you are with the one you love. Snorkling in a garden tub or hot tub with your sweetie could be fun as well. ;) |
| CryingShame58 | however how sappy this sounds/is--it doesn't matter where I am with my sweetheart, as long as we are together... |
| Kirk | Indoor. But that's just because I hate the outdoors. |
| jolee | Depends on the mood, I guess. But overall, I prefer curling up on the couch or in my big, fat bed. Preferably listening to a raging thunderstorm outside. |
| Misti | in summertime when livin' easy me like cool twisted sheets under whirring fan with sweetie and cold beer or ice water in autumntime when leaves fall from trees me like dressing up scary with sweetie, eating candy, making candy apples, watching crappy horror movies like "Amityville Horror" in wintertime when snowflakes whirl down from ice pregnant clouds me like being snuggled up with sweetie sipping hot chocolate with baby marshmallows looking at xmas tree lights watching toy choochoo go round and round in springime when one year anniversary come me like strolling streets of San Francisco with sweetie giving poetry to the homeless short answer: outdoor in the spring, definitely!!! |
| i'm just him | I'd rather be indoor during the winter time, and outdoor during the other three seasons. In the winter time i love holding her in my arms under the blankets or just resting by the fireplace (which i just started using) the only time we would go out is on new years and thats to watch the fireworks. The other three seasons I'm outside with her enjoying life, i guess you can call use bears lol. |
| hippiechic | Indoor activities. Hmmmm.... |
| i'm just him | forever ~i'm just him~ |
| Ever | Exactly what I have right now. All this love and respect and understanding is better than anything I could get anywhere or from anyone else. |
| cryingshame58 | I want quiet time with him. |
| Ever | no |
| Chances | Clean slates are readily available at all times. : ) And resolving to do things is the love child of procrastination. Just doing things is soooo much better. |
| i'm just him | no it hasn't in the past, but so far i'm doing good this year so ask me in december of 2006 ~i'm just him~ tru story |
| jolee | I always make resolutions. Something about the new year inspires hope and faith in my ability to change my life for the better. Rarely happens though. |
| ~Harem~ | ` Why wait till the new year, when you can resolve and change your life at any time, especially when it is needed. Just remember - "Today, is the First Day of the rest of your life." ~Harem~ ....... |
| Kirk | Resolutions aren't all that effective I've found. There's nothing that special about the turning of the calendar. |
| Kirk | I guess I agree with Chances...clean slates are available 365. 366 every 4 years. |
| darby | I'm not so great at resolutions. I always make them though. Even when I know they won't last much more than a week. And this year my one resolution lasted less than that. |
| B.K. | Just trying to remind myself to eat better and exercise and take better care of myself is the usual resolution. That and to try new things and to get out for some adventure. |
| chris | My New Year's Resolution this year was not to make any more New Year's Resolutions. I didn't keep it, though. :( |
| Star of David | New year resolutions - the triumph of hope over experience. I fall for it every time but only make one simple resolution. This time it's to pary everyday so i have a set time so that I will not forget. |
| Star of David | sorry, pray |
| i'm just him | relevant Yes. Espically when your spending your first one together. |
| B.K. | Yes, I think any day to celebrate love is a great day, no matter how big or small you make it. |
| Kirk | I think yes, because there's now an expectation to do something romantic on that day. |
| ~Harem~ | ````` But even better are the times, when he brings me flowers - and it isn't any particular occasion, and I wonder why he got them, and why he gives me this gorgeous romantic card - and then I ask him, Why ? and he says - "Why Not"? and then I ask him what's the occasion - and he says, " I don't need a special occasion to show you how I feel." That makes Valentine's Day - PALE in comparison. I never did Like "Forced" gifts. When you least expect a gift - that's when it's ~ AWESOME ~ . ~ Harem ~ ``````` |
| aparajita | short answer... yes. despite 'circumstances' having a day dedicated to romance is still... well, a romantical kinda thing. this gives those people that are not innately romantic that extra little push and perhaps even courage. i am with harem though in the long answer. although i am a girl and i get all mushy over flowers and cards, etc... i place a higher value in the gifts of just because. regardless of how small or large, those that are unexpected are always the best. |
| i'm just him | of course, its been four years and i still try to think of ways to sweep her off her feet with a romantic jester. So i have to say romance doesn't just come to mind, its basically my ideas ~i'm just him~ tru story ~i'm just him~ tru story |
| Star of David | No, the word that does come to mind is tenderness. I don't know why. Never really thought about until now. Romance does not matter. How funny. |
| darwin | nah, it was never a "romantic" relationship. more one of love, and i don't think that love has to be romantic, flowers and such. and when i think of love i think of honesty. |
| Kirk | Not as much as it should |
| blakey | Absolutely! I feel romance is synonymous with all the little things you do for your sweetheart to let them know that you don’t take the relationship for granted. Flowers, cards, impromptu lunches or a phone call just to say ‘hey’ are all romantic in my eyes. Only an artificial flower can survive without constant attention. |
| aparajita | yes i do... i think it is because mainly that winter is death to me. a piece of me dies and loses hope. spring brings back that breath of life, renews hope. symbolic that if the flowers and trees can survive the harshness of winters cold then i can survive the harshness of the empty embrace of loneliness. |
| B.K. | Not really, though spring and fall are my two favorite seasons. I think romance and passion are relative to any time or season when the cosmos is atmospherically charged for lovemaking. |
| i'm just him | yeah alittle bit, the spring time gives you more things to do with your loved you, things you couldn't do in the other 3 seasons |
| Sarah143 | Yes, To see a bright brillant sky with thousands of stars on a warm night and to know the balmy air of summer is coming with it's rich floral perfume makes my heart feel lighter somehow. |
| Misti | Absolutely. Something about the pollen in the air and the gentle beginning of sun baked days. |
| B.K. | Purely and simply the gift of very valuable time. bk |
| ~Harem~ | The Most Romantic Gift When I opened his present, I was surprised and shocked. We hadn't been dating that long. Inside was a keychain with three keys on it. It also had my name engraged on an oval gold plaque. I didn't know what to think. I didn't know what to say. I looked at each key one at a time. "What's this one for?" - I asked. He said that it was the key to his car. "What's this second one for?" - I asked. He told me that it was the key to his house. "And what does the third key go to?" - I asked with a puzzled Look. He waited a long time, and blushed a little - and then told me that it was The KEY to his HEART. I was probably more stunned than happy, because we were so brand new to each other. I told him that it was too soon, and that I couldn't accept all these keys. He told me to hold onto them, and that when the time was right, I would have them handy and ready to use. It's been five years now. I have never used the key to his car (I have my own car). I have never used the key to his house (we live in mine) - But the third key - I use it every day. What a beautiful gift. ~Harem~ ....... |
| chris | This is something along the lines of Harem's response... Just about a year ago, right before I left for Canada, my then-fiance gave me a silver engraved keychain that said, simply, "You hold the key to my heart". I carried that with me through those six weeks away from home. That, and the thought of the wonderful woman waiting for me, kept me warm in the cold Toronto winds. |
| i'm just him | i was given a future with someone, but after 4 years it was tookin away. But still it was a gift worth unwraping ~i'm just him~ tru story |
| darby | |
| Cryingshame58 | My most romantic gift is given to me "everytime" when our eyes, hearts and souls are locked in sync the instant before our lips meet to kiss...We can be anywhere and it's in that split second where we share our unspoken language of love that only we understand... |
| spaded | Underwear and a can opener...lol. It showed me that when I talked he listened and I find that romantic. |
| Kirk | A clay rose. Not clay, Fimo actually. |
| Misti | A quickie divorce! I was set free into the angelic arc of my lover's arms! |
| stability | Forgiveness...A second chance. |
| Ever | Darby's answer is poetic. |
| aparajita | he destroyed my ability to ever trust completely again. for a while i even let him have the core and essence of me. got that back now... hoping maybe the other will follow someday. maybe. |
| B.K. | In the summer before the eleventh grade I fell in love with a geeky looking guy that I told to get contacts and dress a little differently. Well he did and came back to school looking like a movie star. You can guess the rest, the girls went ga ga and he broke it off with me. It hurt something awful. He came back in six months but it was too late. I had outgrown high school boys and was dating college guys with fast cars. bk (true story) |
| darwin | i was dating someone who just couldn't commit. he even hated to hold hands in public, lest we look like a couple. i made him dinner for his birthday, over which he fell asleep. then in the morning when he woke up he broke up with me. he wanted to sleep with his ex girlfriend. |
| chris | That's an easy one. It had to be Katie T------, my sixth grade crush and California blonde newly-arrived in New York. My best friend and I both had a thing for her - and she knew it - so she proceeded to toy with our emotions for the better part of that school year. We didn't stay best friends for very long. I suspect she was fully aware of what she was doing, which in retrospect makes it all the more hurtful. For some reason I was fascinated by sadistic girls back then. |
| ladyinwaiting | I fell in love within a year of my divorce. We dated for 3 years and he could never commit. He told me I would never trust again before he was finished with me. Those words haunted me for years after we parted. I was the one to call it quits and put him out of my car and made him walk home in the rain. He was engaged within 3 months. Then mental damage lasted much longer than the love. I still write about him at times, but the pain is long gone and his marriage lasted less time than we dated and he has since been through another wife. We are still friends and he did ask me out again after 13 years. I had to smile as I was thinking 'sweet revenge' but I said NO thank you I remember when. |
| Chances | Me. I have hurt myself more than anyone else would ever want to hurt me. Although having expectations is a good way to let other people hurt you - but I still think that comes under the heading of hurting yourself. |
| mosh | Love is reckless; not reason. Reason seeks a profit. Love comes on strong, consuming herself, unabashed. Yet, in the midst of suffering, Love proceeds like a millstone, hard surfaced and straightforward. Having died of self-interest, she risks everything and asks for nothing. Love gambles away every gift God bestows. Without cause God gave us Being; without cause, give it back again. |
| Chances | ^ If writings are not your own work, please attribute authorship. Written by Rumi 1207 - 1273 |
| lonesome_day01 | my ex i suppose...she chose drink over her family...i'm not sure i ever really loved her, but it hurt nonetheless. It hurt me because of my children and i'll never forgive her for that |
| blakey | We built what I thought was lifetime relationship based on solid friendship. As our time together increased, we became closer and exchanged secret vows of being together forever – not at the present time, but in the future. Then after 5 years of not knowing where one of us began and the other one ended, she broke all contact – not even a goodbye. It wasn’t until many months later that I ran into her, all the while still trying to establish communication, and found out that, as she put it “was in a very good place in her life” and hoped I would find the same happiness. Her happiness happened to be with an associate of mine whom I had known for almost 17 years and, at one time, been described by her as anything but a potential partner. Love may be blind, but it also has a cruel streak. |
| ~Harem~ | He was my High School Sweetheart. The kindest, most loving person I knew. He taught me how to open up and express myself. He was my best friend. He was the first man that I ever made love to. We dated for three years before we married. I thought I knew him. We were married for 11 years and had four children together. I felt sorry for all the unhappy people in the world. I felt almost guilty for being so happily married to the most wonderful man in the world. Then one day, he told me that he didn't love me anymore. He told me that he never loved me, not even when he married me. He told me that he cheated on me, the night of our wedding day (when I thought he was at an all night bar, because he was having trouble sleeping). He told me that our waitress had slipped him her phone number. He told me that he had been cheating on me the entire eleven years that we were married and even before that, while we were dating. He told me that he had been having an affair with my sister, three of my closest friends, with two of our neighbors, with his secretary at work, with women near his job, and with the wives of some of his friends. He told me that he had affairs with some of our teenage babysitters, and with women he picked up at bars. I had to stop him, because I began to feel the food in my stomach - beginning to surface. ENOUGH, ENOUGH .... I didn't want to hear anymore - That Was Quite Enough. I was amazed that I never even surmised. I never had a clue. I trusted him completely, always. That night, he packed his things, and moved out. He stopped as he walked down the hallway, to tell me that he was sorry that it didn't work out. He made me feel like we had just been bowling partners, and our mixed doubles team was over - end of season or something like that. It was so easy for him to just walk out. Just like that. He stopped to say goodbye to the children, two boys and two girls, 9,5,3,2. And then he was gone. A week later, he came by the house on the Harley motorcycle that I bought him (saved my pocket change for years to get). He had one of his girlfriends on the back, and she was wearing my helmet. She needed to use the bathroom, and after they left, I found that all my good jewelry was missing from my jewelry box. I could go one - because the story doesn't end here, but I think you get the picture. It doesn't hurt anymore - as long as I don't dwell on it - or write stories like this one. ~Harem~ `` |
| lilla | Myself. For the clumsiness. The carelessness. The stubbornness. The persistence. The lingering. The wanting. My own misgivings. The filthy thoughts. The long wait. That procrastination. This leaving. |
| Kirk | Sometimes hot, sometimes cold is the most painful thing in romance. But I don't think she did it on purpose. |
| softreign | |
| softreign | I can't say he hurt me the most, but I can say he hurt me the deepest....my son's father. We were together 6 years. When my friends or family ask what went wrong, my answer is simple, he neglected me. If I were his child instead of his lover he most certainly would have been in jail. He raped me of my self esteem, my selfworth, and my sense of humor. I became the opposite of him in everyway. So much that I didn't know myself in the end. I, unknowingly created the balance for his recklessness, by losing my own self. Thankfully he did leave me with one blessed gift, my son. With his birth I became strong. My life changed in so many ways. Not only was it the birth of a new life, it was the rebirth of me. I could linger in the dissappointment accumulated in 6 years with his father, but instead I dwell in the love my son creates each day. This love is far greater than any I have ever known and no man's love will ever surpass it. |
| i'm just him | She let someone in a place I thought I shared alone. It was a long distance thing, but still nothing has pierced my heart as much and I promise nothing else ever will (My Threat to Love) ~i'm just him~ tru story |
| Misti | Richard Simmons. He snatched the sprinkled donut right out of my hand, the bastard. |
| twisted_lie | Hhhmmm let's see..well he was the kind of guy that every girl would dream of..Romatic,sensitive,funny..blah blah blah..well these guys dont exist,coz the fact is that they'll always be the ones to break your heart,i'd rather go out with a jerk,at least I know what his real face looks like,guys suck! |
| Cryingshame58 | that's too painful to remember... |
| abogadalbny | Back in the early '90's in Northeastern Ohio, I dated a guy who looked like Axl Rose (well, sort of!) I remember thinking he was totally hot, because he had long hair and just turned 21--old enough to buy beer! He was my first kiss and my first inspiration for hot poetry. I showed up unannounced at his house one afternoon and found him kissing another girl from the neighborhood. Ah--true, young heartbreak! Ya never forget it! Even now, I still sigh and turn up "November Rain" LMAO!!! |
| Sarah143 | I was hurt the most recently by my husband, when he chose to confide in and love another woman, it hurt so bad that I still can barely breathe. |
| Jon | Me; not being able to let go, not loving/trusting enough or too much, countless other things. I really don't tend to blame the object of my affection, because, in the end, it was my choice to be hurt. |
| annski808 | yes, of course. at the right time the wound itself heals but the mark of the past is still there to linger to always remind us the lesson that we should learn. |
| chris | Yes - and then some. |
| B.K. | Forgiveness is all you need then time and life take care of the rest bk |
| ~Harem~ | `` Some old song lyrics say - "only love can break a heart and only love can mend it again." I guess that appears to work for some people. But I think it is a bad idea to let your healing be done that way. I think healing should come from within yourself, and should not be dependent upon another love to come into your life. If you live by the song verse above - You are setting yourself up for more and more pain. To heal completely ? Nothing in life is 100% because it's not a perfect world and we aren't perfect people. But most of us can still function fairly happy on 50 percent of more. ~Harem~ ....... |
| it dosent matter | again.... why would one wish to? its real , its a part of life, and most of us fight hard for it. |
| Ever | The pain subsides, but the lesson remains (we hope). When a NEW love comes into existence, the pain from past heart break is almost completely forgotten, but NOW you're wiser - like childbirth; you know it hurt really, REALLY bad, but until it happens again you realize you had forgotten the depth of the all-encompassing, completey excruciating pain. Even so, THIS time around you know what /and what NOT to do. So, it's better. When a TRUE love comes into existence, any past heartbreaks become childish and inconsequential. |
| Kirk, Blender-Keeper | No. |
| twisted_lie | People say that time heals,but I think that's not true,once a broken heart,always a broken hearts. The wounds may not show but they're there. Only the right person can cure and mend the heart ache that another person left behind. |
| B.K. | Being alone is not easy, but much better than being in a bad relationship. You are wasting the time of the person that you are in the relationship with and they are wasting your time that could be spent with someone that does care about you. |
| blakey | In my opinion, heartache is curable; heartbreak is treatable. I would much rather be alone and dream of what could be than be with the wrong person and feel obligated to share feeling and emotions that are, in the end, wasted. |
| ~Harem~ | Being in a bad relationship - Leaves you NO Time to find the right person. Being Alone - Does ! Some people spend so much time trying to make a relationship work - that they spend their entire life with wrong people - thus leaving them no opportunity to find the Right Ones. You notice that I say ONES (plural) as opposed to ONE (singular) - That wasn't a mistake - but rather a true FACT. Just as there are many wrong or bad ones - there are just as many Good - Right ones. Being Alone - will give you the time to find them. ~Harem~ ``````` |
| no white flag | Better to lose a lover, than love a loser. |
| lovesick12 | Being alone. At least if you're in a relationship you kind of have someone there. When you're alone not only are you expierencing heartache, but you're just so lonely and that makes every sad feeling that you have even worse |
| lovewhispers | My belief is its worse being in a bad relationship. That can be demeaning,causing continual doubt witin yourself, creating a sense of "dis-ease". If you are centered and believe in yourself enough that you know you are worth more, it's better to be alone and hold out for something that will compliment who you are instead of destroy you. |
| naomi | being in a bad relationship... That is the worst in my book for it can affect you emotionally, psychologically and physically |
| spunky70657 | Being alone. |
| lilla | .... in a relationship, yet still alone. |
| twisted_lie | probably in a bad relationship,unless there's beating up and all,in my point of view i'd rather be in a bad relationship than be alone. |
| lonesome_day01 | the worst thing is being alone when you THINK you're in a good relationship |
| mingles | being alone... as sad as that is! |
| Kirk, Blender-Keeper | bad relationship. it takes up all your time! |
| darwin | i guess it's all relative, you can be in a bad relationship and still the intensity of loneliness. i think i would prefer the freedom of being alone though. none of the heartache, and for lack of a better word, drama. |
| aparajita | being alone is easier, much easier, than being in a bad relationship. worse still is being in a relationship and still feeling alone... unable to communicate, unable to share life, unable to give and receive love. alone and lonely can be tolerable, feeling alone and lonely in a relationship has the potential to break a person due to unmet expectations. |
| chris | Being secretly tortured at Gitmo isn't as bad as being in a bad relationship! |
| muryan | Being in a bad relationship is far wose than being single. I'd rather be lonely alone than lonely when I'm loving someone. |
| spaded | Bad relationships stink! |
| Chances | I believe in my own good company. : ) |
| Chances | ... and am in a good relationship now. : D |
| badnews | "I just crapped in my pants. Can I get into yours?" |
| Juhaa | The person who is now my spoue. They told the truth. Always. |
| muryan | The man I'm about to marry. He's unselfish, kind, respectful, trusting and trustworthy, intellegent, always willing to talk about ANYTHING, completely supportive, completely accepting of everything in me and he never, NEVER falls asleep or leaves for work without giving me a kiss and saying I love you. Think about the ideal man and the ideal way that he would treat you... and that is Ryan. |
| Misti | My husband, Michael. I could not ask for a better friend, lover and muse. Michael has encouraged me to blossom into the woman I've become. We are truly blessed. We have the magic that happens when two people come together for no other reason than mutual love and attraction. We have helped each other accomplish numerous goals. Michael didn't save my life, I did that myself, but he was the person who gave me the will to live a more honest, fulfilling life. |
| cire nehtrow | Who's treated me best? A great Woman who loved me more than I loved her. She was so giving and considerate and fun; I wished I loved her the way she loved me and felt guilty for not. The Woman I've loved the most in my life has hurt me and treated me the worst. If only we could steer our hearts...there'd be a lot less heartbreak. |
| stability | He is honest. But more importantly, he knows that our love is a two way street. |
| Chances | If the answer isn't everything, what was the point? |
| Ever | Is Kevin still alive? |
| it dosent matter | a woman who has loved me no matter what everyone eles has had to say... |