By angieubaldo
Date: 2001 Jun 08
Comment on this Work
[[2001.06.08.19.41.5714]]

choices

i miss you like hell
even though you have only been gone a short time
and you will be back.
its just that,
suddenly i am getting a glimpse of what life will be,
when you are gone.  
this harsh reality scares me.
this burning inside,
this yearning for you,
that has no cure.
i suddenly wonder,
will i be strong enough?
I know i will.
Gradually you will fade from my memory,
I won't wake everyday reaching for you,
My heart won't skip a beat when the phone rings
I won't hear your distinctive knock on my door.
and i will be fine.
besides, I do not have a choice in the matter.
so i must deal,
be grown up,
come to terms that you will leave me one day,
and never look back.
you will only write to say hello,
wish me the best.
and that you cannot make me any promises.
but i would rather you not make them, then brake them in the end.
i cry when i think of you loving someone else,
because for so long, you have been my inspiration,
the one,
the one i wanted to give it all to,
always.
And i foolishly waited around for you to want the same from me.
but deep down i always knew,
you were not ready.
i am a fool.  
i fooled myself into believing i was wonderful enough to tame your wild heart.
but i cannot be angry,
because it is
your life
and you have a choice of how you want to live it.
but if i had a choice, i would spend mine with you.
what should i do now,
get out while i can?
And throw away the wonderful times that we could have now,
in the present..
but i fear that these memories that we make now,
will only come back to haunt me,
just remind me of what could have been.
and how i had no choice but to let you go.
i feel so helpless,
confused.
i do not know where to turn,
or where to go.
i am lost in a world not my own.
i never expected to love you this much
and i am sorry i do
i am sorry i act like a idiot and call you all the time
and i am sorry i do not know how
to let you go.