|
By Stephen Date: 2002 Jun 03 Comment on this Work [[2002.06.03.02.22.13818]] |
|
I'm drifting down the Mariana Trench of love again, and I've never understood why I couldn't just refuse to sink. I exhale bubbles of regrets towards the lighted world above like I always do, but they are never heard. It's a mystical confinement, love is. Like the void of royal blue beyond me, I feel deep and pressured, yet I restrain from an easily accessible escape. The cement around my feet is at this point attached or realized and I give up at the sight of nothingness. Sometimes it feels so cold down this thorough and I'll never predict when i'll hit bottom, but I always do touch sadly down. By this time the choking gasps for life my lungs and hurting heart desire are evident. All I want is out, while at the same time just wanting the impossible depth to be deeper than where I usually stop. I starve in loneliness from these continual abyssal prisons. I need out. Clawing at my ankles drifting in crawls across blank death. I feel like pure implode and all I want is the weight off my frail body. How I survive this long I'll never know, but the cement block always has cracked on it's own, no matter how much struggle is used. Almost as with enjoyment, the hard as rock squares always release when the proper time of torturing is over. I then learn all over again what pain it is to swim alone. With reckless limb waving and frantic strides, I endeavor towards the faint white ceiling. These trips seem to last forever. I cry like levels of depth and systematically make new depression records every time I am working back up. My surface lasts for mere seconds. I look for a world of bright innuendo calling out for me. She's out there, and within my reach, I know she is. But this twist of seer I'm caught sunken within leaves me serene and without ambition. The pathetic manner in which I expel emotions allows for more unforgiving squares to cement me, and it is in this vulnerable state I am left swallowed hungrily back into my own sea of tears. If only I could swim. If only I could live. If only I didn't sink before I reached her shore. |