|
By Misti Date: 2002 Sep 04 Comment on this Work [[2002.09.04.03.53.29971]] |
|
it's true that since we left Austin I haven't cried for hours at a time or torn pictures off the wall in a rage or drove off looking for cardboard boxes I've been a good girl a sedated girl a functioning girl an almost sane but still suspiciously unique girl but I'll always be a Listen to Me Speak...Damn it! girl I can't seem to shut up tone it down mute it blunt it soften it ignore it whore it "always a headache, never a bore" you want more from me than I guess I'll ever be able to give you can live with it or we can part ways in a daze wondering,"what the fuck happened???" because yesterday was a happiness poem the first truly happy poem I'd ever written, you said and today is something else one stupid argument and going to bed without an i love you and a kiss and everything is mangled again lopsided ...I hate not being held yesterday you told me that I wasn't John Wayne but I wish I was it's not penis envy it's strength envy I want to be a stoic cowboy I don't want to need pills or cuddling I want a hazy life life in the abstract the stark landscape/trail drive/solemn mission serving as the only reality. |