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By lulu Date: 2002 Nov 20 Comment on this Work [[2002.11.20.18.01.29897]] |
| ahhh....my loving family, such a beautiful thing...not. the one place that should accept me for who i am, love me for everything i will be, and forgive me when i make a mistake is the most hateful thing i have ever seen. some try to force me into being someone i am not(and will never be), others insist on holding grudes over my head. i am held to impossible expectations...well some may be possible but there is no sense in me reaching for them because if i do things souly for other people, they hold no value to me. even if i did excell at your expectations, i know i would never be good enough in your eyes. and you wonder why i want to run away? to free my self from this hell hole? sure life by myself would be tough, but i can be tougher. dont get me wrong some of my family memebers are some of the most amazing people i have ever known. still....why wont the others love me? am i that horrible? they jugde me on what they have observed, with out ever taking the time to know me. its like in the eminem song "have you ever been hated or discriminated againts?" well i have and mine is from my own family. i tried, everyone knows i did, but i can no longer endure this constant favoritism. i can no longer take people trying to change me, rejecting me, bringing up the things i am most ashamed of on a regular basis just to watch me squrim. you've already drove one of us away and he will never come back, i am so jealous of him its sad. i wish i had the power to rebel against this family, to leave these spiteful people and be free from their clutches. like i said, you've already drove one of us away, and be you can be sure that im the next. |