|
By lulu Date: 2002 Dec 17 Comment on this Work [[2002.12.17.20.13.20708]] |
|
as i look back to the way i used to be...i realize...i was living for all the wrong reasons. i lived for my friends, what people thought of me, and whether i got the last laugh. i almost smack myself for being so dumb....for thinking every little thing was a huge-life-forming-earth-shattering catastrophe. as i look around and study my world...i think...what am i doing here? why am i surrounding myself with these people? i have nothing in common with them. i am so bored with my life, my friends, my family, my world..i dont know what to do. as i look toward the future...its a blurr. like a fresh sheet of fog or taking off you glasses when you have 20\90 vision. i have no idea what i live for. i have no clue what i want to be or who i want to grow into. all i want to do is close my eyes from all of this. i want to turn and run so fast i fly. i want to be away from everything and everyone. i am realizing people arent always who they say they are. i am discovering how strange of a place the world really is. this is so scary....its like having a panic attack. i know i dont like it here...i know i want to leave...i know i want someone to tell me im wrong and all of this is a dream...or nightmare. i want someone to reassure me.....but who? |