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By Lulu Date: 2003 Mar 25 Comment on this Work [[2003.03.25.14.27.27255]] |
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I'm alone.. but I'm used to it. Alone. Because I dont trust. Because I feel stupid. Because I dont want to bother others. Because I refuse to accept pitty. Because I cant just scream all of this out. Sometimes I shake I want all of this to come out..so bad.. I want it all to be known. I'm sick of hiding. I'm sick of pretending so I wont do it anymore. There's rumors.. but there will always be. They pointlessly float around, disturbing others.. like dead fish in a bowl, Just to be flushed away, for so new ones can take their place. I stare into the darkness wondering why I put up with any of this. Wondering who these people really are. Wondering what they really think behind their smiles..behind their kind guestures. I wonder, what the ones that claim to care, really think of me. I wonder if they care at all. I have no reason..but I dont believe them. I dont believe any of them care. I wonder when I'll be made a fool of. I wonder when they will turn their back to me..when they will reveal their true feelings. I wonder when all this will end. At these thoughts I become paranoid..and bitter. I pull away from everyone, and question everything. I try not to think about these thoughts, but often find myself dwelling on them.. Oh Well. |