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By Lulu Date: 2003 Apr 19 Comment on this Work [[2003.04.19.20.00.30116]] |
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I saw him the other day. I spoke to him.. Heard his voice.. I even looked into his eyes. I havent been able to do that In such a long time. It didnt hurt.. I didnt cry.. I just dont know why. He didnt make me feel ashamed For three years.. I have watched him in the halls.. Seen him with everyone else.. I wondered if he had forgotten about me.. I wondered if any of his friends knew about me.. If they knew anything. I wondered if he saw me.. or if he ignored everything I am.. and everything I was. I cried myself to sleep for a year straight.. The hurting never stopped. Everyday I woke up with his knife threw my chest.. and the worst part was.. I stabbed myself. I was my fault.. and it still is. I could never face him.. I couldnt meet his eyes. But this time I looked him square in the eye. I gave him his knife back. He could make me feel so alone.. so horrible.. So ashamed. He made me feel ashamed of myself. But this time I wasnt alone. I wasnt ashamed.. I was me. You did that for me. You helped me. I felt like I wasnt alone.. I wasnt ashamed of who I was.. I wasnt too terrible to face him.. Because of you. I felt like I was ok.. I wasnt that bad of a person. Yes, I've made mistakes.. But you love me any way. Knowing that.. I looked him in the eye.. smiled..and walked away. ....And I wondered why I love you. |