By Unknown
Submitted by cryingshame58
Date: 2003 May 01
Comment on this Work
[[2003.05.01.17.13.30167]]

For Dog Lovers Everywhere

to my guests...

PLEASE
REMEMBER:

1. The dog lives here. You don't.

2. If you don't want dog hair on your clothes, stay off
the furniture.

3. Yes, they have some disgusting habits. So do I and so
do you. What's your point?

4. OF COURSE they smell like dogs.

5. It's their nature to try to sniff your crotch. Please feel
free to sniff theirs.

6. I like them a lot better than I like most people.

7. To you they are dogs. To me they are adopted children who
are short, hairy, walk on all fours and don't speak clearly.
I have no problem with any of these things.

8. Dogs are better than kids. They eat less, don't ask for money
all the time, are easier to train, usually come when called, never
drive your car, don't hang out with drug-using friends, don't
smoke or drink, don't worry about whether they have the latest
fashions, don't wear your clothes, don't need a gazillion dollars
for college, and if they get pregnant you can sell the pups.

9. The same applies for the cats, except they will ignore you...
until you're asleep.