By sassy
Date: 2006 Jan 20
Comment on this Work
[[2006.01.20.11.03.23050]]

Changed

Oh God
how I loved you
though you were jealous and
possessed of a temper
(you'd let it build slowly
til eruption was unavoidable).
So close to the surface
all your emotions ran
hot and liquid and deep,
you rode the current
never understanding you
were the master of your own ship,
while you were with me
anyway.

It hurts and helps me to know
that you are a changed man
with your new love,
that she has tamed the awful beast
in you (I seemed to provoke it).
You laugh freely these days
you are easy in your skin
your eyes are brighter
than I ever knew them.
You're having a child
with her
and while I know there are so
many, many reasons we were not right,
there is an ache in my heart.
Forgive me if I turn away
at your deserved happiness,
part of me has crumbled,
I don't want you to see.
I am smaller now (inadequate).
I wish I could have given that
life to you.