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By Marshall Hann Submitted by Blessed23 Date: 2014 Aug 20 Comment on this Work [[2014.08.20.17.21.26919]] |
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You'll never really know despite the powerful empathy that consumes every cell of your being just what it is that you have done to me, just what I have become because of what you have done You took every shard of assurance every certainty and tore them into a million pieces, burned them and let the ashes rise into the hot air of this summer until nothing was left but a mist of desperation and melancholy weeping in the wind but searching for some place to bury its sadness away from every prying eye You took a heart that you had made defenseless (after so many years of the callouses and scars building walls and gargoyles to ward off the demonic humans I thought surrounded me) through the years of love you gave to me and then took your sword without mercy and bled every last bit of blood from my body while you wore that holy cross hanging paradoxically, horrifyingly around your neck (and all I can see as I stare up laying on the ground is that sacrosanct smile so terrifyingly beautiful on your lovely face) You burnt everything that you had helped build in me You have unmade me; I have become some petulant idiot consumed by monstrous emotions that I can no longer control and I have become some immoral fool guided by impulse and hatred fear and grief hopelessness and misunderstanding impatience and other emotions that will probably remain nameless for all eternity (I have become that which I despise) What I have seen with my own eyes has driven me out of my mind and inside some unknown corner of myself, a corner where my love for you still burns like fire and lights the black darkness that surrounds it, however dimly it burns it is still the one thing I am sure of in this god damned world I search for numbness now in an effort to rid myself of the hurricane of my heart and the supernova that my mind has become I am blind I am uncertainty I am havoc (I am chaos incarnate) |